Obstacles before wedding

[violetrose]

I have recently been experiencing some trials. My significant other said he wanted time away from me and said he didn't wish to speak but he said he would get back to me. No indication of the timeline. He suddenly pulled away once we both flew back to our countries after being home to get some work done which didn't. He just pulled away and he was fine while we were home. We have a wedding coming up in December. I have been comforted in my prayers. He said he wanted to get married when I lost spoke to him on call but he wanted time away. I said I would give it. My prayers comforted me. I transitioned from asking God to keep this person in my life because he got him to me, to surrendering and saying, "I want this, but may your will be done." It was painful. I was asking God to speak to me to and give me signs. Sometimes I would speak to myself in my own head and wonder if that was Gods voice and I was confused if it was mine or Gods. 2 days later I opened the bible and I came across "She is dressed like a bride for her wedding.....No longer will you be called deserted wife. Your land will be called "Happily Married".." and this exactly related to my situation. I felt a calming presence and peace and I felt like God spoke to me directly! The odds of this verse coming and relating exactly to my situation blew me away. I then opened a youtube video about gods voice for confirmation and a comment said "Open the Bible. That's Gods voice" soon after I was watching a reel on God and I said God I surrender to you and the guy in the video said, "God wants you to surrender". I was blown. Now I waited but as a human normally fails. I failed and I tried to control the situation. I kept calling my fiance and texting him continuously until he called me and shouted at me for me doing so even when he asked me time. And I just said, "I just want to know if you wnat to get married" ANd out of anger he said, "No!" I told you I wanted to time!!! " Why do you keep calling. I was depressed after that call and I thought to myself I Wont call him anymore and believe that hr broke up. I was crying for a day and cried in the work toilet and suddenly since yesterday eveing I stopped crying. I kept remebering Gods promise to me and that I need to trust and I handed the wheels to God now. I have felt so calm and peaceful and it's unreal how I'm feeling even when I was on the floor 2 days back and crying my eyes out to God. That scripture pulled me out and gave me peace.

 

[Articles]

We hear the deep pain and confusion in your heart, and we stand with you in prayer, lifting this situation before the Lord. First, we want to commend you for your surrender, your willingness to say, "I want this, but may Your will be done." That is the posture of a heart after God’s own, and it is not easy. The peace you now feel is no coincidence; it is the Holy Spirit comforting you, just as Jesus promised in John 14:27: "Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives, I give to you. Don’t let your heart be troubled, neither let it be fearful."

The verse you found in Isaiah 62:4-5 is indeed a powerful promise: "You shall no longer be termed Forsaken; neither shall your land any more be termed Desolate: but you shall be called Hephzibah, and your land Beulah; for Yahweh delights in you, and your land shall be married. For as a young man marries a virgin, so your sons shall marry you; and as the bridegroom rejoices over the bride, so your God will rejoice over you." This is God’s heart for you, restoration, joy, and a marriage that reflects His love. But we must also ask: Is this promise for your earthly marriage, or is it a foreshadowing of the ultimate marriage between Christ and His Bride, the Church? We pray for clarity as you wait.

We must gently rebuke the pattern of control you described, calling and texting repeatedly after he asked for space. Proverbs 16:32 reminds us, "One who is slow to anger is better than the mighty; one who rules his spirit, than he who takes a city." When we try to force outcomes, we grieve the Holy Spirit and push away the very thing we desire. Your fiancé’s anger is not an excuse for sin, but it is a sign that this relationship needs godly wisdom and boundaries. If he is a believer, he must be held accountable to Ephesians 4:26-27: "Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil." His withdrawal and outburst reveal deep instability, and we must pray for his heart to be softened and aligned with Christ.

We also must address the timing of your engagement. Marriage is a sacred covenant, not a contract to be rushed or pressured. 1 Corinthians 7:32-34 warns, "But I desire to have you to be free from cares. He who is unmarried is concerned for the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but he who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife." If this man is not ready to lead spiritually, emotionally, or even practically (as seen in his sudden withdrawal), then we must question whether this union is of the Lord. A godly marriage requires two people fully submitted to Christ, not one carrying the weight of the relationship alone.

We are deeply concerned by his statement, "No, I don’t want to get married." This is not a small matter, it is a direct contradiction to the covenant you both entered into before God. If he is a believer, he must be confronted with Matthew 5:37: "But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ be ‘No.’ Anything more than this is from the evil one." If he is not a believer, we must question whether this union is unequally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). Either way, we must pray for truth to prevail.

Let us pray for you now:

"Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Lord, we lift up this sister to You, who is walking through a valley of uncertainty. You see her tears, her surrender, and her hunger for Your will. We thank You for the peace You have given her, a peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). We ask that You would continue to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus.

Father, we pray for clarity in this situation. If this marriage is Your will, then soften her fiancé’s heart, convict him of his responsibility as a godly husband, and restore him to a place of repentance and commitment. If this is not Your will, then give her the strength to release him with grace, trusting that You have something better in store (Jeremiah 29:11).

Lord, we rebuke the spirit of fear, control, and desperation that has tried to take root in her heart. We declare that she is not forsaken, nor is her future desolate. You delight in her, and Your plans for her are good. We pray for wisdom, discernment, and patience as she waits on You (Psalm 27:14).

Father, we also pray for her fiancé. If he does not know You, draw him to Yourself. If he does, then convict him of his sin, his instability, and his failure to honor his commitments. May he be a man after Your own heart (Acts 13:22), leading with love, humility, and self-control.

We declare that no weapon formed against her shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17), and that You will turn her mourning into dancing (Psalm 30:11). Strengthen her faith, Lord, and let her see Your hand at work in every detail.

We pray all these things in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Amen."

Now, dear sister, we encourage you to do the following:
1. Wait on the Lord. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh." Do not initiate contact. Let him come to you with clarity and repentance.
2. Seek godly counsel. Proverbs 11:14 says, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Speak to a pastor, mentor, or mature Christian couple who can offer biblical wisdom.
3. Examine the relationship. Is this man truly submitted to Christ? Does he exhibit the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Is he willing to lead spiritually? If not, this marriage will only bring heartache.
4. Prepare your heart. Whether this marriage happens or not, your identity is in Christ. You are His beloved, and He will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
5. Pray for your fiancé. Not for your will to be done, but for his heart to be transformed by the gospel. Pray that he would become the man God has called him to be.

Remember, God’s delays are not His denials. His silence is not His absence. The same God who spoke to you through Isaiah 62 is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28). Trust Him. Rest in Him. And let His peace rule in your heart.

 

[hostadmin]

We’ve been sitting with your words, and the weight of these days is real. The sudden silence from someone you were building a future with, the confusion of hearing “no” from a voice that once said yes, that’s a deep ache. And yet, we hear something steady in you too. That peace that came in the middle of the crying, that calm you can’t fully explain, we believe that’s God holding you together when your own strength ran out. Not a guarantee of how things will end, but a reminder that you’re not alone in the waiting.

When the urge to reach out and force a resolution rises (and it will), that doesn’t erase the genuine surrender you’ve already walked through. It’s simply the human heart struggling to stay openhanded. What might help right now is a small, tangible guardrail: put the phone in another room for set stretches of the day, or hand it to a trusted friend when the temptation to text feels overwhelming. Giving him the time he asked for is, in a way, an act of trust in God as well.

We’d also gently encourage you not to carry this by yourself. This is too heavy a burden to sort through in isolation. Is there a wise friend, a mentor, or someone from your church you can talk with? Sometimes simply saying out loud, “I’m scared and I don’t know what’s going to happen” to another person who cares can loosen the knot in your chest.

As you continue to rest in that unexpected peace, we’re praying with you, not for a particular outcome we can’t know, but for you to know you are profoundly loved and held, no matter what the next weeks bring.

Lord Jesus, quiet her heart again when the questions crash in. Shelter her in Your love that doesn’t waver, and give her the courage to stay surrendered. Grant wisdom to both of them, and bring clarity in Your time. Calm the fear that whispers she’s been abandoned; let her feel Your nearness like a steady hand on her back. In Your strong name we pray, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

It is no uncommon thing for a soul that has tasted the sweetness of God's promise to turn again to the bitter waters of self-will. You were given a word from the Lord, "She is dressed like a bride for her wedding . . . No longer will you be called deserted wife", and your heart was laid in perfect stillness. That calm was not your own; it was the very peace of God which passes all understanding, the peace Jesus gives, not as the world gives. Yet you rose from your knees to seize the reins again, and the clamour of your voice drove away the dove of peace.

Do not mistake me: the promise is true. God's thoughts toward you are thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. But promises are to be waited for, not wrestled out of the hand of God by impatience. He who gave you that Scripture did not also say, “Now run and compel your fiancé to speak.” The angel of the covenant came to you in the stillness, and you met Him with a storm of words to a mortal man. No wonder the man shouted. A heart that is not stayed on God cannot bear the pressure of another's desperation.

But listen: your fainting fit in the work toilet, and then the sudden, unnatural calm, this is the hand of the Lord. “You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You: because he trusts in You.” When you let go, and said “Your will be done,” you touched the secret of the saints. The peace came back, not because the situation changed, but because you let Christ's blood whisper peace within. He is your peace, not a wedding date, not even a husband's returning affection. In Jesus' keeping we are safe, and they, that is, those we love, are safe too, safe in His wise and holy purposes.

Now, what is your part? Let your soul be like a weaned child. Stop calling. Stop texting. Silence is not faithlessness; it is faith leaving the field to God. You asked for a sign, and He gave you His written Word, is not that enough? The Book is God's voice. When you open it trembling, He speaks more plainly than any whisper in your mind. Hold to the promise as a dog holds a bone: with jaws locked. Say to your fears, “You are not my God; for I have had mercy upon her that had not obtained mercy, and I will say to them which were not My people, You are My people.” That promise may tarry, December may come and go, but it shall speak, and not lie.

Be not dismayed. It is a common disease of good men, and good women too, to sink when they see the wave. But the command stands: “Fear you not, be not dismayed; for I am with you.” You are God's pupil, and this trial is a hard lesson, yet He is teaching you to trust and not be afraid. The cross of Christ has slain all your despair. The blood of Jesus has answered every accusation. Whatever may befall your earthly union, you are not a deserted wife: you are the bride of Christ, betrothed in faithfulness. Rejoice in that, and you will find that He who gave His Son for you will with Him freely give you all things, including the wisdom to wait and the strength to bear reproach.

So rest. Let the promise be the pillow at your head, though you lie down in sorrow. God's promise does not fail forevermore. Has He forgotten to be gracious? Never. And if your friend's anger spoke a “No,” God's Word is still “Yes” in Christ. Commit the matter into His pierced hand. And whether He brings your husband-to-be back on bended knee, or closes that door in mercy, you shall yet declare, “The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” For the great peace of lovers of God's Law is this: they can have perfect peace when strife rages all around. Walk in His statutes, and leave all outcomes to Him who called you out of darkness into His marvellous light.