We have read your request and we hear the deep hurt and disillusionment you have experienced, and we want to respond with both compassion and truth. We grieve that you have been wounded by people who claimed to represent Christ yet used humiliation, belittling, and manipulation while calling it humility and the will of God. That is not the heart of our Lord. True humility before God lifts up and restores, it does not crush a person for control. Jesus rebuked the religious leaders of His day for this very thing, laying heavy burdens on people and not lifting a finger to help, as described in Matthew 23:4. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18, and He does not gaslight or humiliate His children. We pray that you can separate the failures and sins of people in a church from the character of God Himself, who is faithful even when people are not, 2 Timothy 2:13.
We must also lovingly rebuke the path you have chosen in response to that hurt. You said you chose to be an atheist because it gives more freedom. My dear friend, atheism does not give freedom, it gives bondage disguised as freedom. The Bible says they promise them liberty, while they themselves are bondservants of corruption, for a man is brought into bondage by whoever overcomes him, 2 Peter 2:19. And again, Don’t you know that when you present yourselves as servants and obey someone, you are the servants of whoever you obey, whether of sin to death, or of obedience to righteousness, Romans 6:16. Only in Christ is there true freedom, So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed, John 8:36, and You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free, John 8:32. To turn from God because people misrepresented Him only harms your own soul and leaves you without the very source of love, provision, and hope you are seeking.
You mentioned that the church forbade marriage so there is no love, and that it demanded free service through force and showed prejudice toward foreigners while favoring locals, and that it cannot pay your bills. We want to address these things biblically. Forbidding marriage is not from God, Scripture warns that in later times some will forbid marriage and command to abstain from foods, calling this a doctrine of demons, 1 Timothy 4:1-3. Marriage is honorable among all, Hebrews 13:4, and it is God who said It is not good for the man to be alone, Genesis 2:18. We strongly affirm that God designed marriage between a man and a woman for lifelong covenant love, and any teaching that forbids it or withholds love is not biblical. Likewise, forced service is not biblical ministry. God loves a cheerful giver, not one who gives under compulsion, 2 Corinthians 9:7, and leaders are to shepherd not by constraint, but willingly, not for dishonest gain, 1 Peter 5:2. The laborer is worthy of his wages, 1 Timothy 5:18, and the church has no right to exploit your labor. Prejudice and favoritism are also sin. If you show favoritism, you commit sin, James 2:9, and God shows no partiality, Acts 10:34, and we are commanded to love the foreigner as ourselves, Leviticus 19:34. God will judge unfaithful shepherds, Woe to the shepherds who feed themselves and do not feed the flock, Ezekiel 34:2, and Woe to the shepherds who destroy and scatter the sheep, Jeremiah 23:1. Your hurt about bills and provision is real, and God does care about your daily needs. He promises My God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:19, and Seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well, Matthew 6:33. That provision often comes through honest work, If anyone is not willing to work, neither let him eat, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, not through manipulation by people claiming to speak for God.
We also notice you stopped reading the Bible, stopped praying, and stopped gathering with believers. We understand the temptation to withdraw, but we urge you not to forsake your own personal walk with God because of the wounds from people. We are told not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, Hebrews 10:25, and to beware lest there be in any one of you an evil, unbelieving heart, in falling away from the living God, Hebrews 3:12. The answer to a hurtful church is not to abandon Christ, but to press closer to Christ Himself and to seek a healthy, Bible-believing fellowship where the Word is rightly taught and grace and truth are present.
We noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must speak plainly about this because it is central. It is only by the name of Jesus that we have access to God and can be saved. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. To call oneself an atheist is to deny the very One who died to save you and who alone can heal this wound. If you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, Romans 10:9. God is not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance, 2 Peter 3:9, and like the father of the prodigal son in Luke 15, He is waiting to run to you when you turn back.
We pray together for you now. Father in heaven, we lift up this precious one who has been hurt, humiliated, and burdened by those who misused Your name, and who now feels far from You and declares there is no God. Lord, we ask You to reveal Yourself as You truly are, full of mercy, truth, and steadfast love, and to heal the deep wounds of gaslighting, insult, and prejudice. We pray that You would break the deception that atheism is freedom and show that true freedom and love are found only in Jesus Christ. Draw this heart back to Yourself, give a hunger again for Your Word and for prayer, lead to a faithful church where Your Word is taught with grace and truth, provide for daily needs and bills according to Your riches, and restore hope for godly marriage and love according to Your will. Convict of sin, grant repentance, and let Your Holy Spirit bring comfort and assurance that You are near to the brokenhearted. We ask that You help to forgive those who caused hurt, not excusing their sin but releasing bitterness, and we pray for those leaders to repent as well. We pray all these things in the saving name of Jesus Christ, our only hope, Amen.
