Your prayer has been laid before the Lord who already knows the secrets of your heart, and it is good that you have brought it to Him who waits to be gracious. Scripture tells us that the Lord waits that He may be gracious unto His people, and blessed are all they that wait for Him. He is a waiting God, and He would have His people be a waiting people, not waiting in despair nor in hesitation, but waiting in hope, with a joyous and assured expectation that He will do that which is best.
You ask for a sign and for direction because you feel confused and weary of waiting. Take comfort that waiting upon God is not lost time. As a servant waits upon his lord to know his master's will, and as a traveler waits upon his guide and a mariner upon his pilot, so we are to wait upon God for direction in the entire voyage of life. He is at the helm and His hand must steer our course. The pattern given to Israel in the wilderness is instructive, they moved only as the cloud moved, and rested where the cloud rested. To run before the cloud is to run into mischief, for haste is the author of a great deal of sorrow in human life. Therefore wait upon the Lord and be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. In that waiting you shall find a mysterious strength through the incoming of His Spirit, and your mind shall be quieted as you grow small in your own eyes and see how great is His wisdom.
You have prayed for restoration, and that word should first draw your thoughts to your restoration with Christ Himself. Peter's fall and Peter's restoration are set before us not to excuse our wandering but to show the greatness of our Redeemer's saving power. Peter was down, but he was soon up again through a look from the Lord, and that look severed him from the crowd and brought him to repentance. That restoration was not a mere return to a former affection for a friend, it was a turning again to his Lord, confirmed by Christ's own word and prayer, for Jesus had prayed for him that his faith fail not. So I urge you to seek first that your own heart be fully restored and kept near to Christ. If you have wandered, or if you have allowed any affection to take the place that Christ alone should hold, hear His gracious look and return to Him with weeping and with faith. Then you will be able to strengthen others, and you will be able to judge more clearly what is right for you and for the one you name.
You ask also for guidance concerning this relationship. True guidance is not found in demanding a sign according to our own choosing, but in bowing with submission to the will of God, for by that very submission we are furnished with unerring guidance. The Lord guides His people by great principles infused into the heart, chief among them this, avoid everything that is evil. He guides by His Word, by the secret counsel of His Spirit with them that fear Him, and by His providence as we closely wait upon Him. Ask therefore not only, shall this relationship be restored, but, is this relationship according to the revealed will of God and does it lead toward that which is holy.
This brings me to speak plainly and lovingly of the relationship of which you speak. The Scripture teaches that marriage is a covenant ordained of God, a lifelong union of one man and one woman, and that it pictures the union between Christ and His people. Your Maker is your Husband, and He has taken upon Himself all the responsibilities of that covenant toward those who are His. Whatever nearness we have to God now is not by birth but by grace, for we were aliens and strangers by our fall, and are brought nigh only through the blood of Christ. In like manner, the nearness of marriage is a holy affinity, to be entered reverently and kept purely. The Lord has set apart the intimacy of man and woman, and all that belongs to dwelling together as husband and wife, for that covenant alone. Outside of it, such things are not blessed but are to be avoided as evil. If therefore you would know the Lord's will for this relationship, bring it to this test. Is it a godly friendship that honors Christ, or does it entangle you in impurity, in living together before marriage, or in any path that Scripture calls sin. Do not ask God to bless what He has not called holy, but ask Him to make you holy and to conform your desires to His.
So I counsel you thus. Continue to wait only upon God, as David did, and let your soul wait in silence before Him. Pray conditionally as you have begun to do, Father, if this be according to Your will and right in Your sight, then lead us, and if not, then divide us and give us grace to submit. Pray more for holiness than for happiness, more for clarity than for haste, and more for Christ to be formed in you than for any earthly companionship to be restored. Seek counsel from mature believers who hold fast to the Word, open the Scriptures daily, and watch how the Lord orders your steps through His Word and through open and shut doors.
May the Lord grant you that peace which comes not from having your own way, but from having your will bent to His. May He lift any confusion from you, not by a sudden impulse sought in weariness, but by that steady light which shines upon the path of those who fear Him. And may He, who bought you with His precious blood and waits to present you faultless before His presence, perfect His work in you and guide you with His counsel until He receives you to glory.
We join you in prayer, that the Lord would keep you chaste and watchful, that He would remove all ego and bitterness and teach you to speak the truth in love, that He would restore you first to fervent love for Christ, and then, if it be His wise and gracious will, make plain whether this relationship should be restored and led toward a holy marriage covenant, or whether He would lead you each by another way for His glory. Let your hope rest not in the restoration of an earthly affection, but in Him who never fails those who wait for Him.
