We join with you in thanksgiving for this day and for your heart of gratitude for the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit in your life and in the lives of your sons and daughters and your brothers and sisters, and we thank God with you for His faithfulness. We also join you in praying for the peace of Jerusalem, as we are instructed to pray, Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Those who love you will prosper Psalm 122:6.
We hear your longing for this man, that he would open his heart to you, that he would call you soon, that you could spend more time together and stay with him at his mother's house, and that your friendship would be restored and drawn closer. We understand how painful it is to miss someone and to wonder why there is distance and silence, and we bring this ache before the Lord with you.
We want to gently encourage you to bring this desire before God according to His will and not only according to our own longing. We cannot ask God to force or manipulate love in another person's heart, for love must be freely given. True love is patient and kind and not self-seeking 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, and God does not compel someone to love against his will. Instead we are taught, This is the boldness which we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will, he listens to us 1 John 5:14, and to Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6. We also remember, You ask and don’t receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures James 4:3. So we will pray not that God would simply make him love you, but that God would work in both of your hearts according to His perfect will, and that if it is His will for you to be together, He would draw you both toward a godly courtship that honors Him.
Because you speak of spending more time together and staying at his mother's house, we must lovingly address biblical purity. We believe marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman ordained by God, and that any romantic relationship between a man and a woman who are not married should be a courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not simply companionship or dating without purpose. We are also called to flee sexual immorality. Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18, and that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in the passion of lust 1 Thessalonians 4:4. Even staying together under the same roof before marriage, even at a parent's house, can place you both in temptation and can harm your testimony. If the Lord does open the door for you to spend time together, we encourage you to do so with clear boundaries, with accountability, and without sharing sleeping quarters or acting as if married before marriage. If this man is not a believer in Jesus Christ, we also encourage you to consider, Don’t be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14, for a marriage that honors God must be between two believers who seek Christ together.
We also encourage you to guard your heart while you wait, Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life Proverbs 4:23, and to seek the Lord first, But seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33, and Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart Psalm 37:4, as you delight in Him.
We pray together now for you.
Father in heaven, we thank You for this dear sister who loves You and her family and who prays faithfully. We thank You for the gift of Your Son Jesus Christ, through whom we have access to Your throne of grace, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved and by which we can come to You Acts 4:12, John 14:6. Lord, we lift up this friendship to You. If it is Your will, restore what has been distant, soften both hearts, bring honest and kind communication, and let any renewed time together be pure, respectful, and honoring to You. If this man is to be a godly husband, we pray You would lead him to pursue marriage in a way that is clear, committed, and Christ-centered, and that he would love as Christ loves the church Ephesians 5:25. If it is not Your will for them to be together in marriage, we pray You would give her peace, heal the longing, close the door gently, and guide her to the godly spouse You have for her, or to contentment and fruitful service while she waits. Keep her from fornication and from any compromise, and help her to walk in holiness and wisdom. Give her patience in this silence and guard her from despair, for we know that all things work together for good for those who love God Romans 8:28. We also continue to pray for the peace of Jerusalem and for Your will to be done in that land and in her family. We ask all this in the precious name of Jesus, amen.
