Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing your heart so openly and for beginning with thanksgiving to God for this day, for your life, for your children and family, and for your prayer for the peace of Jerusalem. It is good to give thanks and to bring every care to the Lord Jesus, who alone is our merciful and faithful High Priest and who had compassion on us when we were lost and made reconciliation for our sins.
I hear how heavy and torn you feel right now. You describe being on the edge of divorce from your husband, not wanting to remain married to him and yet not wanting a divorce because of hurt, anger, and fear about what will happen to your home and what you have built together. At the same time you speak of deep longing for another man, wanting God to put love in him for you and in you for him, wanting him to open his heart, and wanting other women sent away so he will be yours. You also mention daily messages to him and a desire to prove your love after his past hurts.
Because I care for you, I want to respond with both truth and kindness as Scripture teaches. God offers salvation through Jesus Christ alone, and marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with sexual intimacy and living together belonging within that covenant. While you are still married, to pursue or ask God to bless a romantic relationship with another man is not a path God can affirm. I cannot pray that God will make someone love you, force his heart toward you, or remove other people to secure that relationship, because love must be freely given and God does not work through control or possessiveness.
Scripture also warns that jealousy and possessive passion trouble the soul and keep it from peace. The longing to hold on, to be chosen, and to keep others away can become a heavy burden. True love, as God shows it, is patient and looks to the good of the other, not to gaining control. If this man has said he is afraid because of past hurt and has not welcomed this closeness, the loving step is to respect his boundaries and to give space, rather than continuing daily pursuit. That will also protect your own heart from further pain.
For your marriage, God calls us to honor the covenant we have made. If there is anger, hate, or harm, please seek wise and safe help right away from a trusted pastor and a biblical counselor, and also seek sound legal counsel about questions of property and provision for you and your children so decisions are made fairly and honestly. If you are feeling unsafe at any time, reach out for immediate help from family, church leaders, or local support services. Do not make choices out of fear of loss or a desire to claim what is yours in a way that hardens your heart. Ask God instead to fill you with His love and to help you act with honesty, grace, and self control.
God does hear your prayers for your children, your family, and for the peace of Jerusalem, and He invites you to keep bringing those needs to Him. He also hears your loneliness and desire to be loved. The deepest comfort is not found in whether a particular person returns your feelings, but in knowing Christ more fully and being made whole in His will. My prayer for you is not that God would arrange a relationship outside His design, but that He would draw you close to Jesus, heal your heart, calm jealousy and fear, and give you wisdom for each next step.
Let me pray for you in that way now.
Father, thank You for this dear one and for her thankfulness for life and family. Thank You for Your mercy in Christ Jesus, who brings forgiveness and reconciliation. I pray You would deepen her faith in Jesus alone and fill her heart, soul, and mind with Your love and peace. Give her wisdom and godly counsel for her marriage, clarity about divorce and provision, and protection from bitterness and hate. Work in the heart of her husband as well, softening what is hard and leading both toward what is right and honoring to You. Help her to release control of the other man she mentioned into Your hands, to respect boundaries, to turn away from jealousy and possessive striving, and to rest in Your care for her future. Guard her children and family, provide for their needs, and bring the peace of Jerusalem and Your peace to her own home. Lead her in paths of purity, honesty, and love that reflect Your character, and help her to stand perfect and assured in all Your will. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
If you do not already have support close by, please reach out to a faithful pastor or counselor in your church who can walk with you personally, listen well, and help you apply Scripture to these difficult decisions with care and accountability.
I hear how heavy and torn you feel right now. You describe being on the edge of divorce from your husband, not wanting to remain married to him and yet not wanting a divorce because of hurt, anger, and fear about what will happen to your home and what you have built together. At the same time you speak of deep longing for another man, wanting God to put love in him for you and in you for him, wanting him to open his heart, and wanting other women sent away so he will be yours. You also mention daily messages to him and a desire to prove your love after his past hurts.
Because I care for you, I want to respond with both truth and kindness as Scripture teaches. God offers salvation through Jesus Christ alone, and marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, with sexual intimacy and living together belonging within that covenant. While you are still married, to pursue or ask God to bless a romantic relationship with another man is not a path God can affirm. I cannot pray that God will make someone love you, force his heart toward you, or remove other people to secure that relationship, because love must be freely given and God does not work through control or possessiveness.
Scripture also warns that jealousy and possessive passion trouble the soul and keep it from peace. The longing to hold on, to be chosen, and to keep others away can become a heavy burden. True love, as God shows it, is patient and looks to the good of the other, not to gaining control. If this man has said he is afraid because of past hurt and has not welcomed this closeness, the loving step is to respect his boundaries and to give space, rather than continuing daily pursuit. That will also protect your own heart from further pain.
For your marriage, God calls us to honor the covenant we have made. If there is anger, hate, or harm, please seek wise and safe help right away from a trusted pastor and a biblical counselor, and also seek sound legal counsel about questions of property and provision for you and your children so decisions are made fairly and honestly. If you are feeling unsafe at any time, reach out for immediate help from family, church leaders, or local support services. Do not make choices out of fear of loss or a desire to claim what is yours in a way that hardens your heart. Ask God instead to fill you with His love and to help you act with honesty, grace, and self control.
God does hear your prayers for your children, your family, and for the peace of Jerusalem, and He invites you to keep bringing those needs to Him. He also hears your loneliness and desire to be loved. The deepest comfort is not found in whether a particular person returns your feelings, but in knowing Christ more fully and being made whole in His will. My prayer for you is not that God would arrange a relationship outside His design, but that He would draw you close to Jesus, heal your heart, calm jealousy and fear, and give you wisdom for each next step.
Let me pray for you in that way now.
Father, thank You for this dear one and for her thankfulness for life and family. Thank You for Your mercy in Christ Jesus, who brings forgiveness and reconciliation. I pray You would deepen her faith in Jesus alone and fill her heart, soul, and mind with Your love and peace. Give her wisdom and godly counsel for her marriage, clarity about divorce and provision, and protection from bitterness and hate. Work in the heart of her husband as well, softening what is hard and leading both toward what is right and honoring to You. Help her to release control of the other man she mentioned into Your hands, to respect boundaries, to turn away from jealousy and possessive striving, and to rest in Your care for her future. Guard her children and family, provide for their needs, and bring the peace of Jerusalem and Your peace to her own home. Lead her in paths of purity, honesty, and love that reflect Your character, and help her to stand perfect and assured in all Your will. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
If you do not already have support close by, please reach out to a faithful pastor or counselor in your church who can walk with you personally, listen well, and help you apply Scripture to these difficult decisions with care and accountability.
