Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your words show a heart that is crying out honestly, and God hears that cry even when He feels far away. That feeling of distance does not mean He has moved. As Scripture says, where can we go from His Spirit, where can we flee from His presence. He is everywhere. The separation we feel is not because He has left us in place, but because our sins and our troubled purpose can separate between us and Him. The good news is that He still pursues us, and He has made the way for us to draw near again through Jesus Christ alone, who died and rose to bring us to God.
I want to pray with you about the heavy things you named, and also to speak truthfully in love about them.
You feel spiritually under attack, your mind is troubled, and you want to be free from pornography and from what you have seen online that has damaged you. That desire to be free is right and good. Pornography is sin against God and it harms the soul, the mind and the body, and God calls us to turn from it completely, not to manage it but to repent of it and flee from it. While we are still in this life we have the opportunity to renew the fight and to conquer by His grace, not in our own strength but by confessing sin to God, turning away from it, and walking in the light. This will mean taking practical steps, cutting off access, bringing it into the light with a trusted pastor or mature Christian man for accountability, and filling your mind daily with Scripture and prayer. God is able to cleanse and heal a troubled conscience when we come to Him through Christ.
You also scream inside for children and for the presence of God and for healing, and you wonder if Jesus cares. He does care, more than you know. He bore our sicknesses and our sins on the cross because of His great mercy, not because of our merit. Even when we feel we have lost much, we can still say Blessed be God, and find that He gives far more abundant riches in Christ. Your longing for children is deep, and children are a gift from the Lord. Scripture teaches that His design for sexual intimacy and for raising children is within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. If that is not your present situation, the right prayer is not that God would bless children outside His design, but that He would first lead you into faithfulness to Him, into purity, and if it is His will, into a godly marriage, and then entrust children to you in His timing. Your calling to serve Him, including any desire to be a pastor, does not depend on having two children to qualify you, but on character, faithfulness, and the calling God gives through His church. Bring that desire to Him and ask Him to shape it according to His Word.
You mentioned your health, your mind, your relationships with your brother and with another person, your need for a regular job that provides more than minimum wage, for finances, and even for practical things for the church like speakers and a coffee machine. God cares about all of these needs. It is right to ask Him for healing, for restored relationships, for reconciliation where there has been hurt, for honest work and provision, and for the needs of His church to be met. Pray that He would provide as He sees best and that you would be content and thankful whether the answer comes quickly or slowly.
Let me pray for you now.
Father in heaven, I lift up this dear one to You through Jesus Christ Your Son, our only hope of salvation. Lord, You know the feeling of being far off and the screaming inside for Your presence. Draw near to him as he draws near to You. Forgive his sins through the blood of Christ and wash his conscience clean. Break the power of pornography and every pattern of online sin, and set his mind free. Guard his mind from spiritual attack and fill him with Your peace and truth. Heal his body as You have shown mercy before, according to Your will, and heal his heart where he feels damaged. Comfort him with the assurance that Jesus does care and has not forgotten him.
Lord, align his desires with Your will. If it is Your will to give him marriage and children, prepare him for that holy calling and grant it in Your time. If You call him to other service, make that clear and help him to serve faithfully where he is. Restore his relationships, especially with his brother and with those closest to him, with forgiveness and truth. Provide for his daily needs, open a door for steady and honest work that meets his needs, and provide for the needs of his church as You see fit. Teach him to give thanks even in hardship and to trust Your mercies each day. Keep him from despair and help him to renew the fight against sin today, knowing that Your grace is sufficient.
I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, who alone saves, Amen.
I want to pray with you about the heavy things you named, and also to speak truthfully in love about them.
You feel spiritually under attack, your mind is troubled, and you want to be free from pornography and from what you have seen online that has damaged you. That desire to be free is right and good. Pornography is sin against God and it harms the soul, the mind and the body, and God calls us to turn from it completely, not to manage it but to repent of it and flee from it. While we are still in this life we have the opportunity to renew the fight and to conquer by His grace, not in our own strength but by confessing sin to God, turning away from it, and walking in the light. This will mean taking practical steps, cutting off access, bringing it into the light with a trusted pastor or mature Christian man for accountability, and filling your mind daily with Scripture and prayer. God is able to cleanse and heal a troubled conscience when we come to Him through Christ.
You also scream inside for children and for the presence of God and for healing, and you wonder if Jesus cares. He does care, more than you know. He bore our sicknesses and our sins on the cross because of His great mercy, not because of our merit. Even when we feel we have lost much, we can still say Blessed be God, and find that He gives far more abundant riches in Christ. Your longing for children is deep, and children are a gift from the Lord. Scripture teaches that His design for sexual intimacy and for raising children is within the lifelong covenant of marriage between one man and one woman. If that is not your present situation, the right prayer is not that God would bless children outside His design, but that He would first lead you into faithfulness to Him, into purity, and if it is His will, into a godly marriage, and then entrust children to you in His timing. Your calling to serve Him, including any desire to be a pastor, does not depend on having two children to qualify you, but on character, faithfulness, and the calling God gives through His church. Bring that desire to Him and ask Him to shape it according to His Word.
You mentioned your health, your mind, your relationships with your brother and with another person, your need for a regular job that provides more than minimum wage, for finances, and even for practical things for the church like speakers and a coffee machine. God cares about all of these needs. It is right to ask Him for healing, for restored relationships, for reconciliation where there has been hurt, for honest work and provision, and for the needs of His church to be met. Pray that He would provide as He sees best and that you would be content and thankful whether the answer comes quickly or slowly.
Let me pray for you now.
Father in heaven, I lift up this dear one to You through Jesus Christ Your Son, our only hope of salvation. Lord, You know the feeling of being far off and the screaming inside for Your presence. Draw near to him as he draws near to You. Forgive his sins through the blood of Christ and wash his conscience clean. Break the power of pornography and every pattern of online sin, and set his mind free. Guard his mind from spiritual attack and fill him with Your peace and truth. Heal his body as You have shown mercy before, according to Your will, and heal his heart where he feels damaged. Comfort him with the assurance that Jesus does care and has not forgotten him.
Lord, align his desires with Your will. If it is Your will to give him marriage and children, prepare him for that holy calling and grant it in Your time. If You call him to other service, make that clear and help him to serve faithfully where he is. Restore his relationships, especially with his brother and with those closest to him, with forgiveness and truth. Provide for his daily needs, open a door for steady and honest work that meets his needs, and provide for the needs of his church as You see fit. Teach him to give thanks even in hardship and to trust Your mercies each day. Keep him from despair and help him to renew the fight against sin today, knowing that Your grace is sufficient.
I ask this in the name of Jesus Christ, who alone saves, Amen.
