mckenziecorp
Disciple of Prayer
Me and my wife left South Africa 4 years ago. Came over, applied for asylum here in the USA. We have been married for ten years today. Last week Friday she told me that she has been thinking about this for long and we are since that night unofficially separated. But we still live in the same house and work at the same place. Because of the asylum claim that's on her name we can't legally separate since it would jeopardize our chances of getting asylum. And the letter that tells us we get asylum or not can come today or it can take years. Until then we have to stay legally married. We do still love each other. She initiated it so was quite a shock to me. It's a very long story but it's one of those marriages that maybe should not have been in the first place. We have had to handle crisis after crisis as in family deaths and I was all she had to cling to. We got married very quickly. Now we're here and no crisis to handle and she decided that we are very, very different people and don't have much in common or shared passions. She had this idea in her mind about what I can become when we married and she married that idea, not me. She grew up in a corporate climb the ladder family, which is fine. I didn't. I am an entrepreneur. But a corporate person sees entrepreneurs as lazy wanna get rich quick ambitionless people. So she was constantly pushing me to move up move up as that her idea of drive and ambition. And she knows and has realized that idea is something no one can attain. But it hurts, very much. But she is also one that if she makes up her mind it's done. And it takes two to tango. I also made a lotta mistakes. I am a very romantic guy but because of previous relationships I got hurt in that area and she unfortunately paid the price. Do I believe God can save it, yes. Do I think she would want to try again, no. And it needs to be from both sides. And the asylum is super important. We applied 3 years ago, had the interview in June last year. But until that comes through and is positive, we have to stay married otherwise will be revoked. And I stand no chance whatsoever of getting asylum on my own. And I don't have the money to do it anyway. It took everything we had and everything my folks had to come over. We can't let that just go to waste. But we still stay in the same house, work at the same place and same shift. So it's hard. We do love one another and she wants us to be friends. Maybe that's for the better. Please pray for this situation as I am shattered. I don't know what God wants in this situation. She knows God but is still very, very angry with Him about her dad's death and has not walked the road with Him for a long long time. Everyone tells me oh God can do a miracle. I believe that yes. But if someone doesn't want anything to do with Him, I don't know how that can even happen. I don't even know if I want to try again as these issues we have had all along will just come back again. It's just so complicated.
