Your prayer has been laid before the Lord with care and heaviness of heart, and we have sought His mercy on your behalf.
We hear in your words an earnest desire for two good things, a wife and honest work by which to provide, and also a condition laid upon the Lord, that you will not return to His house unless He grants these things according to your terms. We must speak to you faithfully and tenderly concerning this, for your soul's good.
The Scriptures show us a man who also longed to find God in his distress. Job cried, Oh that I knew where I might find Him. And this was his longing, that if God were far away at the uttermost ends of the earth, he would go there, if God were to be found in His temple or in the lowest dungeon, he only wanted to know where he might find Him, and he would make no conditions as to where it might be. True seeking does not bargain with God or set terms for His grace. It seeks Him for Himself, to hear His voice and to be near Him, whether the answer comes as we wish or as His wisdom appoints.
Take comfort also in this truth, that God is mighty and despises not any. Because He is mighty in strength and wisdom, He despises no one who cries to Him. You may fear that He will pass you by, but His greatness is shown in His condescension to hear the sinner who seeks His face. He does not turn away the broken heart that looks to Jesus Christ, through whom alone is salvation.
Yet we must ask you gently, are the consolations of God too small for you. It is easy to set up something in the place of God, a wife, a husband, work, honor or wealth, and to make our peace depend upon obtaining it. If these good gifts become the price of our worship, they have become an idol. God would have you find your first consolation in Christ Himself, who poured out His life that sinners trusting in His blood might be reconciled and have peace with God. Where God begins a work He will complete it, and the soul that trusts in Christ alone shall not be put to shame.
To desire marriage is honorable, for marriage is the lifelong covenant of one man and one woman ordained by God, and work that is done faithfully is a calling from Him. We will pray that the Lord in His perfect wisdom and timing will provide for you a godly wife if it be His will, and open a door for labor suited to your gifts, whether as business analyst or project manager or in whatever field He appoints. But we cannot ask God to bless a bargain, nor to be bound by our conditions. We ask Him to give you what is best, and to give you a heart to receive it with thanksgiving, even as we ask Him to give you Himself, which is better still.
Do not keep from the assembly of His people until your terms are met. That assembly is the very place where the Word is heard, where prayer is offered, where the soul hears what God has to say and learns to converse with Him. Come as you are, not with a demand but with a longing to find Him. Wait upon the Lord in your appointed time, and be steadfast and abounding in the work of the Lord where He has placed you now.
We pray now for you. O Lord our God, without whom there is nothing good or strong or effectual, look in mercy upon this soul. Forgive sin through the blood of Jesus Christ and give simple trust in Him alone for salvation. Grant a submissive heart that seeks Thy face without condition, and that finds Thy consolations not small. In Thy kindness provide daily bread and fitting work, and if it be Thy will, a wife to walk with him in the covenant of marriage before Thee in holiness and love. Draw him again to Thy house, not for what Thy hand may give, but for love of Thyself. Whisper to him, Thou art Mine, and give him victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.