We join you in prayer in the name of Jesus Christ and we thank you for bringing your family before the Lord with a heart that desires healing, mercy, and forgiveness even in the midst of deep pain.
We hear the torment you are describing, the disunity and betrayal and sadness and anger that has grown since your father passed away, the fighting over authority and control, the shouting and yelling and insults and tears that have replaced calm talking, and the hurt of offering help and finances only to be met with an ungrateful attitude. We also hear the heaviness of being far away with expensive travel that makes reunion difficult, and the added sorrow that your spouse does not care for your family and you feel you cannot force that relationship. This is a heavy burden and we bring it to the Lord together.
We want to gently and lovingly rebuke the language of extermination in your title. We understand you are expressing anguish and feeling that your family is being destroyed by strife, but we must not pray for or wish for any family, whether your own or a neighbor's, to die or be exterminated. God is a God of life and mercy and desires that none should perish but that all should come to repentance, 2 Peter 3:9. We are called to love our neighbor and to bless and not curse, Romans 12:14, and to pray for life and reconciliation. Even when families are in deep sin and disobedience, God's will is healing and repentance, not destruction. The Lord says, Vengeance belongs to me, I will repay, Romans 12:19, and we are to overcome evil with good.
Your desire to forgive daily is Christlike and we encourage you to continue in it. You quoted the heart of Jesus when He said, Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing, Luke 23:34. The Word tells us, Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Ephesians 4:32. And, Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice, Ephesians 4:31. The shouting and toxic tongue you describe wounds everyone. The tongue is a restless evil, full of deadly poison, James 3:8, and we need God's grace to tame it. With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, James 3:9, but this should not be. We pray that honesty and gentle speech would replace insults and yelling, and that each heart would take responsibility and repent for its part. If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men, Romans 12:18.
We also lift up your mother who is suffering with suicidal thoughts and living in a negative environment with a toxic tongue, while carrying heavy responsibility for your brother's family. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit, Psalm 34:18. He heals the broken in heart, and binds up their wounds, Psalm 147:3. We pray God would protect her mind and soul, surround her with His peace, and provide godly help and counsel around her. We encourage you to stay in close and loving contact with her, to encourage her to share these thoughts with a trusted pastor, counselor, or mature believer, and to seek help promptly if she speaks of harming herself, and to remind her that God has purpose for her life and that He cares deeply for her. Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you, 1 Peter 5:7. We also pray for your brother's family and for provision for all your needs, for our God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:19.
Concerning your spouse, we honor that marriage is a lifelong covenant before God and your spouse is your first earthly commitment after the Lord. We cannot force our spouse to love our extended family, but we can pray for our spouse and honor them while also honoring our parents and family with appropriate boundaries. We pray that God would soften your spouse's heart toward your family and give you both wisdom to navigate distance and finances with unity and respect, and that your marriage would be a testimony of love and patience. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, Philippians 4:6, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus, Philippians 4:7.
You are right that God is rich in mercy, Ephesians 2:4, and that He can restore what has been lost over years of mistakes. He promises, I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, Joel 2:25. We cling to the promise you shared, Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household, Acts 16:31. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father, for Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6, and there is no other name under heaven that is given among men by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. We thank you for praying in the name of Jesus Christ, for that is our hope and our access.
We pray together now.
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, asking for Your mercy upon this family. Lord, rebuke every lie of Satan that has sown disunity, betrayal, anger and ungratefulness among them. Bring repentance where there has been disobedience and hardness of heart, and bring honesty where there has been deception or withholding. Heal their hearts, Lord, replace shouting and insults with gentle and truthful words, and teach them to forgive as You have forgiven us. Comfort this dear one who feels far away and helpless, provide for the financial needs and the cost of reunion if it is Your will, and make a way for reconciliation in Your timing. Touch their mother, Lord, lift the darkness of suicidal thoughts, guard her mind, heal her soul, and surround her with Your presence and with people who will support and speak life over her. Provide for her and for the brother's family. Work in the marriage, Lord, give unity between husband and wife, give love and understanding and wisdom to honor both marriage and family without strife. Restore the years that have been lost, and let this family know that after death those who are in Christ will be together with You and with their father who knew You, in heaven with You, our Heavenly Father. We ask all this in the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, amen.
