We hear your pain and frustration, dear sister in Christ, and we lift you up before the Lord with heavy hearts. Marriage is a sacred covenant designed by God to reflect His love, faithfulness, and unity, yet we know the enemy seeks to distort and destroy what God has joined together. The struggle you describe is not just physical but deeply spiritual, emotional, and relational, and we stand with you in prayer, seeking God’s wisdom and intervention.
First, we must address the foundation of your prayer. It is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father, and it is by His blood alone that we are redeemed and set free. If you have not yet surrendered your life to Him, we urge you to do so now, for He is the only source of true healing, hope, and direction. Jesus said, *"I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"* (John 14:6). If you have already placed your faith in Him, we rejoice and press in together for His will to be done in this marriage.
Your desire for intimacy, both physical and emotional, is God-given. The Bible celebrates the beauty of marital love, as seen in Song of Solomon, where it says, *"Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—for your love is better than wine"* (Song of Solomon 1:2). Yet we also see in Scripture that marriage requires mutual love, honor, and selflessness. The Apostle Paul writes, *"Let the husband render to his wife the affection owed her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife doesn’t have authority over her own body, but the husband. Likewise also the husband doesn’t have authority over his own body, but the wife"* (1 Corinthians 7:3-4). This is not a one-sided expectation but a call to both spouses to cherish and prioritize one another.
We must rebuke the spirit of passivity and neglect that has taken root in this marriage. Your husband’s unwillingness to actively pursue change—whether through discipline in health, seeking godly counsel, or addressing deeper spiritual or emotional barriers—is not aligned with God’s design for marriage. Proverbs 27:17 says, *"Iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens his friend’s countenance."* Marriage should sharpen and strengthen both spouses, not leave one feeling abandoned or undesired. We declare that this cycle of inaction and empty promises must be broken in Jesus’ name!
Your weariness is understandable, and we do not take lightly the weight of your words when you say you no longer want this. The Bible warns us, *"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship have righteousness and iniquity? Or what communion has light with darkness?"* (2 Corinthians 6:14). While we do not know your husband’s heart, his lack of initiative in seeking help or change may reveal a deeper spiritual issue. We pray for his eyes to be opened to the seriousness of this matter and for God to convict him of his responsibility as a husband.
Yet we must also address your heart, dear sister. You mention that your prayers for change do not feel sincere, as though deep down you do not truly want it. This is a critical moment for self-examination. Are you praying for restoration out of a place of genuine hope, or has bitterness and resentment taken root? Hebrews 12:15 warns, *"Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it."* We encourage you to bring these feelings before the Lord, asking Him to reveal any areas of your heart that need healing or repentance.
You ask God to either release you from this marriage or give you discernment. We join you in this prayer, trusting that the Holy Spirit will guide you. The Bible does provide grounds for divorce in cases of sexual immorality (Matthew 19:9) and abandonment (1 Corinthians 7:15), but we must seek God’s wisdom to understand if either of these apply here. More importantly, we must ask: Has every effort been made to fight for this marriage in a way that honors God? Have you sought counsel from wise, godly mentors or pastors who can provide biblical guidance? Proverbs 11:14 says, *"Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety."*
We also want to gently challenge the idea of seeking release from this marriage without first exhausting all avenues of restoration. God is able to do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20), and we have seen Him breathe new life into marriages that seemed beyond repair. That said, we recognize that restoration requires two willing hearts. If your husband remains unwilling to change or seek help, you must consider whether staying in this marriage is causing you to compromise your own faith, emotional health, or calling.
Let us pray together now:
Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up this dear sister and her marriage. Lord, You see the pain, the frustration, and the longing in her heart. You know the desires You have placed within her, and we ask that You would either fulfill them in a way that glorifies You or redirect her steps according to Your perfect will.
Father, we pray for this husband. Soften his heart, Lord. Convict him of his responsibility as a husband to love, cherish, and pursue his wife as Christ pursues the Church. Break any spirit of passivity, selfishness, or addiction that may be hindering him. Give him the discipline to take action, whether in his physical health, emotional intimacy, or spiritual walk. If there are deeper issues—whether pride, past wounds, or unconfessed sin—expose them, Lord, and bring healing.
We rebuke the enemy’s lies that this marriage is beyond repair. We declare that nothing is impossible with You, God. If restoration is Your will, we ask for a miracle—a supernatural awakening in both of their hearts. Let them see one another through Your eyes, Lord, and let love, respect, and intimacy be restored.
But if this marriage is not Your will, Father, give this sister discernment. Speak to her clearly, Lord, through Your Word, through prayer, and through godly counsel. If she is to walk away, give her the strength to do so with wisdom, grace, and without bitterness. Protect her heart, Lord, and let her trust in You for her future.
Above all, we ask that You be glorified in this situation. Whether through restoration or release, let Your name be lifted high. We pray for Your peace to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7). Give her hope, Lord, and remind her that her worth is found in You alone.
We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, the Author and Perfecter of our faith, the One who holds all things together. Amen.
In the days ahead, we encourage you to seek godly counsel from a pastor or Christian marriage counselor who can walk with you through this difficult season. Surround yourself with believers who will pray for you, speak truth into your life, and hold you accountable. Remember, your identity is not defined by this marriage or your husband’s actions, but by Christ alone. As you wait on the Lord, meditate on His promises:
*"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit."* (Psalm 34:18)
*"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and don’t lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths."* (Proverbs 3:5-6)
*"For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord, “plans for peace, and not for evil, to give you hope and a future."* (Jeremiah 29:11)
We stand with you, sister, and we believe that God will make a way where there seems to be no way. Keep your eyes on Him.
