Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so honestly what you are carrying. Hearing that you feel weighed down by severe depression and by a fear that feels like a spirit of death is heavy, and it is right to bring it before the Lord and before others who can pray with you.
The Bible speaks directly to this kind of fear and heaviness. Apart from Christ we are without hope and without God in the world, and that is a tragic place to live. But God has given us a living hope through Jesus Christ, a hope that is built on His Word and His promises. The psalmist prayed, remember the word to your servant, upon which you have caused me to hope, and he found that the Word was not only hope but comfort in affliction. When hope feels gone and the future looks dark, God invites you to anchor your heart again in what He has said, because His Word does not change even when feelings do.
Scripture also speaks to the fear of death. David wrote, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. The answer to fear is the conscious presence of God with you. You have not been given a spirit that puts you back into bondage to fear, but the Spirit of adoption by which you can cry, Abba, Father. Jesus Himself took on flesh and blood so that through His death He might destroy the one who had the power of death, that is the devil, and deliver those who through fear of death were held in bondage all their lives. The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin was in the law, but God has satisfied that law through the death of Jesus and gives us victory through Him. So we can say, O death, where is your sting, O grave, where is your victory, thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. That does not mean you will never feel afraid, but it means fear does not have to rule you, because Jesus has already conquered what you fear and He is with you in the valley.
In severe depression it is important to stay close to Jesus and to stay in His Word, and also to let trusted, godly people walk with you. Keep bringing your heart honestly to God in prayer, feed daily on Scripture even in small portions, and reach out for help from mature believers and, if needed, from a counselor or medical professional who shares your faith. God often uses both His Word and His people to bring comfort and strength, and severe trials are not meaningless or capricious. God can use them to shape and prepare you for the good work He has for you.
You also mentioned wanting to grow closer to a man you have been talking to and wanting conversation to flow better. God cares about this area of your life and wants what is good and holy for you. His design for closeness between a man and a woman is fulfilled in the lifelong covenant of marriage, and He calls His people to pursue relationships with purity, wisdom and self control, keeping physical intimacy and living together within marriage alone. Rather than simply asking God to make a relationship closer or smoother, ask Him for clarity, for wisdom to see this person as He sees him, and for grace to honor Him in how you speak and act. Pray that your conversations would be honest, kind and truthful, and that both of you would seek the Lord first. If this is a relationship that could move toward marriage, pursue it openly, patiently and with accountability. If it is not leading toward that godly commitment, ask God for the strength to step back and trust His better plan.
I will pray for you. Father, I lift this dear one to you in the name of Jesus. You see the weight of depression and the fear that has pressed so hard. Fill this heart with your hope, your joy and your peace as trust is placed in you. Let your Word become hope and comfort day by day. Make your presence known, so that fear is dispelled and the knowledge that you are with them brings rest. Thank you that Jesus has destroyed the power of death and delivers from bondage to fear, and that through His death the righteous demand of the law has been satisfied and we are reconciled to you. Give victory, give a living hope, and guard this life. Give wisdom also in this relationship. Lead according to your will, help conversation to be honest and edifying, and guide both lives toward purity and toward what pleases you. Draw this heart ever closer to Jesus, who alone is our salvation and our hope. Amen.
The Bible speaks directly to this kind of fear and heaviness. Apart from Christ we are without hope and without God in the world, and that is a tragic place to live. But God has given us a living hope through Jesus Christ, a hope that is built on His Word and His promises. The psalmist prayed, remember the word to your servant, upon which you have caused me to hope, and he found that the Word was not only hope but comfort in affliction. When hope feels gone and the future looks dark, God invites you to anchor your heart again in what He has said, because His Word does not change even when feelings do.
Scripture also speaks to the fear of death. David wrote, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me. The answer to fear is the conscious presence of God with you. You have not been given a spirit that puts you back into bondage to fear, but the Spirit of adoption by which you can cry, Abba, Father. Jesus Himself took on flesh and blood so that through His death He might destroy the one who had the power of death, that is the devil, and deliver those who through fear of death were held in bondage all their lives. The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin was in the law, but God has satisfied that law through the death of Jesus and gives us victory through Him. So we can say, O death, where is your sting, O grave, where is your victory, thanks be to God who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. That does not mean you will never feel afraid, but it means fear does not have to rule you, because Jesus has already conquered what you fear and He is with you in the valley.
In severe depression it is important to stay close to Jesus and to stay in His Word, and also to let trusted, godly people walk with you. Keep bringing your heart honestly to God in prayer, feed daily on Scripture even in small portions, and reach out for help from mature believers and, if needed, from a counselor or medical professional who shares your faith. God often uses both His Word and His people to bring comfort and strength, and severe trials are not meaningless or capricious. God can use them to shape and prepare you for the good work He has for you.
You also mentioned wanting to grow closer to a man you have been talking to and wanting conversation to flow better. God cares about this area of your life and wants what is good and holy for you. His design for closeness between a man and a woman is fulfilled in the lifelong covenant of marriage, and He calls His people to pursue relationships with purity, wisdom and self control, keeping physical intimacy and living together within marriage alone. Rather than simply asking God to make a relationship closer or smoother, ask Him for clarity, for wisdom to see this person as He sees him, and for grace to honor Him in how you speak and act. Pray that your conversations would be honest, kind and truthful, and that both of you would seek the Lord first. If this is a relationship that could move toward marriage, pursue it openly, patiently and with accountability. If it is not leading toward that godly commitment, ask God for the strength to step back and trust His better plan.
I will pray for you. Father, I lift this dear one to you in the name of Jesus. You see the weight of depression and the fear that has pressed so hard. Fill this heart with your hope, your joy and your peace as trust is placed in you. Let your Word become hope and comfort day by day. Make your presence known, so that fear is dispelled and the knowledge that you are with them brings rest. Thank you that Jesus has destroyed the power of death and delivers from bondage to fear, and that through His death the righteous demand of the law has been satisfied and we are reconciled to you. Give victory, give a living hope, and guard this life. Give wisdom also in this relationship. Lead according to your will, help conversation to be honest and edifying, and guide both lives toward purity and toward what pleases you. Draw this heart ever closer to Jesus, who alone is our salvation and our hope. Amen.
