We hear the depth of your anguish, and our hearts break with yours. What you are enduring is not just suffering, it is spiritual warfare, and the enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy (John 10:10). But we declare that Jesus came so that you might have life, and have it abundantly. The torment you describe is real, but it is not from God. The Bible tells us, "For our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world’s rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places" (Ephesians 6:12). You are not imagining this battle, and you are not alone in it.
First, we must address the alcohol. While we understand your desperation for sleep, turning to substances to cope only gives the enemy more ground in your life. Scripture warns, "Don’t be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18). Alcohol may numb the pain temporarily, but it weakens your spirit and your ability to resist the enemy. We rebuke the spirit of addiction in Jesus’ name and command it to loose its grip on you. You are not helpless, you have the authority of Christ within you. "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). We pray for the Holy Spirit to fill you with His peace and strength, so you no longer feel the need to turn to anything but Him for relief.
The torment you describe, feeling violated, attacked, and sleep-deprived, is a tactic of the enemy to break your spirit. But we declare that you are not broken beyond repair. The psalmist cried out in similar despair, "Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me?" (Psalm 42:5), yet he also declared, "Hope in God!" You have done so much right: immersing yourself in God’s Word, guarding your heart, and seeking Him with all your mind. But the enemy has been relentless in his attacks, and we must fight back with the weapons God has given us. "For though we walk in the flesh, we don’t wage war according to the flesh; for the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh, but mighty before God to the throwing down of strongholds" (2 Corinthians 10:3-4). We take authority over every demonic spirit tormenting you, in the name of Jesus, and command them to flee. You are a child of God, and no weapon formed against you shall prosper (Isaiah 54:17).
You ask if God loves you, and the answer is a resounding yes. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish, but have eternal life" (John 3:16). His love for you is not based on your circumstances or your feelings, it is based on who He is. You are His creation, fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14), and He has a purpose for your life. The enemy wants you to believe that you are forgotten or abandoned, but God says, "Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yes, these may forget, yet I will not forget you!" (Isaiah 49:15). You are not forgotten. You are deeply loved.
We also want to gently address the despair you feel, the wish that you had never been created. This is a lie from the enemy, who seeks to convince you that your life has no value. But your life is precious to God. "The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. I came that they may have life, and may have it abundantly" (John 10:10). Jesus did not die for you to live in torment. He died so that you could walk in freedom, victory, and peace. We rebuke the spirit of despair and command it to leave you now, in Jesus’ name. You are not a mistake. You are not an accident. You are a child of the Most High God, and He has a plan for your life.
Now, let us pray for you:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus, our Savior and Deliverer. We lift up our brother/sister to You, who is enduring unimaginable torment and spiritual attack. Lord, we ask that You would break every chain of oppression, every spirit of fear, every demonic assignment against him/her. We declare that no weapon formed against him/her shall prosper, and every tongue that rises against him/her in judgment, You will condemn (Isaiah 54:17).
Father, we ask for Your healing touch to restore his/her mind, body, and spirit. Where there is brokenness, bring wholeness. Where there is despair, bring hope. Where there is torment, bring Your peace that surpasses all understanding (Philippians 4:7). We rebuke the spirit of addiction and command it to loose its grip on him/her. Fill him/her with Your Holy Spirit, so that he/she no longer feels the need to turn to anything but You for comfort and relief.
Lord, we ask that You would surround him/her with Your angels, that they would encamp around him/her and protect him/her from every attack of the enemy (Psalm 91:11). Give him/her restful sleep, free from torment and fear. Renew his/her strength like the eagle’s, so that he/she may run and not be weary, walk and not faint (Isaiah 40:31).
Father, we pray that You would reveal Your love to him/her in a tangible way. Let him/her feel Your presence, Your peace, and Your comfort. Remind him/her that You are near to the brokenhearted and save those who have a contrite spirit (Psalm 34:18). Help him/her to see that this battle is not against flesh and blood, but against spiritual forces, and that You have already given him/her the victory through Christ Jesus.
We declare that the enemy’s plans for destruction will not prevail. We speak life, healing, and restoration over him/her. We pray that You would raise up godly believers to come alongside him/her, to pray, encourage, and support him/her in this battle. Give him/her the strength to resist the enemy and stand firm in the faith.
In the name of Jesus, we command every demonic spirit tormenting him/her to flee. We declare that he/she is covered by the blood of Jesus, and no weapon formed against him/her shall prosper. We pray all these things in the mighty name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
We encourage you to seek out a strong, Bible-believing church community where you can receive prayer, support, and discipleship. Spiritual warfare is not fought alone, it is fought in the context of the body of Christ. Find believers who can stand with you in prayer, fast with you, and encourage you in your walk with the Lord. The enemy wants you isolated, but God has called you into fellowship with His people.
Also, consider fasting as a way to break the power of the enemy in your life. Jesus said, "This kind can come out by nothing but prayer and fasting" (Mark 9:29). Fasting weakens the flesh and strengthens the spirit, making you more sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading and more resistant to the enemy’s attacks.
Lastly, do not give up. The enemy wants you to believe that God has abandoned you, but He has not. He is with you in the fire, just as He was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego (Daniel 3). Your breakthrough is coming. Keep pressing into God, keep standing on His Word, and keep resisting the enemy. He will flee. You are not fighting for victory, you are fighting from victory, because Jesus has already won the battle on the cross. Hold on to that truth, and do not let go.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
