Silas
Beloved of All
The pain you describe is deep and heavy, voices that will not stop, frightening images when you close your eyes, fear of losing your son and your boyfriend, and the feeling that your life has been stripped away until you only want to leave this world. God sees you in this suffering and He hears you when you call Him Abba Father.
The Bible is honest that evil spirits are real and that they can oppress people. They can speak and torment and bring fear, and they work to deceive and destroy. The gospels show them crying out when Jesus confronted them, and they were completely subject to His authority. They are not free to do whatever they want. They are limited by God, and Jesus has all power over them. Those who belong to God through faith in Jesus Christ are marked as His own. He makes a separation and keeps those who are His. No basement or locked room can shut out a spirit, but the blood of Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit is the true protection. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.
Much of what you describe is also the language of despair. Despair grows when fear takes over, and fear makes everything seem larger and darker than it is. When we try to deliver ourselves by our own strength, we sink lower. Scripture gives words for that place, O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me. The answer is not in trying harder in yourself. The answer is Jesus Christ. God often allows us to come to the end of our own efforts so that we will stop trusting ourselves and trust Him fully, so that the victory is clearly His and He receives the glory. Victory comes not by self effort but through the Spirit of God working in the life of one who trusts in Jesus.
In the middle of hopelessness, hope returns when we deliberately call to mind what is true about God. His mercies never fail. They are new every morning. His faithfulness is great. His judgments are righteous and He will make all things right. You can think yourself into deeper darkness by dwelling on the voices and images, or you can by God's grace set your mind on the Lord, on His character and His promises, and find a different consciousness, one of hope and not despair. Wait for the whole story. What you see now is only part of the truth. When God is taken into account, what looks like a reason to give up becomes a place where He can show His power to save.
Turn to Jesus Christ alone for salvation and deliverance today. Confess your need, turn from all involvement with witchcraft and sorcery and any other sin, and put your complete trust in Him and what He did on the cross and in His resurrection. Call on His name when the voices come. Resist the enemy in the name of Jesus and he will flee. Fill your mind with Scripture, speak it out loud, and ask God to renew your mind. Do not stay alone with these thoughts. Please reach out right away to a trusted pastor or mature believer, and also to a doctor or counselor who can help you stay safe, especially as you care for your disabled son. If you feel you want to leave this world, tell someone near you immediately and let them stay with you and help you get care.
About your relationships, God loves you and wants what is good for you. His design from the beginning is that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and that sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. He calls His children to purity and to trust Him with every relationship. Bring your situation before Him honestly and ask Him to lead you according to His Word, to give you wisdom and strength to walk in a way that honors Him, rather than asking Him to bless what does not reflect His design.
I pray for you now that God will have mercy on you, that He will quiet the torment and silence the voices by the authority of Jesus, that He will guard your mind and your eyes and give you peaceful sleep, that He will protect your son and provide for both of you, that He will lift you out of despair and give you hope as you remember His steadfast love, and that He will fill you with His Holy Spirit so that you walk in victory through Jesus Christ and know that you are His child and not forsaken.
The Bible is honest that evil spirits are real and that they can oppress people. They can speak and torment and bring fear, and they work to deceive and destroy. The gospels show them crying out when Jesus confronted them, and they were completely subject to His authority. They are not free to do whatever they want. They are limited by God, and Jesus has all power over them. Those who belong to God through faith in Jesus Christ are marked as His own. He makes a separation and keeps those who are His. No basement or locked room can shut out a spirit, but the blood of Jesus and the presence of the Holy Spirit is the true protection. Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.
Much of what you describe is also the language of despair. Despair grows when fear takes over, and fear makes everything seem larger and darker than it is. When we try to deliver ourselves by our own strength, we sink lower. Scripture gives words for that place, O wretched man that I am, who will deliver me. The answer is not in trying harder in yourself. The answer is Jesus Christ. God often allows us to come to the end of our own efforts so that we will stop trusting ourselves and trust Him fully, so that the victory is clearly His and He receives the glory. Victory comes not by self effort but through the Spirit of God working in the life of one who trusts in Jesus.
In the middle of hopelessness, hope returns when we deliberately call to mind what is true about God. His mercies never fail. They are new every morning. His faithfulness is great. His judgments are righteous and He will make all things right. You can think yourself into deeper darkness by dwelling on the voices and images, or you can by God's grace set your mind on the Lord, on His character and His promises, and find a different consciousness, one of hope and not despair. Wait for the whole story. What you see now is only part of the truth. When God is taken into account, what looks like a reason to give up becomes a place where He can show His power to save.
Turn to Jesus Christ alone for salvation and deliverance today. Confess your need, turn from all involvement with witchcraft and sorcery and any other sin, and put your complete trust in Him and what He did on the cross and in His resurrection. Call on His name when the voices come. Resist the enemy in the name of Jesus and he will flee. Fill your mind with Scripture, speak it out loud, and ask God to renew your mind. Do not stay alone with these thoughts. Please reach out right away to a trusted pastor or mature believer, and also to a doctor or counselor who can help you stay safe, especially as you care for your disabled son. If you feel you want to leave this world, tell someone near you immediately and let them stay with you and help you get care.
About your relationships, God loves you and wants what is good for you. His design from the beginning is that marriage is a lifelong covenant between one man and one woman, and that sexual intimacy and living together belong within that covenant. He calls His children to purity and to trust Him with every relationship. Bring your situation before Him honestly and ask Him to lead you according to His Word, to give you wisdom and strength to walk in a way that honors Him, rather than asking Him to bless what does not reflect His design.
I pray for you now that God will have mercy on you, that He will quiet the torment and silence the voices by the authority of Jesus, that He will guard your mind and your eyes and give you peaceful sleep, that He will protect your son and provide for both of you, that He will lift you out of despair and give you hope as you remember His steadfast love, and that He will fill you with His Holy Spirit so that you walk in victory through Jesus Christ and know that you are His child and not forsaken.
