We hear the deep pain and anger in your words, and we want you to know that your hurt is not unseen. The feelings of abandonment, confusion, and frustration you’re expressing are real, and we take them seriously. It’s clear you’re wrestling with some of the hardest questions about God’s character, His presence, and His love—and these are not small or trivial matters. We want to meet you in this place of struggle with honesty, compassion, and the truth of Scripture.
First, let’s acknowledge that your questions are not out of bounds. The Bible itself is full of people who cried out to God in their pain, asking *why* and *where are You?* The Psalms are filled with raw, unfiltered emotions—doubt, anger, despair—poured out before God. In Psalm 13:1-2, David cries, *"How long, Yahweh? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart every day?"* Even Jesus, on the cross, quoted Psalm 22:1, saying, *"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"* God does not shy away from our honest questions. He can handle them. What He *does* ask is that we bring them to Him, not turn away from Him in bitterness.
You’re asking if God is selfish or self-centered because He gives commands and expects obedience. But let’s consider this: If God is truly God—holy, perfect, and the Creator of all things—then His commands are not arbitrary rules for the sake of control. They are boundaries designed for our good, like a loving parent setting guidelines for a child’s safety and flourishing. In Deuteronomy 6:24, God says, *"Yahweh commanded us to do all these statutes, to fear Yahweh our God, for our good always, that he might preserve us alive, as we are today."* His laws reflect His nature, and His nature is love (1 John 4:8). The problem isn’t that God’s standards are too high; the problem is that *we* are broken, sinful, and unable to meet them on our own. That’s why Jesus came—not to abolish the law, but to fulfill it (Matthew 5:17) and offer us grace when we fall short.
You’re also expressing frustration that God doesn’t "show up" in the way you want Him to. It’s true that God often works in ways we don’t expect or understand. He doesn’t always remove the pain, but He promises to be *with us* in it. Isaiah 43:2 says, *"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, and the flame will not scorch you."* God’s presence isn’t always felt in the way we want, but He is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18). Sometimes, His silence is an invitation to trust Him even when we can’t see Him. Other times, His apparent absence is a call to examine whether we’re truly seeking Him or just demanding that He meet our expectations.
You mentioned Ezekiel 35:13-15, where God rebukes those who speak against Him. It’s important to note that this passage is directed at those who *defiantly* reject God, not those who are honestly wrestling with Him. There’s a difference between questioning God in faith and hardening your heart against Him. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, *"Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."* Trust doesn’t mean blind loyalty; it means bringing our doubts to Him and asking Him to reveal Himself to us.
Now, let’s address the heart of your struggle: the feeling that God’s love is a lie because He hasn’t met you in your despair. This is where we must confront a hard truth. God *has* shown up. He showed up in the most profound way possible—by sending His Son, Jesus Christ, to live among us, suffer with us, and die for us. John 3:16 says, *"For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life."* Jesus didn’t just *say* He loves you; He *proved* it by taking the punishment for your sins on the cross. He didn’t stay distant; He entered into our pain. And He didn’t leave us alone—He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell within us (John 14:16-17). The issue isn’t that God hasn’t shown up; the issue is that we often look for Him in the wrong places or demand that He meet us on our terms.
You also expressed frustration with the idea of faith being "proof of what is not seen" (Hebrews 11:1). Faith isn’t about blindly believing in something with no evidence. It’s about trusting in what God has already revealed—His character, His promises, and His Son. The evidence of God’s love is all around us: in creation (Romans 1:20), in the transformed lives of believers, in the historical reality of Jesus’ resurrection, and in the personal testimonies of those who have encountered Him. But faith also requires humility—the willingness to admit that we don’t have all the answers and that God’s ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9).
We want to gently but firmly rebuke the idea that God is "jacking with people who are in despair." That’s not the heart of our Heavenly Father. 1 Peter 5:7 says, *"Casting all your worries on him, because he cares for you."* God’s love is not a lie, but it *is* a love that often works in ways we don’t understand. His silence doesn’t mean He doesn’t care; it may mean He’s working in ways we can’t yet see. His apparent absence may be an invitation to draw closer to Him, not push Him away.
Let’s pray together now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother who is in deep pain and despair. Lord, we confess that we don’t always understand Your ways, and we don’t always feel Your presence when we need it most. But we also confess that You are good, You are loving, and You are near to the brokenhearted. Father, we ask that You would meet him in this place of struggle. Reveal Yourself to him in a way that he cannot deny. Soften his heart to receive Your love, even when it doesn’t look the way he expects. Help him to see that You have already shown up in the person of Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for him so that he could have eternal life.
Lord, we rebuke the lies that say You are distant, uncaring, or selfish. Your Word says that You are love, and Your actions prove it. Help our brother to see the evidence of Your love in creation, in Scripture, and in the lives of those who follow You. Give him the faith to trust You even when he doesn’t understand. Remind him that You are not a God who demands blind loyalty, but a God who invites honest questions and offers real answers.
Father, we also ask that You would heal the wounds in his heart that have led to this anger and despair. Bring people into his life who can walk with him, pray with him, and point him to You. Help him to see that You are not the author of his pain, but the One who can redeem it. Give him the strength to bring his doubts and fears to You, knowing that You can handle them.
And Lord, if he has not yet placed his trust in Jesus Christ, we pray that You would open his eyes to the truth of the Gospel. Help him to see that salvation is found in no one else but You (Acts 4:12). Draw him to Yourself, and let him experience the peace that comes from knowing You.
We ask all of this in the powerful name of Jesus Christ, the One who suffered and died so that we could be reconciled to You. Amen.
We want to leave you with this encouragement: God’s love for you is not dependent on your feelings or circumstances. It is a love that was demonstrated on the cross, where Jesus took the punishment you deserved so that you could have a relationship with God. That love is real, and it is available to you right now. You don’t have to have all the answers to come to Him. You just have to come, as you are, with your questions, your pain, and your doubts. He is waiting for you with open arms.
