Struggling father
- Thread starter Scaumoor
- Start date
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your honesty before God has been heard, and I thank you for speaking so openly about the weight you are carrying. You are not a loser. You are a father who loves his wife and his daughter, who wants to provide and to work with his own hands, and who is grieving after a long season of closed doors. That grief is real, and God does not turn away from it.
Do not apologize for coming to God only now that you feel at a dead end. The Lord does not shame the person who comes late, He receives him. The very fact that you are turning to Him now is a reason for hope, not for condemnation. He is a Father who listens when His children cry out in need, and He desires that you keep coming to Him every day, not only in this breaking point.
I want to speak to you about despair, because that is where the heaviest battle is now. To fail to get a job, to be laid off after parental leave, to be misled by a law firm, to be rejected again for work you were willing to take, these are painful wounds. But to despair is a deeper wound than any of these. One of the greatest dangers is not that we sin or fail, but that we give up hope and believe there is no remedy. Even the adversary never despairs of our destruction, he keeps pressing. How much more should we never despair of God's mercy and help. If he does not give up, we must not give up on the salvation and care that God offers.
God is able to make a way where there seems to be no way. When there was no human hope for Abraham and Sarah to have a child, God made them parents. He is able to raise up children from stones, how much more is He able to raise up provision, work, and strength for you from this hard ground you are standing on. Your situation is not beyond His power. He sees the year of searching, the applications, the disappointment today about the delivery work, the legal confusion, and the pressure of living in an expensive place like the Bay Area where even a modest income feels out of reach. None of this is hidden from Him.
So I urge you to keep casting the net. Fishermen sometimes cast many times and catch nothing, and then on the next cast they bring in everything they need. A farmer sows and waits days and weeks with no sign, and then suddenly the fruit appears. Your long waiting does not mean the harvest will not come. Keep doing the faithful, practical things each day to seek work, to ask for help, to learn and to apply, even when it feels fruitless. God often works through that persistence.
Do not cut yourself off from fellowship while you suffer. You wrote that you do not want to drag your wife down by telling her how you truly feel. I understand that desire to protect her, but a marriage is a covenant where burdens are carried together. You do not need to pour out every dark thought without wisdom, but you do need to let her know honestly that you are struggling and that you need prayer and partnership. Isolation feeds despair. Let your wife, and if possible a trusted pastor or a few faithful men in a local church, know where you are so they can stand with you, pray with you, and help you keep hope. You are not meant to carry this alone.
You are eager to work, and that eagerness is good and honorable. God honors the desire to provide for your children. Continue to seek any honest work while you wait, even part time or temporary, and do not measure your worth by the salary you have not yet received. Your worth before God is not in a paycheck, but your faithfulness as a husband and father is precious to Him. He sees every effort you make for your daughter.
Let me pray for you now.
Father in heaven, I lift up this husband and father to You through Jesus Christ, Your Son. You see his weariness, his broken spirit, and his love for his family. Forgive his sins and draw him close to You. Lift the despair from his heart and give him hope that does not fail. Provide for his daily needs, open a door for steady and honest work, and give him favor with employers. Give him wisdom regarding the legal matter and peace where there has been confusion. Strengthen his marriage, help him to speak honestly with his wife and to receive her support, and guard his mind so he does not believe the lie that he is a failure. Let him know he is seen and loved by You, and give him strength to keep going one day at a time. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who alone is our salvation and hope, Amen.
Keep seeking the Lord daily in prayer and in His Word, keep asking for help from those near you, and keep taking the next small step forward. God has not abandoned you, and the story is not over.
Do not apologize for coming to God only now that you feel at a dead end. The Lord does not shame the person who comes late, He receives him. The very fact that you are turning to Him now is a reason for hope, not for condemnation. He is a Father who listens when His children cry out in need, and He desires that you keep coming to Him every day, not only in this breaking point.
I want to speak to you about despair, because that is where the heaviest battle is now. To fail to get a job, to be laid off after parental leave, to be misled by a law firm, to be rejected again for work you were willing to take, these are painful wounds. But to despair is a deeper wound than any of these. One of the greatest dangers is not that we sin or fail, but that we give up hope and believe there is no remedy. Even the adversary never despairs of our destruction, he keeps pressing. How much more should we never despair of God's mercy and help. If he does not give up, we must not give up on the salvation and care that God offers.
God is able to make a way where there seems to be no way. When there was no human hope for Abraham and Sarah to have a child, God made them parents. He is able to raise up children from stones, how much more is He able to raise up provision, work, and strength for you from this hard ground you are standing on. Your situation is not beyond His power. He sees the year of searching, the applications, the disappointment today about the delivery work, the legal confusion, and the pressure of living in an expensive place like the Bay Area where even a modest income feels out of reach. None of this is hidden from Him.
So I urge you to keep casting the net. Fishermen sometimes cast many times and catch nothing, and then on the next cast they bring in everything they need. A farmer sows and waits days and weeks with no sign, and then suddenly the fruit appears. Your long waiting does not mean the harvest will not come. Keep doing the faithful, practical things each day to seek work, to ask for help, to learn and to apply, even when it feels fruitless. God often works through that persistence.
Do not cut yourself off from fellowship while you suffer. You wrote that you do not want to drag your wife down by telling her how you truly feel. I understand that desire to protect her, but a marriage is a covenant where burdens are carried together. You do not need to pour out every dark thought without wisdom, but you do need to let her know honestly that you are struggling and that you need prayer and partnership. Isolation feeds despair. Let your wife, and if possible a trusted pastor or a few faithful men in a local church, know where you are so they can stand with you, pray with you, and help you keep hope. You are not meant to carry this alone.
You are eager to work, and that eagerness is good and honorable. God honors the desire to provide for your children. Continue to seek any honest work while you wait, even part time or temporary, and do not measure your worth by the salary you have not yet received. Your worth before God is not in a paycheck, but your faithfulness as a husband and father is precious to Him. He sees every effort you make for your daughter.
Let me pray for you now.
Father in heaven, I lift up this husband and father to You through Jesus Christ, Your Son. You see his weariness, his broken spirit, and his love for his family. Forgive his sins and draw him close to You. Lift the despair from his heart and give him hope that does not fail. Provide for his daily needs, open a door for steady and honest work, and give him favor with employers. Give him wisdom regarding the legal matter and peace where there has been confusion. Strengthen his marriage, help him to speak honestly with his wife and to receive her support, and guard his mind so he does not believe the lie that he is a failure. Let him know he is seen and loved by You, and give him strength to keep going one day at a time. In the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, who alone is our salvation and hope, Amen.
Keep seeking the Lord daily in prayer and in His Word, keep asking for help from those near you, and keep taking the next small step forward. God has not abandoned you, and the story is not over.
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