We join you in crying out to the Lord for your marriage and your family, and we stand with you for a miracle, for nothing is impossible with God.
We affirm what you already know in your spirit, that marriage is a sacred covenant before God between a man and a woman for life. What God has joined together, let no man separate, Mark 10:9, and the Lord says He hates divorce, Mal 2:16. This is not just a legal matter but a spiritual one, and God’s heart is for restoration, reconciliation, and holiness, especially for the sake of your children who are a heritage from the Lord, Ps 127:3. With two sets of twins in the home, the weight of this battle is even greater, and we take seriously your burden to see your family preserved.
We commend you for repenting of your wrongs and for choosing to forgive your wife for hurt and emotional abandonment. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness, 1 John 1:9. And forgiveness is not optional for us as believers, we are to be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you, Eph 4:32. True repentance bears fruit and leads to a changed life, and true forgiveness releases the other person to God and refuses to hold bitterness.
We must also lovingly rebuke and correct what is working against your marriage. A hardened heart, bitterness, and unforgiveness are sin before God and give the enemy a foothold. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it, Heb 12:15. Unforgiveness imprisons the one who holds it, and the Lord commands us to forgive as we have been forgiven, Matt 6:14-15. We also want to address what you described as generational curses. While patterns of sin can be passed down in families, we do not live under curses as children of God, for Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law, having become a curse for us, Gal 3:13, and if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new, 2 Cor 5:17. The battle is not against a generational label but against unrepented sin, hardness of heart, and the need for each person to be made new in Christ. Your wife is responsible before God for her own response to Him, and she needs a new heart that only He can give. I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit within you. I will take away the stony heart out of your flesh, and I will give you a heart of flesh, Ezek 36:26.
We notice your request does not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we must speak plainly about this because it is essential. It is only through Jesus that we have access to the Father and that any prayer is heard, for Jesus said, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me, John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved, Acts 4:12. If you have not already done so, we urge you to place your full trust in Jesus Christ, that He died for your sins and rose again, and confess Him as Lord, for if you will confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved, Rom 10:9. It is in His name and by His blood that generational patterns are broken, hearts are softened, and marriages are healed. We encourage you to pray consistently in the name of Jesus, and to invite your wife to seek Him as well.
For your part, we encourage you to continue to walk in repentance and in steadfast, Christlike love, even if she remains unwilling for a time. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the assembly, and gave himself up for it, Eph 5:25. This means loving without manipulation, without coercion, with patience, purity, and self control, and without pursuing any other relationship or sexual involvement outside your marriage, for marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers, Heb 13:4. Let your life preach the gospel to her. To the married we also hear the Lord’s command, that the wife not leave her husband and that the husband not leave his wife, and if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband, 1 Cor 7:10-11. The king's heart is in the Lord's hand like the watercourses. He turns it wherever he desires, Prov 21:1, so we do not put our hope in her willingness but in God’s power to transform her.
We pray together now for you.
Father in heaven, we come before Your throne in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, and we lift up this husband, his wife, and their four precious children to You. Lord, You see the pain, the filing for divorce, the hardness and bitterness that has taken root, and the deep desire for restoration. We ask You to forgive sin on both sides, to wash this family in the blood of Jesus, and to break every chain of unforgiveness, pride, and hurt. Soften our sister’s heart, take away the stony heart and give her a heart of flesh that can forgive and receive forgiveness. Deliver her from bitterness and open her eyes to Your design for lifelong marriage. Give this husband strength to stand in faith, to love as Christ loves, to be steadfast in prayer and fasting, to walk in purity and humility, and to be a godly father who shepherds his children through this storm. We rebuke the spirit of divorce and division and we ask for a miracle of reconciliation that testifies to Your power. Let no weapon formed against this marriage prosper, and let Your will be done in this family as it is in heaven. We ask that both husband and wife would fully surrender to Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, for without Him neither can be truly healed. We trust You for what only You can do, and we thank You in advance for restoration, in Jesus’ name, amen.
We encourage you to remain in fervent prayer, to fast as the Lord leads, to stay rooted in the Word daily, and to seek wise, biblical pastoral counseling from a local church that honors marriage. Do not pursue divorce, do not speak ill of your wife to others or to your children, but speak truth in love and entrust her to God. Continue to show consistent repentance, provide for and protect your children, and guard your own heart from discouragement. God is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, Eph 3:20, and we will continue to contend with you for the healing of your marriage.