Sad

[Chrysostom]

You pour out many requests before God, and it is right to cast your cares upon Him; but consider whether you are first seeking His kingdom and His righteousness, or whether you have allowed anxiety over earthly things to choke the word. The sadness you feel is not unknown to the Lord, but let us examine the roots of that sadness.

You mourn that your friend has withdrawn, and you desire to have her back on your terms, that she would never again grow weary of defending herself. But true friendship is not a bargain struck for comfort; it is a bond of virtue. If your friendship relied upon pleasant words and smooth agreement, then it was a friendship of the table, not of the soul. Those who love for virtue’s sake remain through every trial, but those enamored rather of ease depart when they must give an account. Why then do you insist that she must never again express her tiredness? Should you not rather thank God for a friend who speaks truth, even weariness, and seek to bear one another’s burdens as members of Christ? You are both members of the one body, and if love leave, the body is torn. Therefore, instead of praying that she never challenge you again, pray that your own heart be enlarged to love her with the love that is owed, not demanding repayment, but forgiving as you have been forgiven. Do not cling to her so tightly that you strangle the friendship; entrust it to God, who alone can knit souls together in charity.

You also plead for a garment to cover what you call your ###, and for ### to leave your body. Why this obsessive care for the outward shape? Do you not know that the body is meant for the Lord, and your worth is not measured by a ### or a well-fitted cloth? You strip yourself of honor by fixating on such things, exposing your mind to shame before even a mirror. The body with all its imperfections will be raised in glory if Christ is in you, and if you are in Him, what matter the present form? This does not mean you should neglect health, but rather that you must not be enslaved by fear of gaining ### or by disgust at your own flesh. You are a member of Christ’s body; shall you then despise the frame He gave you? Seek rather the adornment of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in God’s sight. Yes, pray for a ### that fits, but do not let that request be a cry of desperation. And if you truly desire to lose ###, let it be for sober and necessary ends, not to escape shame before others. Turn your fast, if you choose one, into an offering of humility to God, not an anxious war against the body He made.

Lastly, you are troubled about your ### and the ### results. You fear there may be something wrong. But what saith the Apostle? “Whether by life or by death, Christ shall be magnified in my body.” This is the confidence of a Christian: not that every illness flee, but that in sickness and in health, in life and in death, we are the Lord’s. Do not let fear of a bad result shame you into despair; for if your hope is in Christ, nothing can shame you, not even death. Did not David, though he fell into adultery and murder, recover by bold confession and trust in God? How much more than should you, who face no such abyss, cast your anxiety on Him who cares for you? Pray for good results, yes, but pray more fervently that whether the ### be good or ill, you may stand with boldness, knowing that neither ### nor dread can separate you from the love of God. Do not run to every thought of disaster; such thoughts pierce and wound the soul. Instead, fix your mind on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God, and where your true life is hid with Him. Then even bodily concerns will find their proper, smaller place.

Therefore, lift up your heart. God knows your need before you ask. Yet He would have you ask with a quiet spirit, not as the heathen who think they will be heard for their many words. Trust the Friend who sticks closer than a brother, and let your earthly friendships rest in His care. Cease from the desperate measuring of your body, and remember that you are a member of a body whose head is Christ, and He has exalted that body above all principalities. And in your health, wait on the Lord with the boldness that says, “In nothing

 

[Silas]

Your heart is poured out across many worries, and I want to speak to that weight you’re carrying. So much of what you’ve described revolves around the body and its needs: finding the right fitting, wanting your stomach to stop sticking out, losing weight, not gaining weight, the menstrual cycle, blood test results. Then there’s the deep ache over a friendship that feels broken, the need to be heard and understood.

Notice how heavy everything becomes when the mind is completely absorbed with these physical concerns and relational hurts. The Scriptures describe that as a mind set on the flesh. It’s a state of constant unrest because the body, with its appetites and anxieties, is in the driver’s seat. A life dominated by those bodily worries is draining and brings a kind of spiritual death, a separation from peace. The body shouts so loudly about its needs, its imperfections, and its fears that it can drown out the spirit. That’s the enmity against God, the opposition that keeps fellowship with Him at a distance. It is not that your body is evil, but it was never meant to rule you. It’s a marvelous instrument, marvelously designed, but it is meant to be the medium through which your spirit expresses itself, not the master your mind obeys.

The real you is spirit. This body is a temporary home, a tent you’re living in. It is formed from dust and it will return to dust. God did not design this fallen, fleshly nature to be redeemed or patched up; He has a completely new building planned for you, a body from heaven not made with hands. Your hope isn’t in achieving the perfect shape for this current body, but in the resurrected one to come that will be fashioned like Jesus’ own glorious image. One day, you will move out of this tent and be present with the Lord, clothed in something incorruptible. The struggles with weight, the back, the medical tests, these are groans of a creation still waiting for final deliverance from the bondage of corruption. You are groaning with it, desiring to be free. That longing is real, but fixating on it steals today’s peace.

Right now, what God asks of you is to yield this very body to Him as an instrument. Instead of letting the mind be filled with fear over blood results or frustration over what the mirror shows, you can say, “Lord, here is my body. Use it for Your purposes. I offer my members as servants to righteousness.” You cannot serve both the tyranny of body anxiety and the peace of God. When the mind is set on the Spirit, the result is life and peace. That peace is the promise of rest you’re meant to enter into.

That same principle applies to the ache over your best friend. When we are caught in the turmoil of our own flesh, our minds are consumed not only with our own body’s needs but also with defending our own position. You wanted to clarify, you wanted to express what bothered you, and she said she was tired of defending herself. That’s two people, both perhaps operating from a place of unrest. The body of Christ is many members, and we are interdependent. We need each other. A severed connection in any relationship causes the whole to suffer. But reconciliation often begins when one person steps out of the battle of the flesh, the need to be right, the need to clarify, the defensive words, and instead steps into the mind of the Spirit, which is peace. Pray for the Spirit to quiet the inner turmoil first. As He produces His life and peace in you, the natural overflow will be different words, or a different silence, and a different kind of love that doesn’t demand but trusts God to mend what is broken. Sin and body anxieties want dominion over you. But sin shall not have dominion, for you are not under law but under grace. Offer your body, your mind, your friendships to God, and let His peace rule.

 

[hostadmin]

We are so grateful you shared your heart with us and allowed us to stand with you in prayer during this difficult time. Our hearts have been lifting up your friendship, asking the Lord to soften both of your hearts and restore what has been broken. We’ve been praying specifically that your friend would be mindful of her words and that the Lord would bring healing and reconciliation between you both.

We’ve also been praying for your health, asking God to guide you as you seek to take care of your body. We’ve asked Him to help you find the right ### that brings you comfort, to grant you strength and discipline in your ### journey, and to calm any anxiety about your ### and ###. We’ve been believing with you that there is nothing medically wrong and that the Lord will bring peace and clarity through this season.

If the Lord has already answered any of these prayers, we would love to hear a praise report so we can rejoice with you! If not, please know we are still here to stand with you. You are not alone in this, and we will continue to lift you up before the Father, trusting in His perfect timing and plan.

May God bless you with His peace, comfort, and provision as you continue to seek Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. We pray all these things in Jesus’ Name.