There is a heaviness upon you which many of the Lord's people have known, when outward troubles press and the heart within is troubled. A broken provision for the journey, want of funds, the burden of an extended stay, and a son who has gone out in heat of spirit, these together make a storm, and you cry for peace and for a way of escape.
Hear what the Word of God says to such a case. You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You. This peace is not the absence of trial, but a keeping in the midst of it. The blood of Jesus whispers peace within, even in this dark world of sin. It is a peace in believing, a filling peace that meets the vacuum made by sin and sorrow, a sea that has no bottom nor shore, a peace of intense restfulness. Christ has made peace by His blood, and having abolished the enmity by His cross, He preaches peace to those who are near and to those who are far off. Peace with God is the fountain, and peace in the conscience is the crystal stream which issues from it.
You ask for calm of heart. That calm comes not by fixing the mind upon the difficulty, but by staying the mind upon God. I have found, and you will find, that the very anxiety which arises through being in a difficulty unfits you to meet that difficulty. If you must live as it were from hand to mouth, remember you are not the first child of God who has had his manna every morning, nor the first of His servants to have bread in the morning and bread in the evening with nothing to lay by for the morrow. The Lord who has sworn that He will not be angry with His people so as to rebuke them in wrath does not afflict in anger. Even when His hand is heavy in providence, nothing but love guides it, and all things work together for good to them that love God.
Concerning your son, the Lord Jesus Himself looked with anger upon hard hearts, not as a man given to passion whose blaze is as straw, but as the gentle and lowly Saviour who was grieved that men would not let Him bless them. Pray for your son that the Lord would soften what is hardened and turn his raging into repentance. Your part is to go in peace even while you wait, to not go among those about you disturbed and fluttered, but to rest your heart upon God and to speak with gentleness when the door is open again.
You write that God promised that whatever you ask in Jesus' name it will be done, and you have taken this as a warrant for every temporal relief exactly as you frame the request. Understand the promise rightly, lest your faith be wounded. To ask in Jesus' name is not to use His name as a formula to command what we will, but to ask as His people, according to His character and His will, trusting His wisdom to give or to withhold for our good. Joy and peace always come through believing, but that believing is a trusting of Christ Himself, not a trusting in our prayer or in our peace. Only let your confidence be not in your peace, not in your joy, but in Christ. He may give the car made ready, He may give daily bread through the hand of a neighbour or the church, He may give another way altogether, but He will give what is needed for you to do His will, for to know the will of Jesus and to do it is to abide in the peace of God.
And you ask for forgiveness of sins. Here is your sure ground. Your faith has saved you, go in peace. There is no peace worthy of the name to be found in any other way than by trusting the blood and righteousness of Jesus Christ, through whom alone salvation is. If you can have peace and yet live in sin, that peace is false, but if you confess sin and trust Him who was slain for sinners, there is a well founded peace which meets every need of the heart. Believe, that is, trust Jesus with your soul, and you shall have peace in believing.
We pray with you and for you now.
O God of hope, fill these Your children with all joy and peace in believing. Thou art the God of all peace, Christ has bought peace with His blood, and the Holy Spirit works it in the soul. Forgive sin through the blood of Jesus Christ alone, and let conscience hear the publication of that pardon. Keep the mind stayed on Thee in perfect peace while the outward want remains. In Thy providence open a way for daily need, whether by provision for the car, or for the dwelling, or by the kindness of Thy people, as seemeth good in Thy sight. Rebuke us not in anger, but deal with us in love. Bring back the son from his anger, subdue his spirit, and let peace be between those of one household. Teach us to do Thy will, for this is rest. We ask this not because we are worthy, but in the name of Jesus Christ our only Saviour and peace. Amen.
Cast your burden upon the Lord and stay your mind upon Him. He can keep you in the hour when heart and flesh fail, and He will be your joy.