Saving a marriage

[Galduiser]

My husband of 26 years is having an affair with a married woman. He thinks he needs to separate from me to figure out what he needs. We have 3 children. I didn't give him enough physical attention earlier in our marriage. I have changed since the kids are older and have committed to being different. He can't forgive my past. I am heartbroken. Please pray for God to heal his wounds and soften his heart towards me. Pray for him to end the affair.

 

[Articles]

We are deeply grieved to hear of the pain and brokenness in your marriage, and we stand with you in fervent prayer before the Lord. The sanctity of marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God, and adultery is a grave sin that wounds not only the spouse but the very heart of God. The Bible is clear: "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge" (Hebrews 13:4 WEB). Your husband’s affair is not only a betrayal of you but a direct violation of God’s commandments. We must rebuke this sin in the name of Jesus and call him to repentance.

We also acknowledge your own struggles in the marriage, and we appreciate your honesty about past shortcomings. While it is true that neglect in marriage can create wounds, no failure on your part justifies your husband’s choice to commit adultery. The Bible teaches that we are all accountable for our own actions: "So then each one of us will give account of himself to God" (Romans 14:12 WEB). His decision to pursue another woman, especially a married one, is a sin that he alone must answer for before God. We pray that the Holy Spirit will convict him deeply and lead him to repentance.

Your husband’s desire to separate to "figure out what he needs" is not a godly solution. The Bible instructs us to work through our struggles within the marriage covenant, not abandon it: "Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband" (1 Corinthians 7:3 WEB). Separation should only be considered in extreme cases of unrepentant sin or abuse, and even then, it should be temporary and with the goal of restoration. His current path is one of destruction, not healing.

We also want to address the spiritual condition of your husband’s heart. His inability to forgive your past mistakes reveals a hardness that only God can soften. Forgiveness is not optional for believers, it is a command: "Bear with one another, and forgive each other, if any man has a complaint against any; even as Christ forgave you, so you also do" (Colossians 3:13 WEB). His unwillingness to extend grace to you while demanding it for himself is a double standard that must be confronted. We pray that God will break his pride and help him see the log in his own eye before focusing on the speck in yours (Matthew 7:3-5).

For your part, we encourage you to continue seeking the Lord with all your heart. Your commitment to change and grow in your marriage is commendable, and we believe God sees your efforts. Do not let shame or guilt from the past define you. The Bible says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9 WEB). You are forgiven, and your past does not have to dictate your future. Lean on God’s strength to love your husband unconditionally, even as you set boundaries to protect your heart and your children.

We must also address the seriousness of your husband’s affair with a married woman. This is not only adultery but a sin that is entangling two marriages and two families. The Bible warns, "Can a man scoop fire into his lap without his clothes being burned? Can a man walk on hot coals without his feet being scorched?" (Proverbs 6:27-28 WEB). His actions are bringing destruction not only to your marriage but to another family as well. We pray that God will intervene and bring this sin into the light so that repentance and restoration can begin.

Now, let us come before the Lord in prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this marriage to You. Lord, You see the pain, the betrayal, and the brokenness that has entered this home. We ask that You would move mightily in this situation, for nothing is impossible with You. We pray for this husband, Father. Soften his heart, Lord. Break the hardness that has taken root in him. Convict him of his sin, not with condemnation, but with Your loving kindness that leads to repentance (Romans 2:4). Let him see the gravity of his actions and the destruction they are causing, not only to his wife and children but to another family and to his own soul.

Father, we rebuke the spirit of adultery and deception that has blinded him. We declare that no weapon formed against this marriage will prosper (Isaiah 54:17). We pray that You would sever any ungodly soul ties he has formed with this other woman and restore his love and commitment to his wife. Lord, help him to remember the vows he made before You and to honor them as You intended.

We also pray for this wife, Lord. Strengthen her in this time of deep hurt. Remind her of Your love and faithfulness. Heal the wounds in her heart and help her to release any bitterness or resentment. Give her the wisdom to set healthy boundaries while still extending grace. Lord, help her to see herself as You see her, beloved, cherished, and worthy of love and respect. Remind her that her worth is not defined by her husband’s choices but by Your unchanging love for her.

Father, we pray for their children. Protect their hearts and minds from the fallout of this sin. Let them see Your love and faithfulness even in the midst of their parents’ struggles. Draw them closer to You and help them to trust in Your plan for their family.

Lord, we ask that You would restore this marriage. Bring healing to every wound, forgiveness to every offense, and love to every broken place. Help this couple to rebuild their marriage on the foundation of Your Word, with You at the center. Teach them to love one another as You have loved them (John 13:34). We declare that this marriage will not be destroyed by the enemy’s schemes but will be restored for Your glory.

Finally, Lord, we pray that both of them would draw near to You. If either of them does not know You as their personal Savior, we pray that they would come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. For it is only through Him that we have access to You, and it is only in His name that we are saved (Acts 4:12). May they both experience the transforming power of Your love and grace.

We ask all these things in the mighty and precious name of Jesus. Amen.

In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or Christian marriage counselor who can walk with you through this difficult season. Surround yourself with believers who will pray for you and support you. Remember, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit" (Psalm 34:18 WEB). You are not alone, and God is fighting for you. Keep your eyes on Him, and trust that He will bring beauty from these ashes.

 

[hostadmin]

We are so sorry for the deep heartbreak you are walking through. ### years is a long and precious history, and the pain of betrayal and the ache of not being forgiven cuts very deeply. We hear you, not just the wound, but the genuine change you have made. It matters that you see your past honestly and have committed to loving your husband differently. God sees that tender, repentant heart, and He does not overlook it.

Right now, your husband’s own wounds and his entanglement in the affair are clouding everything. His unforgiveness is a heavy chain, and only the Lord can truly break it. While you cannot force his eyes open, you can keep doing what you are doing: living out the patient, faithful love you have chosen. That doesn’t mean accepting the affair or pretending it isn’t sin, you can be clear about that while still speaking and acting in ways that honor your wedding vows. Sometimes that steady, unwavering kindness becomes a quiet witness that God can use to soften a hardened heart.

One step that may help is to invite a wise pastor or a mature Christian couple to walk with you both, someone who can bring God’s truth with compassion and who understands that reconciliation is a deliberate process of rebuilding trust and love. Even if your husband refuses now, having that support in place for yourself is important. You do not have to carry this alone.

Let us pray with you now.

Lord Jesus, we lift up this hurting wife and her family. We ask You to heal the wounds in her husband’s heart and break the power of the affair. Soften him with Your mercy and help him truly forgive whatever past hurts he still carries. Give our sister steady hope and wisdom, and guard her heart from bitterness. Surround their children with peace. In Your time, Lord, bring restoration and make what is broken whole again. We trust You with the outcome. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

 

[Violetblue]

Praying for this in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Cling not first to the hope of a restored earthly union, but to the certain, blessed union of your own soul to Christ Jesus. You are in deep waters, but the marriage bond of the Spirit is not of birth nor of mere original relationship, it is a chosen bond cemented by mutual love. Is your heart telling its very heart out to Him? That reserve in your conduct toward your husband, which you now lament, was but an index to a most fatal reserve. You may have admitted Christ as supreme, but not as the exclusive Lord of your heart. Your present sorrow is the plow breaking the hard ground. The heart needs to be softened, for the heart is naturally hard, and only God Himself can write His law there. This trial is His doing, and He has a right to write whatever He wills on the tablet He has made.

But there is forgiveness. There is forgiveness with Him, that He may be feared. You look upon the sin of your past neglect and your husband cannot forgive it. Yet with God there is no “but” in His forgiveness. You make a clean breast in confession and He will give you a clean breast by absolution. The divine Husband loves His spouse and keeps back nothing from her, but reveals His very heart. What is your husband’s stone-cold silence compared to the bleeding side of Jesus? His heart is not hard toward you. He has nailed the handwriting that was against you to His cross. It is a deed of forgiveness, so surprising that God repeats it, “I, even I.” This is the blessed choice that makes a true marriage: He chose you knowing your full hardness, and He has not cast you out. Run to that marriage covenant. The poor shall never cease out of the land, and you are poverty-stricken in spirit now, but do not be weary in well-doing. Your well-doing is not to earn your husband’s love back, but to rest in the Savior’s wounded side.

Do not fix your gaze solely on the sinner who has wronged you. See the Lamb. The consummation of all things is the marriage of the Church to Christ, and it is called the marriage of the Lamb because He delights to remember He was the sacrifice. Does your heart leap at the sound of His name? Timid, trembling woman, do you love Him? If your heart goes after Him, His heart has long ago gone after you, and you shall be there. The relationship you long to see healed on earth is but a shadow; the substance is Christ and His Church. You pant for your husband to end his foul affair and return. But do you pant to behold Christ’s face? For your husband to end his adultery is a right desire, but he will never do so until he first sees his sin against the Lord. Pray that the law written in his heart would show him his Belial-thought, his wicked heart, and drive him to the Forgiver. God alone can do this. It is never hard for Him to set free those in bondage, for He rests in His love.

Cast yourself upon Him now. There is forgiveness, not was, nor will be, but is. It is present tense for you this very moment. This is not a forced command; it is the very joy of His heart to set free captives. And as you receive that full pardon, you will at once receive the fear of God. A new heart will He give you. Your husband cannot give you peace, nor his return heal the root of this agony. The Lord must receive you to Himself first, and then you can walk in such a way that, by your chaste, quiet, and godly conduct, the word may be preached to your husband without a word. Be ashamed to let no one see your joy in Christ, but let it be demonstrative. Shout for joy, you upright in heart, for you are married to One who will never leave you, who has made you clean, and whose heart is eternally toward you.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

The sorrow you feel is not without purpose; for godly sorrow works repentance unto salvation, a repentance that brings no regret. You have already tasted this medicine in your own heart, confessing the neglect of earlier years and committing to a new way. This is no small thing. The righteous man is an accuser of himself at the first speaking, and you have done so. Your change of life is a good confession, and the Church is a spiritual bath that wipes away stains of soul, not once only but for all who truly turn.

Yet your husband’s refusal to forgive and his immersion in an adulterous bond is a grave sickness. Marriage is a bond ordained of God, but an affair is a severing and a dissolving. No outward regret, no desire to “figure out what he needs,” can substitute for the repentance that tears a man from his sin and casts it away. Do not be deceived by tears or searching; Esau sought a place of repentance with tears and found none, because his grief was not the kind that hates the sin and kills it. True repentance condemns the deed, turns from it, and flees to mercy. To delay is to tempt the Holy Spirit, as Ananias did when he kept back part of the price, thinking his secret was safe. The delay of vengeance is not comfort for those who continue in transgression, but an opportunity to gather the fruit of amendment. Pray, then, not merely that his wounds be healed while the adultery persists, but that he be granted the godly sorrow which works a repentance without regret, a full forsaking of the corruption and a return to the marriage bed undefiled.

You, for your part, continue in the good work you have begun. Do not let the enemy convince you that your past failures give him license. You have turned; your duty now is to attend upon the Lord without distraction, offering your household and your own heart as a living sacrifice. The virgin and the widow are called to single-minded devotion, but a wife in such a trial is no less summoned to cling to Christ. Let your manner of life be adorned with sobriety and constant prayer, as Anna served God in the temple. In this way, even if your husband remains hardened for a time, you will not be destroyed. The Church is a spiritual bath; bring your grief there, and let the medicines of repentance, confession, tears of contrition, almsgiving, and unfailing hope, cleanse and strengthen you.

For no sin is beyond the mercy of God if it is truly repented of. Manasses filled Jerusalem with blood and abominations, yet by repentance and consideration he washed it all away. There is no second laver, but the fountain of genuine penitence ever flows. Therefore, do not despair either for yourself or for him. Pray that he may end the affair, not with a temporary ceasing, but with the loathing that belongs to godly sorrow. And as you wait, remember that the righteous man condemns himself first. You have done so; keep your gaze fixed on the Physician of souls, and let no root of bitterness spring up in you.

 

[usha rani]

I prayed for this in Jesus Name.

 

[Silas]

It is heartbreaking to see a marriage of twenty-six years under such attack, and I grieve with you over the pain you are carrying. The vows you made before God were not for a season but for life, a covenant intended from the beginning, when God made them male and female, to be monogamous and unbroken. What your husband is pursuing is not some search for clarity; it is plain sin, a violation of the command that each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Adultery is not a matter of unfulfilled needs but of a heart that has turned away from God’s design.

Your own honesty about the past is commendable, but please understand that no amount of human effort to change can erase the deeper issue. The real problem is not simply that he cannot forgive you; the real problem is that he is now committing sin against God. All sin is ultimately against the Lord, for it is His law that is broken. The affair is not just a wound in your marriage; it is a rebellion against the One who said, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” And the path he is choosing, if he remains unrepentant, leads to spiritual and relational ruin.

But the same God who designed marriage for our good is the God who heals what is broken. I have often thought of how our Lord, moved with compassion, touched lepers and made them whole. A leper could only be cured by a direct act of God’s grace, and so it is with a hardened heart. We pray for healing of bodies, but how much more we need to pray for the healing of souls, for the forgiveness that brings real joy. David knew that relief when he wrote, “Oh how happy is the man whose transgression is forgiven.” That joy is available, but it comes only through repentance toward Jesus Christ. True belief is not just acknowledging God exists; it is a life-changing relationship with Him, a heart that is no longer divided by the cares of this world.

I would urge you to do your own soul-work in this trial. Let the Word of God be planted deep in your heart like a seed, carrying the power to shape you into Christ’s likeness even in the midst of sorrow. Do not let bitterness or despair choke it out. Continue to show what you have committed to, a changed life of love and faithfulness, but trust that only the Spirit can soften your husband’s heart. Pray that God would grant him repentance, that he would see the affair not as something to explore but as a chain that is binding him. Pray that the Holy Spirit would convict him of the sin that is far worse than any past neglect: his present rejection of God’s will.

I join you in asking the Lord to end this affair, to heal the wounds in your husband’s soul, and to turn his heart back toward his covenant home. But remember, the greatest need any of us have is not for a repaired circumstance but for salvation from the sin that separates us from God. Keep your own eyes fixed there, and entrust your suffering to the One whose love is stronger than any failure. He is able to do what no human persuasion can accomplish, to bring resurrection where everything seems dead. May you know the riches of His love sustaining you in these days.

 

[hostadmin]

We want to thank you for the privilege of standing with you in prayer during this incredibly painful season. Your courage in sharing such a deeply personal struggle has not gone unnoticed, and we have lifted you, your husband, and your children before the Lord daily. We have prayed specifically for healing in your marriage, asking God to mend the broken places and restore what has been lost. We’ve asked Him to soften your husband’s heart, to open his eyes to the truth of His love and the sanctity of your covenant, and to break the hold this affair has over him. We’ve also prayed for you—for strength to endure, for peace that surpasses understanding, and for the grace to continue walking in the changes you’ve committed to, even when it feels like they’re unseen.

If God has moved in your situation in ways you can see or feel, we would be overjoyed to hear a praise report from you. Your testimony could be a source of encouragement to others walking through similar valleys. If, however, the answer hasn’t yet come—or if the pain feels even heavier—please don’t hesitate to post this request again. We are here to stand with you, to intercede on your behalf, and to remind you that you are not alone. The enemy would love for you to feel isolated in this, but we serve a God who draws near to the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

May the Lord continue to meet you in your grief, to fill you with His hope, and to work powerfully in your husband’s heart. We pray that the Holy Spirit would convict him of sin, righteousness, and judgment, and that he would turn away from this path of destruction and run back into the arms of the marriage God designed for him. We ask all of this in the mighty and merciful name of Jesus. Amen.