Silas
Beloved of All
Your request has been heard with prayerful care, and I join you in bringing your marriage, your husband, and your own walk with God before the Lord.
God's design for marriage from the beginning is clear in Scripture. He made them male and female and joined them in a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman. That covenant is meant to be monogamous and for life, and within it husband and wife are called to show kindness and care to one another, to honor one another with their bodies, and not to withhold themselves except by mutual agreement for a time given to prayer. The Lord's teaching is to not separate what He has joined. If a separation does occur, the call is to remain unmarried or to be reconciled, and the husband is not to send his wife away. When one spouse does not yet believe, and that spouse is willing to remain, the believing spouse is not to leave. The presence of faith in the home has a sanctifying influence, and God can use it for good in the family.
That is why your desire to stand for your marriage and to pray for your husband's return to God is right and good. I am praying with you that God would humble his heart, soften what has become hard, and open his eyes and ears to the truth. The lies that tell him you are his enemy, that he must choose between sobriety and marriage and happiness, are not from God. Praying that those deceptions would be rebuked and removed and that he would see clearly is praying according to truth. In Christ he can have sobriety and a restored marriage and real joy, but that requires courage to face the issues that have wounded you both for so long. I pray God gives him that courage and draws him to full repentance and renewed faith in Jesus, who alone saves.
Scripture also speaks to the believing spouse in a difficult marriage, that a husband who does not yet obey the word may be won without a word by the conduct of his wife, by a life that is gentle, respectful, and rooted in Christ. This does not mean one spouse alone can make a marriage whole. A healthy marriage needs both. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife is called to respect and support her husband as unto the Lord. When one shows love and the other shows respect, each makes the other's calling easier, but when either withholds love or respect the home suffers. As you stand in this hard season, continue to cultivate that Christlike character, speaking to yourself in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Worship keeps the heart tender toward God when circumstances are harsh.
I also pray for you as you asked, for endurance, wisdom, and discernment as your own faith is reclaimed and strengthened. True faith is not passive, saying only that God could do something someday. Active faith trusts that God is present and able to act now, and it endures because it sees Him who is invisible. That kind of faith always shows itself in action. Faith without works is not living faith, for genuine faith produces obedience and love in daily life. So as you ask God to grow your faith without doubt, ask Him also to show you the faithful steps He wants you to take each day, steps of prayer, of truthful and gracious speech, of wise boundaries, of seeking counsel, and of love that does what is right.
May the Lord grant you strength to stand with unwavering trust, to entertain no doubt that He hears and is at work, while also giving you wisdom to walk in a way that honors Him. May He grant your husband a heart that turns fully back to God and to the covenant he made before God, with eyes opened and lies exposed, and may He bring reconciliation where there has been division.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I lift this marriage to You. Soften his heart, remove the scales from his eyes, expose every lie and let him see the truth, that his wife is not his enemy and that You offer him wholeness, sobriety, and joy in the path of obedience. Give her endurance for this harrowing season, increase her faith, grant her wisdom and discernment, and help her to live out an active faith that is seen in love and truth. Do Your restoring work for Your glory. Amen.
God's design for marriage from the beginning is clear in Scripture. He made them male and female and joined them in a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman. That covenant is meant to be monogamous and for life, and within it husband and wife are called to show kindness and care to one another, to honor one another with their bodies, and not to withhold themselves except by mutual agreement for a time given to prayer. The Lord's teaching is to not separate what He has joined. If a separation does occur, the call is to remain unmarried or to be reconciled, and the husband is not to send his wife away. When one spouse does not yet believe, and that spouse is willing to remain, the believing spouse is not to leave. The presence of faith in the home has a sanctifying influence, and God can use it for good in the family.
That is why your desire to stand for your marriage and to pray for your husband's return to God is right and good. I am praying with you that God would humble his heart, soften what has become hard, and open his eyes and ears to the truth. The lies that tell him you are his enemy, that he must choose between sobriety and marriage and happiness, are not from God. Praying that those deceptions would be rebuked and removed and that he would see clearly is praying according to truth. In Christ he can have sobriety and a restored marriage and real joy, but that requires courage to face the issues that have wounded you both for so long. I pray God gives him that courage and draws him to full repentance and renewed faith in Jesus, who alone saves.
Scripture also speaks to the believing spouse in a difficult marriage, that a husband who does not yet obey the word may be won without a word by the conduct of his wife, by a life that is gentle, respectful, and rooted in Christ. This does not mean one spouse alone can make a marriage whole. A healthy marriage needs both. The husband is called to love his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife is called to respect and support her husband as unto the Lord. When one shows love and the other shows respect, each makes the other's calling easier, but when either withholds love or respect the home suffers. As you stand in this hard season, continue to cultivate that Christlike character, speaking to yourself in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs and making melody in your heart to the Lord. Worship keeps the heart tender toward God when circumstances are harsh.
I also pray for you as you asked, for endurance, wisdom, and discernment as your own faith is reclaimed and strengthened. True faith is not passive, saying only that God could do something someday. Active faith trusts that God is present and able to act now, and it endures because it sees Him who is invisible. That kind of faith always shows itself in action. Faith without works is not living faith, for genuine faith produces obedience and love in daily life. So as you ask God to grow your faith without doubt, ask Him also to show you the faithful steps He wants you to take each day, steps of prayer, of truthful and gracious speech, of wise boundaries, of seeking counsel, and of love that does what is right.
May the Lord grant you strength to stand with unwavering trust, to entertain no doubt that He hears and is at work, while also giving you wisdom to walk in a way that honors Him. May He grant your husband a heart that turns fully back to God and to the covenant he made before God, with eyes opened and lies exposed, and may He bring reconciliation where there has been division.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I lift this marriage to You. Soften his heart, remove the scales from his eyes, expose every lie and let him see the truth, that his wife is not his enemy and that You offer him wholeness, sobriety, and joy in the path of obedience. Give her endurance for this harrowing season, increase her faith, grant her wisdom and discernment, and help her to live out an active faith that is seen in love and truth. Do Your restoring work for Your glory. Amen.
