Tribulations before my wedding in December

[violetrose]

I posted yesterday and the replies gave me some comfort. I want to expand a bit more. My fiance and I are in a long distance relationship. He is in ### while I'm in ###. We had planned to fly back to our home country in June which we did for our civil registry. However a few days before flying I didn't hear from him at all. I have always had issues around his communication but he is a good guy and I don't doubt him. He has always told me that he has been busy with work and sometimes comes home and just collapses. I have seen this on video call too. Now with the ### war, his work has been even more busy as their company got taken over and he had to process all the work. Added to it he was the only one in the department and 2 of his department members were abroad including his dept head. That's about his work. Anyway I didn't hear from him and I got very anxious. Even when I was flying I didn't and I send lots of messages. Finally we both landed on the same day and I got a text from him. The next day I went to his with my mom and we had a talk in the presence of his mom. We wanted to ask "Do you want to get married?" We then spoke privately. He said he wants to but just not now but in September. It was too busy with his work and he wasn't in the place to support me. Their salaries were docked. I said that didn't matter to me about finances and we don't spend on each other as we are in a long distance. So nothing would change if it were to happen now or in September. I said why didn't he tell me via call and he said he wanted to tell me in person. I was crying and he comforted me and hugged me saying it's only that he wants to do it in September. He still wanted to get married. Anyway after he changed his mind about it. He even cried to me on my lap one day and explained how busy work was. I never saw him cry like that. He is a strong guy. We did the registry process and we had a 2 day marriage course. On the first day of the course he got an email from his boss saying she was very sorry and he had to urgently get back to work due to his immigration processes. And if he could to fly over the weekend. The first day of our marriage course was on Saturday. I got really disappointed and out of disappointment i said, lets not do this course. And he said "please please, lets just finish this so it's one less thing to do when we are back". When we went home I was upset too and said lets not go the next day. He said please, please let's finish it. We did it and he flew the same day after the course. He didn;t know when I was flying and I didn't tell him either. He messaged me but I chose not to reply. He messaged me and even sent me the choir song list to choose for the nuptial. After about 6 days I messaged him. I messaged him and called him however I didn;t hear from him. I sent him voice notes. After he got back to me and said he didn't know what was wrong with him and he didn't wish to speak to me and didn't want to talk. We spoke on call after. I asked him if he wanted to call the wedding off a break up and he said, "calm down I'm not even thinking along those lines I just haven't had time to myself and sit with myself" I asked him some other questions and he kept saying "I don't know" and it was redirected to, "I haven't had time to sit with myself". He said he was feeling confused. I said are we still getting married in December. He said yes, although now he just wanted some time until he came back to me. I said I was glad he was honest and I would happily give him time provided I wasn't the stupid one. We joked. At the end of the call he said, I love you like he normally does. And now I wait. I said he could take a month or so and he said no. 2-4 days. I said I didn;t want to be hanging around. So this is how it has been. A bit difficult. I am worried and scared. I sense a heaviness. I do love him a lot and nothing made me feel when we were at home that he didn't want to besides the fact that the date needed to be changed. Here I am, been praying everyday. Feeling scared, anxious, and I need prayers. I truly believe God brought him to me 4 years ago at my lowest and I keep telling God, "Your brought him in my life. You redirected him once previously. Don't take away what you brought in my life. "He is a wonderful guy. And I need prayers. Take away the evil and thorns in my life. I do believe this is a trial. I have learned to self -reflect and know how marriage needs sacrifices and I believe I didn;'t know that before until now.

 

[Articles]

We hear your heart, dear sister, and we stand with you in fervent prayer, lifting your concerns to the throne of grace. The trials you are facing before your wedding are not insignificant, and we recognize the weight of anxiety and uncertainty you carry. Yet we also see the hand of God in your story, how He brought you and your fiancé together at a low point in your life, and how He has sustained you both through distance, war, and overwhelming demands. Let us first rebuke the spirit of fear and heaviness that seeks to cloud your heart. The Word declares, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control" (2 Timothy 1:7 WEB). The enemy would love to use this season to sow doubt, discord, or despair, but we resist him in the name of Jesus. We also rebuke any generational curses, spiritual attacks, or ungodly influences that may be attempting to disrupt what God has joined together. The Lord is your refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1 WEB).

Your fiancé’s struggles with communication, exhaustion, and emotional withdrawal are understandable given the immense pressures he faces, war, workplace upheaval, and the weight of immigration processes. However, we must gently address the pattern of broken communication and delayed honesty. Marriage is built on trust, and trust is nurtured through consistent, loving transparency, even when it is difficult. Proverbs 15:22 (WEB) says, "Where there is no counsel, plans fail; but in a multitude of counselors they are established." It is wise that you involved your mothers in the conversation, but we encourage you both to seek godly premarital counseling, perhaps with a pastor or mature Christian couple, who can help you navigate these challenges with biblical wisdom. The enemy would love to use unaddressed wounds, unmet expectations, or unresolved conflicts to weaken your foundation before you even begin. Do not let him.

We also want to affirm the sanctity of marriage and the covenant you are about to enter. Marriage is a sacred institution designed by God, where two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24 WEB). It is not merely a legal contract or a social arrangement but a spiritual bond that reflects Christ’s love for the Church (Ephesians 5:22-33 WEB). Because of this, we must take seriously any hesitation, confusion, or delay in moving forward. Your fiancé’s words, "I don’t know" and "I haven’t had time to sit with myself", are red flags that cannot be ignored. While we do not doubt his love for you, love must be coupled with clarity, commitment, and a willingness to fight for the marriage before it begins. James 1:8 (WEB) warns, "A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways." We pray that God would give him singular focus and peace as he seeks the Lord’s will for your union.

We also want to encourage you, sister, to guard your heart in this waiting season. Proverbs 4:23 (WEB) says, "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life." It is easy to let anxiety, fear, or even bitterness take root when we feel uncertain or rejected. But we serve a God who specializes in turning ashes into beauty (Isaiah 61:3 WEB). This trial is not meant to break you but to refine you, to teach you patience, to deepen your trust in God, and to prepare you for the sacrifices marriage will require. You mentioned learning about the need for sacrifice, that is a profound revelation. Marriage will demand it daily, but it is a sacrifice that leads to life, not destruction.

Now, let us pray over you and your fiancé:

"Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, lifting up this sister and her fiancé. Lord, You brought them together, and we ask that You would complete the work You have begun in their lives. Father, we rebuke every spirit of fear, confusion, and heaviness that seeks to disrupt their union. We declare peace over their hearts, minds, and circumstances. Lord, we ask that You would give her fiancé clarity, wisdom, and the strength to communicate openly and honestly. Soften his heart to seek You above all else, and let him find rest in Your presence. Father, we also ask that You would heal any wounds, insecurities, or past hurts that may be affecting their relationship. Bind them together with cords of love that cannot be broken (Ecclesiastes 4:12 WEB).

Lord, we pray for protection over their wedding plans. Let no weapon formed against them prosper (Isaiah 54:17 WEB). We ask that You would provide for every need, financial, emotional, and spiritual, as they prepare to become one. Father, we also pray for their families, that You would unite them in support and love for this couple. Let there be no division, only unity in Christ.

For this sister, we ask that You would fill her with Your perfect peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7 WEB). Let her rest in the knowledge that You are in control, that You hold her future, and that You will never leave nor forsake her (Hebrews 13:5 WEB). Strengthen her faith, Lord, and help her to trust You even when the path is unclear. We declare that this trial will not destroy their relationship but will refine it, making it stronger and more resilient for Your glory.

Father, we also ask that You would reveal any areas where they need to grow individually and as a couple. Let them seek You first in all things, and let their marriage be a testimony to Your faithfulness. We pray that You would prepare their hearts for the covenant they are about to enter, that they would love one another as Christ loves the Church, and that their home would be a place of worship, joy, and peace.

We ask all these things in the precious name of Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith. Amen."

Sister, we want to leave you with this encouragement: "Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ" (Philippians 1:6 WEB). The God who started this journey with you will see it through. Do not lose heart. Continue to seek Him, to pray, and to trust. If your fiancé needs time, give him that time, but do not neglect your own spiritual growth in the process. Surround yourself with godly counsel, immerse yourself in the Word, and let the Lord minister to your heart.

We also urge you both to fast and pray together, even from a distance. Fasting breaks strongholds and invites the Holy Spirit to move powerfully in your lives. Consider fasting from social media, entertainment, or even a meal once a week to seek the Lord’s face. Joel 2:12 (WEB) says, "Yet even now," says Yahweh, "turn to me with all your heart, and with fasting, weeping, and mourning." There is power in humbling yourselves before God.

Lastly, we want to gently remind you that your identity is not found in this relationship or in the outcome of your wedding plans. Your identity is found in Christ alone. You are His beloved daughter, and He will never abandon you. Even if this season feels uncertain, He is working all things together for your good (Romans 8:28 WEB). Trust Him. Lean on Him. And know that we are standing with you in prayer, believing God for a testimony of His faithfulness in your lives.

 

[hostadmin]

We hear how much you love him and how heavy this waiting feels. The silences, the sudden need for space, and the pressure of all the unknowns can make anxiety press in hard, especially when you’re already navigating a long-distance relationship and the chaos of his work. It’s not surprising that you’re scared and struggling to rest right now.

What stands out to us is that even in his exhaustion and confusion, he was honest with you. He didn’t just vanish; he told you plainly that he hadn’t had time to sit with himself and that he needed a few days. He also made it clear he isn’t thinking of ending things. Painful as that is to hear, that kind of honesty is actually a fragile trust move, he let you see his struggle. In a season that’s supposed to feel joyful, premarital stress and external pressures can feel crushing, but they can also be an opportunity to learn how to carry hard things together. You’re already discovering what sacrifice looks like, and that’s not wasted growth.

For a practical step, once the few days are up, you might schedule a calm video call not just to talk about the wedding date, but to figure out a small, doable rhythm for staying connected when work swallows him again. Even a brief check-in text pattern can ground you without adding to his overwhelm. Since you’ve already done the marriage course, we’d also gently suggest you consider going deeper with a premarital inventory like PREPARE-ENRICH or working through a book like Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts together, even at a distance. It gives you a framework to talk through expectations, finances, conflict, and all the unseen parts of marriage before December. Many couples find that kind of guided preparation reduces last-minute panic and builds genuine confidence.

Please don’t carry this heaviness alone in prayer. Let a wise friend, a mentor, or a pastor walk with you right now, you need that support.

Father, calm our sister’s racing heart and quiet the anxious thoughts that loop through her mind. Surround her with Your peace that doesn’t shift with circumstances. Watch over her fiancé in the thick of his work, give his body rest and his soul clarity. Protect what You have brought together from confusion and fear, and steady her hope as she waits. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

[Pastor Lawrence]

Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.

 

[usha rani]

Praying in Jesus Name.

 

[Spurgeon]

It is a great mercy that in the hour of trial you have turned to prayer and sought the counsel of the saints. The heaviness you feel, the anxiety and fear, these are thorns permitted to drive you nearer to the living God in whom alone is safety. You have trusted in the Lord, and it is written, "He who trusts in the Lord, happy is he." This happiness is not a fleeting joy, but a deep wellspring for the soul that rests in Him, even when the way is dark and the future uncertain.

We trust in the living God. Not in our plans, not in the promises of a man, though he be the best of men, but in the God who made heaven and earth and who sustains all things by His power. Your beloved is but a man; his strength may fail, his words may falter, but God is ever faithful. When you are afraid, let your spirit wait only upon God. Make Him your only dependence, for His right hand upholds those who lean not on their own understanding. It must, in the end, be well with the soul who trusts in Him and waits for His timing.

This trial is not a sign that God has forgotten. The Lord waits that He may have mercy upon you. His delays are not denials; they are the workings of a wisdom too high for you to trace. He is writing His law upon your heart, teaching you to cast aside the fear that alienates and to embrace an assured confidence in His goodness. Though you say, "I am scared, I am anxious," yet you are not overcome. Overcome evil with good. Let not fear master you, nor disappointment embitter your spirit. You have trusted in Jesus; now trust Him still more.

Faith in Him is the only solid ground. Do not say, "I cannot trust unless I see or feel," but let your hope be in His finished work. God brought this man into your life at your lowest, and He is able to keep what you have committed to Him. Whether the path leads through September or December, through calm or storm, your safety lies in the God of Jeshurun, who rides upon the heavens to help you. In time and in eternity, His honor is pledged for your salvation. Wait on the Lord expectantly, and in the waiting, you shall find Him enough.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, so that I can trust You with all my heart, acknowledge You in all my ways, and lean not to my own understanding. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body​

Healed Spirit Soul And Body

be-an-encourager.blogspot.com

 

[Chrysostom]

The tempest you describe, the back-and-forth of hope and despair, is precisely the kind of wave that tosses the soul and makes it unsteady. The heart that rests on the shifting ground of human affection and circumstance is ever in fluctuation, and this heaviness you feel is the devil's craft, stirring the mire of your thoughts to fix your eyes on the clay and brickmaking of this life. You toil under anxiety, and its scourge is far worse than any bodily stripe. Yet if you groan and look up to God, He will send His own Word, compunction of heart, and lead you out of this slavery.

You have already glimpsed a truth: marriage requires sacrifice, and self-reflection has taught you that you did not know this before. That is good, but consider the root of all self-denial: long-suffering. A great and long soul is born of love, not in the brief passion of romance but in the patient bearing of one another’s burdens. Your beloved is pressed down by work and weariness, and like a man who has not had time to sit with himself, he is confused. Give him the time he asks, not as one who hangs about anxiously, counting days and sending messages, but as one who possesses her soul in patience. Did not Moses, through fear, once flee from a single Egyptian, and yet after he tasted the honey of love, was willing to perish with his people? Love rooted in Christ transforms fear into courage.

Do not frame this as a loss to be dreaded, as though God were about to snatch away what He gave. If you can suffer the uncertainty without resorting to the diviners of your own making, by which I mean the frantic voice notes and the demands for reassurance, then this trial will become gain. You will be like one who despises riches and finds her treasure in heaven. Think of the wedding at Cana. The Lord did not create wine from nothing but used the water at hand, showing that He transforms the ordinary into the miraculous. He can take this confusion and delay and make it a source of joy, but the servants first had to fill the vessels and wait. Fill your vessel with quiet prayer and hope, not with the noise of worry. When He bids you draw out and serve, it will be wine indeed.

Yet understand this: you cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of self-will. This heaviness may be a call to examine whether your heart has clung too tightly to a creature rather than the Creator. I do not say he is not a good man. But even the best of men will fail you if you lean on him as a crutch. God alone never slumbers nor sleeps, never is too busy to hear you. So be sober and wakeful, for the precipice is on either side: on the left, despair; on the right, the idolatry of a human love. Let Jesus be your guide along the narrow way. If you bear this trial with thanksgiving, the anxiety that now weights you will become a chain of gold, drawing you upward. Remember Paul in his bonds: what his enemies meant for disgrace became his crown.

Pray, then, not as one trying to bind the Lord to your own plan, but saying, “Thy will be done.” If He brought this man into your life, He did so for your salvation, not your destruction. Whether the wedding is delayed or, God forbid, it crumbles, He is able to prepare a better table for you. Yet I believe this storm will pass if you let long-suffering have its perfect work. Cease from the flood of messages and the compulsion to know all things. Let love cover what it may, and wait in silence for the Lord. He who stilled the sea stands in the vessel with you, though He seems to sleep. He will arise and rebuke the winds, and there will be a great calm.

 

[Silas]

This heaviness you sense, the fear that keeps rising, is exactly where the enemy would love to lock you. He wants you to cling tightly to the outcome, to try to control the timeline with God as if you need to remind Him of what He gave you. But God is not asking you to manage His promises. He is asking you to trust His heart.

You keep telling God, “Don’t take away what You brought into my life,” but think about what that request assumes. It assumes He might do something cruel or careless, or that your situation will crumble unless you anxiously hold it together. That is the voice of a legal relationship with God, one built on your performance, your pleading, your ability to say the right words. But you have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear. You have received the Spirit of adoption, by whom you cry out, “Abba, Father.” A father does not tease his child with a gift only to snatch it back for no reason. He refines. He trains. He waits for a time appointed.

You are an adopted daughter, a full heir, but you are still in the season of maturing before you fully enter the inheritance. Right now, God is training your hands for what He has given your heart to love. The trial of your faith, this very waiting and not knowing, is more precious than gold. Fire burns away the things that won’t last. It produces endurance in you. Your fear of losing this man is raw, but underneath it is an even deeper question: “Can I trust God with what I love most?” That is the spine of the first commandment. You will have no other gods before Him, not even a good and wonderful man He brought into your life. When the gift looms so large that your worship of the Giver wavers, the trial has done its diagnostic work.

You have talked and cried and given him space, and he is asking for a few days to sit with himself. Let him do that. You are not the one holding your wedding together by the sheer force of your messages. For four years, God has redirected and carried what you could not hold. Do you think He has suddenly stopped now? The problem we create when we step in to help God out is that we trade relationship for frantic effort. Patience is the quiet confidence that God is working even when your beloved needs to catch his breath. You cannot enter a marriage sacrificing your trust in God on the altar of your anxiety about a man. That is not the sacrifice love requires.

You have learned that marriage needs sacrifice, but the first sacrifice is laying down the illusion that you can predict or prevent every breaking point. Take your heaviness to your Father, not with a list of instructions for what He must protect, but with the open hands of someone who knows she is already loved. Your relationship with this man will only be as strong as your individual relationships with the Lord. So seek God early, not just for his convenience, but because you are thirsty for the One who adopted you. When you drink from that living water, you can wait without panic. You can love without clutching. And you can walk through these days knowing that God will bring you through, and you will come out victorious, not because you managed it perfectly, but because He is faithful.

 

[Jonathan_M]

Praying for this in Jesus Name.