Chrysostom
Beloved of All
What you have shared reveals deep hurt, and it is right to name it plainly. To be mocked and belittled by those who claim to speak for God, to be told your work is covetousness while others doing the same work are not judged, to lose a contract role through unfair treatment and then be blamed for it, all of this wounds the heart. It is understandable that you feel anger and want to build your life on your own terms.
Yet walking away from the church, from prayer and from hearing the Scriptures is not freedom and is not acceptable before God, even when people have acted hypocritically. Faith does not grow apart from hearing the word of God. As Scripture says, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. When you set aside that voice, which is the voice of the Bridegroom calling his Church to himself, faith grows weak. Like Peter on the water, it was not the wind itself that made him sink, but his doubt. When faith is steadfast, the wind still blows but it does not have to overthrow you. If you cut yourself off from prayer and the Bible, you remove the very means by which God steadies you in such winds.
The bitterness you feel is also dangerous if it is allowed to remain. Scripture warns of a root of bitterness springing up, and a root that is bitter cannot bear sweet fruit. All that grows from it becomes bitter. Do not let the wrong done to you harden into a settled resentment against Christ and his people. There is a difference between human hypocrisy and God's will. People can misapply God's will when they tell you that you must abandon the talents God gave you and take any other job to prove humility, or that you must never marry. That was their word, not God's.
Your work as a Business Analyst is not covetousness in itself. Work is honorable before God. Aquila and Priscilla were tent makers, a trade not considered honorable in their day, yet their virtue made their house a church because piety and the fear of God dwelt there. Neither their trade nor their marriage harmed them. In the same way, your skill in analysis and management, your diligence in trading and saving, can be offered to God with honesty and thanksgiving. God does not despise that labor. He gave you passion and ability for it, and it can be used faithfully.
Marriage too is honorable. It is not holiness itself, but it preserves the holiness that comes through faith by keeping the marriage union pure and guarding against fornication. If you desire marriage, that desire is good, but pursue it in holiness, keeping yourself pure whether single or married, and seeking a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman as God designed. Sex and living together belong only within that covenant, not outside it. Using dating agencies is not wrong in itself, but the goal must be a chaste and orderly marriage, not simply freedom to live on your own terms apart from God's word.
The church is not meant to provide you a job or a savings plan. Its treasure is different. It is the place where sins are covered and forgiven by grace through Jesus Christ alone, where the blessedness David spoke of is given, not because we work for it, but because God forgives. No stock trade or promotion can give that. And a faithful church, even if it meets in a house like the home of Aquila and Priscilla, is where that grace is heard and lived, where strangers are welcomed and love is shown.
I will pray that God heals the hurt done to you, that he guards you from a root of bitterness, that he restores to you a love for his word and for prayer, that he guides your work with integrity, and that if he wills marriage for you, he leads you to a faithful spouse so that your home may be marked by piety and peace. I pray also that he leads you to a healthy fellowship where you are not mocked but built up, and where you can again hear the voice of Christ with joy and stand firm when the winds blow.
Yet walking away from the church, from prayer and from hearing the Scriptures is not freedom and is not acceptable before God, even when people have acted hypocritically. Faith does not grow apart from hearing the word of God. As Scripture says, faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God. When you set aside that voice, which is the voice of the Bridegroom calling his Church to himself, faith grows weak. Like Peter on the water, it was not the wind itself that made him sink, but his doubt. When faith is steadfast, the wind still blows but it does not have to overthrow you. If you cut yourself off from prayer and the Bible, you remove the very means by which God steadies you in such winds.
The bitterness you feel is also dangerous if it is allowed to remain. Scripture warns of a root of bitterness springing up, and a root that is bitter cannot bear sweet fruit. All that grows from it becomes bitter. Do not let the wrong done to you harden into a settled resentment against Christ and his people. There is a difference between human hypocrisy and God's will. People can misapply God's will when they tell you that you must abandon the talents God gave you and take any other job to prove humility, or that you must never marry. That was their word, not God's.
Your work as a Business Analyst is not covetousness in itself. Work is honorable before God. Aquila and Priscilla were tent makers, a trade not considered honorable in their day, yet their virtue made their house a church because piety and the fear of God dwelt there. Neither their trade nor their marriage harmed them. In the same way, your skill in analysis and management, your diligence in trading and saving, can be offered to God with honesty and thanksgiving. God does not despise that labor. He gave you passion and ability for it, and it can be used faithfully.
Marriage too is honorable. It is not holiness itself, but it preserves the holiness that comes through faith by keeping the marriage union pure and guarding against fornication. If you desire marriage, that desire is good, but pursue it in holiness, keeping yourself pure whether single or married, and seeking a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman as God designed. Sex and living together belong only within that covenant, not outside it. Using dating agencies is not wrong in itself, but the goal must be a chaste and orderly marriage, not simply freedom to live on your own terms apart from God's word.
The church is not meant to provide you a job or a savings plan. Its treasure is different. It is the place where sins are covered and forgiven by grace through Jesus Christ alone, where the blessedness David spoke of is given, not because we work for it, but because God forgives. No stock trade or promotion can give that. And a faithful church, even if it meets in a house like the home of Aquila and Priscilla, is where that grace is heard and lived, where strangers are welcomed and love is shown.
I will pray that God heals the hurt done to you, that he guards you from a root of bitterness, that he restores to you a love for his word and for prayer, that he guides your work with integrity, and that if he wills marriage for you, he leads you to a faithful spouse so that your home may be marked by piety and peace. I pray also that he leads you to a healthy fellowship where you are not mocked but built up, and where you can again hear the voice of Christ with joy and stand firm when the winds blow.
