Silas
Beloved of All
Your heart for your family comes through so clearly in this request, and the pain you are carrying is heavy. The disunity, betrayal, anger and sadness, the shouting and insults where there should be listening, the fighting over who has authority and control after your father passed, and the hurt when help you offer with finances is met with ingratitude or silence, all of this brings deep grief. Added to that is the distance and the cost that keeps you from gathering, and the tension that your spouse does not share your burden for them. God sees all of this, and He is rich in mercy.
Scripture shows that when we follow Jesus we enter a new family, the family of God. Jesus once asked, who is my mother and who are my brothers, and then pointed to His disciples and said that whoever does the will of God is His brother and sister and mother. He was not dishonoring His own mother, but teaching that the bond created by faith in Him is deeper than even blood ties. When a family is united in love for the Lord, that is a beautiful and strong bond. When it is not, those who follow Christ will often feel an alienation and a loneliness even within their own household. That does not mean you are to hate your family. Jesus taught that our love for Him must be first and greater than our love for father or mother, for spouse or children or siblings. If He is first, He will then teach you how to love your family rightly, with honesty, patience and truth.
You spoke of forgiving them each day because they do not know what they are doing, as Jesus prayed on the cross. That is the right heart. Forgiveness is not a matter of keeping count. Jesus spoke of forgiving seventy times seven to show that forgiveness is a matter of the spirit, not mathematics. Our forgiveness is often incomplete, as if we bury the hatchet but leave the handle showing. God's forgiveness is different. When He forgives, it is total and complete. He does not hold the sin against you any longer. He asks us to have that same spirit from the heart, and when we are willing, He will give us the capacity. It is right to pray, Lord, take away this bitterness and give me a spirit of forgiveness, and to keep bringing that prayer to Him. That forgiveness does not mean that hurtful behavior is excused or that boundaries are not needed, but it does free your heart from being held captive by anger.
You asked for healing of hearts, for honesty with one another, and for God to rebuke lies. The way to that is to come boldly and directly to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ alone. He has opened the way. We do not need another mediator. We can bring every need, every wound, every confusion directly to Him and ask Him to expose what is false and to establish what is true. Pray that each member of your family would do the will of the Father, for that is where true unity is found.
Your concern for your mother is especially tender. Suicidal thoughts, a harsh tongue and a negative environment are signs of deep distress. God commands children to honor father and mother, and that honor includes seeking their good and protection. Please continue to pray for her safety and for provision for her and for your brother's family. Encourage her, as you are able from a distance, to reach out for help from trusted pastors and counselors and from those near her who can walk with her daily, and if she speaks of harming herself, help her to get immediate care. God values her life greatly, and He knows your financial needs as well. He is able to provide and to restore what has been lost over years of mistakes when hearts turn to Him in repentance.
Concerning your household, you quoted that if you believe in the Lord Jesus you and your household will be saved. That promise is sure, and it means that salvation is offered to your whole family as each person individually believes in Jesus. God desires that none would perish, and your prayers for their repentance and for their bad behavior toward you to change are according to His will. Keep praying that each one would personally put faith in Christ, for only through Him is there forgiveness and new life and the power to be reconciled.
You cannot force your spouse to feel as you do, and you are right not to try to force it. Love your spouse faithfully within your marriage covenant, continue to do good as God enables you, and trust the Lord with what you cannot control, including when and how a reunion might be possible.
May the Lord heal your souls, guard your hearts from the enemy's lies, teach you to speak truth in love, and provide for every need according to His mercy.
Let us pray. Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we bring this family before You. You see the torment, the disunity, the shouting and the sorrow after the loss of their father. Heal their hearts, bring honesty where there has been deception, and soften what is hard. Grant each one repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, that they may know complete forgiveness. Give a spirit of true forgiveness from the heart to forgive as You have forgiven. Protect their mother, lift the despair and suicidal thoughts, tame the tongue, and surround her and their brother's family with provision and peace. Provide for finances, for protection, for wisdom about distance and family gatherings, and for love within the marriage. Rebuke every lie and let Your truth and Your will be done among them. We ask that they would one day be reunited with You and with those who sleep in Christ in Your presence. We ask all this through Jesus alone, who is our only way to You. Amen.
Scripture shows that when we follow Jesus we enter a new family, the family of God. Jesus once asked, who is my mother and who are my brothers, and then pointed to His disciples and said that whoever does the will of God is His brother and sister and mother. He was not dishonoring His own mother, but teaching that the bond created by faith in Him is deeper than even blood ties. When a family is united in love for the Lord, that is a beautiful and strong bond. When it is not, those who follow Christ will often feel an alienation and a loneliness even within their own household. That does not mean you are to hate your family. Jesus taught that our love for Him must be first and greater than our love for father or mother, for spouse or children or siblings. If He is first, He will then teach you how to love your family rightly, with honesty, patience and truth.
You spoke of forgiving them each day because they do not know what they are doing, as Jesus prayed on the cross. That is the right heart. Forgiveness is not a matter of keeping count. Jesus spoke of forgiving seventy times seven to show that forgiveness is a matter of the spirit, not mathematics. Our forgiveness is often incomplete, as if we bury the hatchet but leave the handle showing. God's forgiveness is different. When He forgives, it is total and complete. He does not hold the sin against you any longer. He asks us to have that same spirit from the heart, and when we are willing, He will give us the capacity. It is right to pray, Lord, take away this bitterness and give me a spirit of forgiveness, and to keep bringing that prayer to Him. That forgiveness does not mean that hurtful behavior is excused or that boundaries are not needed, but it does free your heart from being held captive by anger.
You asked for healing of hearts, for honesty with one another, and for God to rebuke lies. The way to that is to come boldly and directly to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ alone. He has opened the way. We do not need another mediator. We can bring every need, every wound, every confusion directly to Him and ask Him to expose what is false and to establish what is true. Pray that each member of your family would do the will of the Father, for that is where true unity is found.
Your concern for your mother is especially tender. Suicidal thoughts, a harsh tongue and a negative environment are signs of deep distress. God commands children to honor father and mother, and that honor includes seeking their good and protection. Please continue to pray for her safety and for provision for her and for your brother's family. Encourage her, as you are able from a distance, to reach out for help from trusted pastors and counselors and from those near her who can walk with her daily, and if she speaks of harming herself, help her to get immediate care. God values her life greatly, and He knows your financial needs as well. He is able to provide and to restore what has been lost over years of mistakes when hearts turn to Him in repentance.
Concerning your household, you quoted that if you believe in the Lord Jesus you and your household will be saved. That promise is sure, and it means that salvation is offered to your whole family as each person individually believes in Jesus. God desires that none would perish, and your prayers for their repentance and for their bad behavior toward you to change are according to His will. Keep praying that each one would personally put faith in Christ, for only through Him is there forgiveness and new life and the power to be reconciled.
You cannot force your spouse to feel as you do, and you are right not to try to force it. Love your spouse faithfully within your marriage covenant, continue to do good as God enables you, and trust the Lord with what you cannot control, including when and how a reunion might be possible.
May the Lord heal your souls, guard your hearts from the enemy's lies, teach you to speak truth in love, and provide for every need according to His mercy.
Let us pray. Heavenly Father, in the name of Jesus Christ we bring this family before You. You see the torment, the disunity, the shouting and the sorrow after the loss of their father. Heal their hearts, bring honesty where there has been deception, and soften what is hard. Grant each one repentance and faith in Jesus Christ, that they may know complete forgiveness. Give a spirit of true forgiveness from the heart to forgive as You have forgiven. Protect their mother, lift the despair and suicidal thoughts, tame the tongue, and surround her and their brother's family with provision and peace. Provide for finances, for protection, for wisdom about distance and family gatherings, and for love within the marriage. Rebuke every lie and let Your truth and Your will be done among them. We ask that they would one day be reunited with You and with those who sleep in Christ in Your presence. We ask all this through Jesus alone, who is our only way to You. Amen.
