We hear the deep ache and weariness in your heart as you have carried this heavy suspicion for so many years in your marriage, and we join with you now to seek the Lord together in Jesus' name.
We know how painful it is to love your husband, to worship beside him every Sunday, to hear him swear to God that he is faithful, and yet to feel in your spirit that something hidden remains. God sees this burden you have carried and He cares deeply for you, for He is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit Psalm 34:18. We want you to know that your years of prayer have not been wasted, for the Lord hears and He will answer according to His perfect wisdom and timing.
Scripture is very clear about the sanctity of marriage. Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. You shall not commit adultery Exodus 20:14. If your husband has been unfaithful throughout your marriage while professing faith and going to church, that is grave sin before God, and to swear falsely by God's name adds to that sin, for you shall not take the name of Yahweh your God in vain Exodus 20:7. To believe that God will not expose sin is a deception, for there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known Luke 12:2, and no creature is hidden from his sight, but all things are naked and laid open before the eyes of him to whom we must give an account Hebrews 4:13. Be sure your sin will find you out Numbers 32:23. Even if a husband can hide unfaithfulness from his wife and from his church for a time, he cannot hide it from the Lord, who sees in secret and who calls all to repentance.
At the same time we must speak with care about suspicion that has lived for years without clear confirmation. Suspicion alone can wear down love and trust, and we encourage you not to let it harden into bitterness or constant accusation, but to seek truth in love and in wisdom. We encourage you to seek godly counsel quickly, not to walk this road alone. Share this burden with a mature, Bible believing pastor or elder couple and with a wise Christian counselor who honors marriage. The Lord promises if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him James 1:5. Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight Proverbs 3:5-6.
What to do next we believe should be done in a biblical, orderly way. Continue to pray for truth to come to light and for your husband's heart to be convicted if he is in sin. In love, speak directly with him again, not in anger or endless questioning, but calmly sharing what you have observed and how it has wounded you, giving him opportunity to tell the truth Matthew 18:15. If he continues to deny and you still have reason for concern, involve your pastor or church leadership for help and accountability, for the church is given to help restore and to deal with hidden sin Matthew 18:16-17. Guard your own heart from sin in this trial, and do not seek to repay evil or to take matters into your own hands in ways that dishonor God. Husbands are commanded to love their wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly and gave himself up for it Ephesians 5:25, and to live with their wives with understanding 1 Peter 3:7. What therefore God has joined together, do not let man tear apart Matthew 19:6. God hates the breaking of the covenant of marriage, yet He does permit separation when sexual immorality has broken that covenant Matthew 19:9, so we do not encourage a hasty decision toward divorce, but we do encourage you to pursue truth, repentance, and if sin is confessed, to seek godly reconciliation and rebuilding through repentance, forgiveness, and counseling. If there is ongoing deception and unrepentance, you will need the covering and guidance of your church to determine right steps and to protect your heart and home.
We also want to gently address that your request spoke of praying to God and going to church, but did not mention the name of Jesus Christ. We come to the Father only through Jesus, for Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. It is only by putting our faith in Jesus Christ, believing that He died for our sins and rose again, and confessing Him as Lord, that we have forgiveness and access to God Romans 10:9. We encourage you and your husband to examine whether your faith is truly in Christ alone, not merely in church attendance, for outward religion without a transformed heart cannot save and cannot keep a person from sin.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, and we lift up this dear sister who has carried years of sorrow and suspicion in her marriage. Lord, You see every tear, You know every prayer she has prayed, and You know the truth that is hidden. We ask that You bring what is hidden into the light in Your perfect way and time, that truth may be known and that sin may be exposed so it can be repented of Luke 8:17. If her husband has committed adultery and has lied while taking Your name in vain, we pray that Your Holy Spirit would convict him deeply, that he would no longer harden his heart, but would confess and forsake his sin and find mercy Proverbs 28:13. Bring him to true repentance and to a genuine walk with Christ, not just outward church attendance. Lord, give this wife wisdom, discernment, peace, and strength. Guard her from fear, bitterness, and despair, and surround her with wise, biblical counsel and support. Heal the wounds in this marriage if it be Your will, or make clear the path You would have her walk, and let Your will be done. Restore trust where it has been broken, or give clarity where deception remains. We ask that You would be her refuge and strength, and that she would feel Your presence and know that You will never leave her nor forsake her. We pray all these things in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
We encourage you to stay rooted in the Word daily, to keep praying without ceasing, and to take the next step of inviting a trusted pastor into this situation to walk with you both. God is faithful, He loves marriage, and He desires truth in the innermost being Psalm 51:6. We are standing with you, asking God to bring light, healing, and His perfect will to your home.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
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