Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing this painful situation so honestly. To be dismissed and treated in an emotionally abusive way by someone close to you leaves deep wounds, and it is especially confusing and hurtful when that person professes to know Christ. God sees what you are enduring and He cares about both the truth of what is happening and the hurt it has caused you.
Scripture makes a clear distinction between selfish desire and real love. Real love shows concern for the other person and their feelings, while selfishness uses or demeans another for its own way. When that kind of hurtful behavior happens among those who claim to follow Jesus, the Bible treats it as a serious folly, something that ought not to be found among God's people. A profession of faith does not excuse dismissive or abusive words or actions. An abusive exercise of power over others is corrupt and God does not take it lightly, even when it comes from within a family.
I want to pray for healing for you, and healing in Scripture takes many forms. Sometimes God heals instantly, sometimes healing is gradual, sometimes with a touch, sometimes with a word, sometimes through a process over time. We are not confined to one pattern, because God is not confined to one pattern. There is a divine process of healing that God has built into us, and any true healing is from Him, whether it comes quickly or slowly. That includes the healing of the mind and emotions, the healing of scars and wounds that words and rejection leave behind. God is able to heal those inner places.
At the same time there is much about healing we do not fully understand, and we cannot presume that God will remove every painful circumstance exactly as we ask. Even the apostle Paul prayed repeatedly about his thorn in the flesh and learned to trust God's will and grace in it. What we do know is that God has promised to bear our infirmities and our griefs. Matthew applies the prophecy of Isaiah, surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, to the healing work of Jesus, both spiritual and physical. When Jesus broke the bread and said this is my body broken for you, He was pointing to that provision. You can bring your wounds, your sorrow, and your need for strength directly to Him who bore them for you.
It also helps to remember that while family ties are strong, Jesus said there is an even deeper bond in doing the will of God, the bond of the family of God. Your salvation and your walk with Christ is the most important need you have, more than even the healing of this relationship. That does not minimize the pain in your human family, but it does anchor you. God can be your refuge and your true family when your own family wounds you.
In a situation like this, love is the more excellent way. Love does not mean pretending the hurt is not happening or letting abusive behavior continue without challenge. Love speaks the truth, seeks wisdom, and sets healthy boundaries. It would be wise to seek godly, trustworthy counsel from a mature believer or pastor who can know you both and help you discern how to respond, how to confront in grace and truth if appropriate, and how to protect your heart. Forgiveness before God releases bitterness, but trust and closeness are rebuilt only where there is genuine repentance and change.
Faith in these seasons is not just a passive belief that God can heal, but an active releasing of that trust to Him day by day. Like those who reached out to touch the hem of His garment, we come to Jesus in simple faith and receive from Him what we need for today, whether that is comfort, wisdom, strength to set a boundary, or gradual healing of the heart.
Let me pray for you. Father, in the name of Jesus I bring this dear one before You. You see the dismissive and hurtful words and actions that have caused such pain. Bring Your healing to the wounds in the heart and mind, whether quickly or gradually as You will. Give wisdom to know how to respond with both grace and truth, courage to seek wise counsel and to set healthy boundaries, and comfort in knowing that You have borne our griefs and carry our sorrows. Work also in the sister who professes faith, bring conviction where it is needed and draw her toward repentance and Christlike love. Above all, guard and strengthen faith and draw this wounded heart closer to You. Amen.
Scripture makes a clear distinction between selfish desire and real love. Real love shows concern for the other person and their feelings, while selfishness uses or demeans another for its own way. When that kind of hurtful behavior happens among those who claim to follow Jesus, the Bible treats it as a serious folly, something that ought not to be found among God's people. A profession of faith does not excuse dismissive or abusive words or actions. An abusive exercise of power over others is corrupt and God does not take it lightly, even when it comes from within a family.
I want to pray for healing for you, and healing in Scripture takes many forms. Sometimes God heals instantly, sometimes healing is gradual, sometimes with a touch, sometimes with a word, sometimes through a process over time. We are not confined to one pattern, because God is not confined to one pattern. There is a divine process of healing that God has built into us, and any true healing is from Him, whether it comes quickly or slowly. That includes the healing of the mind and emotions, the healing of scars and wounds that words and rejection leave behind. God is able to heal those inner places.
At the same time there is much about healing we do not fully understand, and we cannot presume that God will remove every painful circumstance exactly as we ask. Even the apostle Paul prayed repeatedly about his thorn in the flesh and learned to trust God's will and grace in it. What we do know is that God has promised to bear our infirmities and our griefs. Matthew applies the prophecy of Isaiah, surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, to the healing work of Jesus, both spiritual and physical. When Jesus broke the bread and said this is my body broken for you, He was pointing to that provision. You can bring your wounds, your sorrow, and your need for strength directly to Him who bore them for you.
It also helps to remember that while family ties are strong, Jesus said there is an even deeper bond in doing the will of God, the bond of the family of God. Your salvation and your walk with Christ is the most important need you have, more than even the healing of this relationship. That does not minimize the pain in your human family, but it does anchor you. God can be your refuge and your true family when your own family wounds you.
In a situation like this, love is the more excellent way. Love does not mean pretending the hurt is not happening or letting abusive behavior continue without challenge. Love speaks the truth, seeks wisdom, and sets healthy boundaries. It would be wise to seek godly, trustworthy counsel from a mature believer or pastor who can know you both and help you discern how to respond, how to confront in grace and truth if appropriate, and how to protect your heart. Forgiveness before God releases bitterness, but trust and closeness are rebuilt only where there is genuine repentance and change.
Faith in these seasons is not just a passive belief that God can heal, but an active releasing of that trust to Him day by day. Like those who reached out to touch the hem of His garment, we come to Jesus in simple faith and receive from Him what we need for today, whether that is comfort, wisdom, strength to set a boundary, or gradual healing of the heart.
Let me pray for you. Father, in the name of Jesus I bring this dear one before You. You see the dismissive and hurtful words and actions that have caused such pain. Bring Your healing to the wounds in the heart and mind, whether quickly or gradually as You will. Give wisdom to know how to respond with both grace and truth, courage to seek wise counsel and to set healthy boundaries, and comfort in knowing that You have borne our griefs and carry our sorrows. Work also in the sister who professes faith, bring conviction where it is needed and draw her toward repentance and Christlike love. Above all, guard and strengthen faith and draw this wounded heart closer to You. Amen.
