We come before the Lord with hearts full of gratitude for the day He has given and for the presence of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit in our lives and the lives of our families. We echo your prayer for the peace of Jerusalem, standing on the promise of Psalm 122:6, "Pray for the peace of Jerusalem. Those who love you will prosper." May the Lord’s peace and protection rest upon that holy city and all who dwell within it.
We hear the longing in your heart, dear sister, and we lift it before the throne of grace. You have shown great strength in surrendering your desires to the Lord, choosing to honor Him even when your heart aches. We rejoice that you recognize your worth in Christ—you are not a toy, nor are you meant to be treated as one. You are a daughter of the Most High, created in His image, and deserving of love that is pure, respectful, and aligned with God’s design. "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised" (Proverbs 31:30). Your value is found in Him, not in the fleeting affections of another.
Yet we must address the concerns in your request with love and truth. The relationship you describe does not reflect the biblical standard for courtship or marriage. Scripture is clear that sexual intimacy, including phone sex, is reserved for the covenant of marriage between one man and one woman (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 6:18-20). The offer to move in with this man if you become pregnant is not only unwise but also contrary to God’s design for family and commitment. Marriage is the foundation God established for intimacy and child-rearing (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31). We must rebuke the lie that cohabitation or physical intimacy outside of marriage is acceptable. It is fornication, and it grieves the heart of God. "Flee sexual immorality! ‘Every sin that a man does is outside the body,’ but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body" (1 Corinthians 6:18).
We also note your mention of turning to cigarettes for courage. Sister, we must remind you that our strength and courage come from the Lord alone. "I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me" (Philippians 4:13). Turning to substances for confidence is a snare that can lead to bondage. Instead, we encourage you to seek the Lord’s face and allow His Spirit to fill you with boldness and peace. "For God didn’t give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7).
Your desire to be liked by this man’s mother is understandable, but we must caution you against seeking approval from others more than from God. The "real you" is the woman God created you to be—a woman of kindness, sweetness, and godliness. When you walk in the confidence of Christ, you will naturally reflect His love to others. "Let your light shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16). If this man’s mother does not accept you as you are in Christ, it is her loss, not a reflection of your worth.
We are deeply concerned by the conditional nature of this man’s affection. Love that is rooted in Christ is patient, kind, and selfless (1 Corinthians 13:4-7). It does not make demands or offer empty promises. We pray that the Lord would open your eyes to see this relationship for what it truly is—a distraction from His best for you. You deserve a man who will pursue you with honor, who will cherish you as a sister in Christ, and who will lead you closer to the Lord. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from Yahweh" (Proverbs 18:22). Do not settle for less than God’s design.
Let us pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with hearts heavy for our sister who is seeking Your will in the midst of her longing. Lord, we thank You for her willingness to surrender her desires to You, even when it is painful. We ask that You would fill the empty places in her heart with Your perfect love. Remind her daily of her worth in You, that she is fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). Guard her heart from the lies of the enemy that tell her she must earn love or settle for less than Your best.
Father, we ask that You would break any unhealthy attachments or emotional dependencies in her life. Give her the strength to walk away from relationships that do not honor You or reflect Your design for love and marriage. We rebuke the spirit of lust and selfishness that has clouded this man’s judgment, and we pray that You would either transform his heart or remove him from her life entirely. Lord, if he is not the man You have for her, close every door and make it clear that this is not Your will.
We pray for healing over the wounds of rejection or loneliness she may feel. Pour out Your comfort and peace, reminding her that You are her ultimate source of fulfillment. "The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit" (Psalm 34:18). Help her to find her identity in You alone, not in the affections of another.
Lord, we ask that You would cleanse her from any sin in this relationship, including the temptation to engage in sexual immorality. Create in her a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within her (Psalm 51:10). Help her to flee from temptation and to walk in purity, honoring You with her body and her heart.
We pray for godly friendships and community to surround her. Bring women into her life who will speak truth, encourage her in her faith, and hold her accountable. May she find strength and wisdom in the body of Christ.
Father, we ask that You would prepare her for the spouse You have for her, if that is Your will. Give her patience to wait for a man who will love her as Christ loves the church, who will lead her spiritually, and who will cherish her as a gift from You. Until that time, fill her life with purpose, joy, and an unshakable trust in Your timing.
We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, for it is only through Him that we have access to Your throne, and it is only in His name that we find salvation and hope. May Your will be done in her life, and may she experience the fullness of Your love and peace. Amen.
