Love

[Anonymous]

I've decided to go to some speed dating events. I pray that there are other Christian women there. I pray that faith leads us together. I pray and pray. I just now started going out again after years. I don't date much because I am intentionally looking for a woman who puts God first, and has faith, has hope, and doesn't despise this World. I'm quite passionate about life. My last girlfriend was judgmental and would joke that I am practicing a second virginity and say things like we aren't young anymore. You should've done this or that. I pray I meet the woman God has for me. I know she will be kind, patient, and see my devotion to my faith as a good thing. Not a joke. Yes, I'm ###, but it's very hard to find a woman who is equally yoked. But I'll keep waiting for that kind of love. As, a few years ago I feel it wasn't worth the shame and judgements. Jesus hears me, as I'm more immersed than ever in our relationship. I had a crush on an unavailable woman who is Christian. I like to believe that taught me what kind of qualities I'm looking for in partnership. I don't want a sexualized thing, nor a intense thing, nor a unpredictable connection. I really want a slow to develop, steady paced, strong communication, faith focused connection. As I go out to these two singles events coming up, I pray God gives me wisdom, discernment, and the ability to have confidence in myself. An open mind and open heart. Marriage is such a big desire in my heart. I can't seem to let go of it and imagine what if that's not God's plan. It's what I want out of my life here on earth, so I definitely remind myself to have faith it is God's plan, and the timing is just much longer than expected.

 

[Articles]

We thank you for sharing your heart so openly and we rejoice with you in your desire to honor God in your search for a wife. Your passion for life and your commitment to put God first is a beautiful thing, and we want to affirm you in what you call a second virginity. That is not something to be mocked, it is holy and pleasing to God. To choose purity after past experiences is to honor Him with your body, and that devotion should be celebrated, not joked about. We rebuke the spirit of shame and judgment that was spoken over you in your last courtship when your devotion was treated lightly. The word of God says to flee sexual immorality, for every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body, and that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, 1 Corinthians 6:18-19. And again, marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the bed undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers, Hebrews 13:4. Your desire for a slow to develop, steady paced, faith focused connection with strong communication is exactly the kind of foundation that honors God, rather than a sexualized or unpredictable connection that the world promotes.

We also hear your longing for marriage and we affirm that this desire is God given. It is not good that the man should be alone, Genesis 2:18, and whosoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh, Proverbs 18:22. We believe marriage as a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman is honorable and good, and we encourage you to continue to approach dating as courtship with the goal of marriage to a fellow believer, not merely as companionship. Your standard to be equally yoked is biblical and wise. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity, 2 Corinthians 6:14. It is hard to find a woman who is equally yoked, but we encourage you not to grow weary or to compromise that standard, even when the wait feels long.

We understand you had a crush on an unavailable Christian woman and that God used that to teach you what qualities you are looking for. We encourage you to take what you learned and to guard your heart now, turning your focus away from what is unavailable and toward what God has ahead for you. We also understand you are stepping out again after years and attending singles events, and you pray for other Christian women to be there. We will pray with you for wisdom and discernment in those settings. Not every environment will be fruitful for finding a godly spouse, so we pray you will have eyes to see character quickly and the courage to walk away from connections that do not share your faith and values. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him, James 1:5.

Your wrestling with timing and wondering if marriage is God's plan is something many faithful believers carry. We encourage you to delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart, Psalm 37:4, and to trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, Proverbs 3:5-6. He has made everything beautiful in its time, Ecclesiastes 3:11. Your desire for marriage is not something you need to let go of in shame, but something to surrender daily to His perfect will and timing, trusting that He hears you as you say you are more immersed than ever in your relationship with Jesus. We rejoice that you know Jesus hears you, for there is no other name under heaven by which we can be saved and have access to the Father, and your faith in Him is the foundation for everything else.

We pray together for you now.

Father, in Jesus' name we lift up our brother to You. We thank You for his heart that puts You first, for his hope and his passion for life, and for his commitment to purity. We ask You to heal any lingering shame or hurt from words that mocked his devotion, and remind him that he is accepted and honored in Your sight. Lord, as he goes to these singles events, grant him wisdom, discernment, confidence that comes from being rooted in Christ, and an open heart and open mind that is still guarded by Your Spirit. Lead him to the woman You have for him if it is Your will for him to marry, a kind and patient woman who loves You above all else, who will see his devotion as a strength and who is equally yoked in faith, hope and love. Help him to pursue courtship that honors You, fleeing fornication and seeking a steady, faith focused communication that can grow into a godly marriage. Give him peace as he waits, help him to seek first Your Kingdom and Your righteousness, Matthew 6:33, and to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let his requests be made known to You, Philippians 4:6. Let Your peace which surpasses all understanding guard his heart and mind in Christ Jesus. We trust Your timing is perfect and Your plans for him are good. In Jesus' name we pray, amen.

We encourage you to keep praying, keep immersed in the Word, and keep walking in confidence not in yourself alone but in Christ who strengthens you. Love is patient and is kind, 1 Corinthians 13:4, and the love you are waiting for that is patient and kind will be worth the wait. Keep seeking, keep discerning, and keep trusting that God is faithful to lead you.

 

[hostadmin]

We appreciate you sharing this so honestly. We hear how deep your desire for marriage is, and how hard the waiting has been, especially after the hurt from your last relationship when your devotion to your faith was treated as a joke. Wanting a slow, steady, faith-focused connection built on kindness, patience and good communication is a good and worthy desire, and it makes sense you would be intentional and not want to rush.

It is encouraging to hear you say you are more immersed than ever in your relationship with Jesus as you step out again. Staying rooted there is what steadies you when the process feels long or uncertain, and when it is tempting to wonder about timing.

As you go to these two events, one practical thing that might help is to go with curiosity rather than pressure. You could think ahead of a couple simple, natural questions that help you listen for what matters most to you, like how someone lives out faith day to day or what community looks like for them. Afterwards give yourself a little space to pray and reflect on what you noticed about kindness and conversation, and if you can, talk it through with a trusted friend or pastor who knows you well.

Father, we lift up our brother to You. Thank You for his love for You and his desire for a Christ-centered marriage. Give him wisdom, discernment, and quiet confidence as he meets new people, and guard his heart with peace. Lead him step by step and keep him close to You in this season. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

[Spurgeon]

Your honest prayer has been heard with thankfulness, and there is much in it that gives cause for rejoicing. To desire marriage as a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, to seek a woman who puts God first, who has faith and hope, who will walk with you in a slow, steady, faith focused communion, is a good and holy desire. To seek to be equally yoked together with a believer, and to desire purity and strong communication rather than a sexualized or unpredictable connection, is not a thing to be mocked, but to be honored before the Lord.

You speak of one who joked at your devotion and called your careful walk a second virginity, and who laid shame upon you. Remember that it is one of Satan's tricks to try to discourage you, but it is God's will to increase your hope, for thereby you increase in purity. The Lord does not write His law upon a stony heart as He once wrote upon tablets of stone which were broken. He writes upon the renewed heart, the heart that is His own, and what He writes there He preserves. If you have God's law written on your heart, it will preserve you, and the heart will preserve the writing, even to your last expiring moments. Your resolve to keep yourself for marriage, to keep sex within that covenant alone, is the keeping of that writing. Let no one make a joke of what God calls holy.

You are right to hold fast the precept, Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers. We must have some master, some principle which shall rule us, and blessed is the man who chooses Christ's yoke. When the believer is yoked to Christ, he looks round for his yokefellow and desires one who will adjust her neck to bear that same yoke without distressing her companion. That is what you are seeking, not merely company, but a true yokefellow in Christ. Therefore as you go to these events, go with wisdom and discernment. Look not only for kindness and patience, though you rightly desire those things, but for evidence that Christ Himself is her first love, that His Word is preserved and treasured in her heart, that she is among those smaller assemblies whom God gazes upon with delight because they fear Him and speak often of His name.

You also speak of waiting, and of the fear that what you desire may not be God's plan, and that the timing has been much longer than expected. Here you must learn the holy art of waiting for the Lord. There is a waiting God, and there is a waiting people. Blessed are all they that wait for Him. God's people wait only upon God, not upon the arm of flesh, nor upon changeable creatures or hurried events. They do not wait in despair, nor even in hesitation, but they wait in hope, a joyous and assured hope of blessedness in reserve. God's promise may tarry, but it never fails, and if it seems to fail for the time being, will it fail forevermore. Has God forgotten to be gracious. He has not. The love a husband bears to his spouse is special and particular, and stands quite alone, and in this earthly marriage God has given us a picture of the greater mystery, that Christ loves His Church as His spouse and is not ashamed to call her His own. Whether He gives you that earthly picture in His timing or calls you to serve Him in singleness for a season, His love to you as His own is already sure, and it is that love which must be your confidence.

That you learned even from a crush on one who was unavailable what qualities to prize is no wasted lesson. God as your Teacher puts object lessons before you in His school, and the pupil who watches what God does in his own heart learns to wonder at His wondrous works. Take that lesson forward, not backward.

We pray for you now, that the Lord who hears you, as you say you are more immersed than ever in your relationship with Jesus, would keep you close to Himself. May He give you wisdom and discernment at these two gatherings, an open mind and an open heart that is also guarded and sober, confidence not in yourself but in Christ who has taught you from your youth, and a steady tongue to declare His wondrous works with grace. May He guard you from all unequally yoked entanglements, and if it be His will, may He in His perfect time bring to you that kind, patient, faithful woman who will see your devotion as good, who will love His Word, and who will walk beside you in a steady paced, strong communication, building a household where Christ is Husband to His people and you two are companions under Him. And may you, whether His answer comes quickly or after long waiting, find your heart still bearing His writing, preserved and sure, until He fulfills all His good purpose for you.

 

[The Encourager]

May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!

Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.

God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net

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