Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for opening your heart and sharing this burden so honestly. Your desire for love, for peace after past wounds, and for a stable home for you and your sons is understandable, and God sees all of it. Nothing about you is hidden from Him. He knows your weaknesses, your hopes, and your hurts with perfect compassion and understanding, and He cares for you deeply.
Because He cares so much, His first concern is not only the outward circumstances you mentioned but the deeper need of the heart. Often we pray most urgently for the symptoms, for healing in relationships, for open doors, for practical solutions, while God wants to deal first with the root, which is our standing before Him and the forgiveness of sins. Salvation through Jesus Christ is by far our greatest need. It is better to have every other question answered by God according to His wisdom than to have a relationship go the way we want while the heart remains unsettled before Him. That is why the most loving prayer begins with surrender to Christ, asking Him to be Lord of your life and to forgive and cleanse you, and praying the same for this man and for your sons.
Scripture teaches that marriage is not simply a matter of affection or companionship. From the beginning God made marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the two become one flesh, a profound unity. Jesus affirmed this and also affirmed that God will raise the dead, showing that His design for marriage belongs to this life and carries solemn responsibility before God. Because of that, a former marriage is not something to be lightly released or left behind in order to find happiness in a new love. God takes vows seriously, and His Word gives clear instruction about divorce and remarriage. Before praying for a proposal, a visa, or a new home together, it is essential to bring the past marriage honestly before the Lord in light of Scripture, to seek repentance where needed, healing where there has been wounding, and wise, faithful counsel from mature believers who will tell you the truth in love. To ask God to simply soften a heart to let go of the past misses what God may be calling that man to face before Him regarding his covenant.
The same is true for the steps you are hoping for. To pray that God would clear obstacles for a fiance visa and for a quick commitment is to ask Him to bless a path before you know that the path itself honors Him. A better prayer is to ask Him to order your steps even if that means slowing down, waiting, or stepping back. If you are living together or sharing intimacy outside of marriage, Scripture calls you to turn from that and to honor God with your bodies, keeping that union within marriage alone. That boundary is not meant to withhold joy but to protect you, your sons, and your witness.
Your sons are precious to God, and their need for a stable, godly home is real. Yet the deepest bond that will ever bless a family is not simply natural affection but the bond shared when each person belongs to the family of God through faith in Jesus. That spiritual family, united in Christ, is even closer than blood ties. The best gift you can give your sons is to model a love for Jesus that puts obedience to Him above every other desire, and to welcome into their lives only what is clearly built on that foundation.
So I would encourage you not to press forward seeking a proposal as confirmation of love, but to seek first the Lord Himself. Ask Him to grant you and this man clarity through His Word, not just through feelings. Ask Him to reveal any sin to be confessed, any wound to be healed His way, and any decision that would not honor His design for marriage. Ask Him to give you the courage to live in purity and accountability now, and to trust His timing to make things beautiful, which He does not by setting aside His commands but by leading obedient hearts into what is truly good.
My prayer for you is not that God would simply grant the outcome you have described, but that He would draw each of you into full trust in Jesus Christ, grant forgiveness and a clean conscience, heal every wound in His way, and give you wisdom to walk in a manner that honors Him above all else. If this relationship can be one that honors Him in truth, He will make that clear through Scripture, through godly counsel, and through a shared commitment to follow Him first. If it cannot, He will give you grace to release it and to find your peace and joy in Him, trusting Him to provide for you and your sons in the home He Himself builds.
May the Lord grant you a deep love for His Word, a willingness to obey what you find there, and a quiet confidence that His will, even when it requires waiting or surrender, is always the place of greatest safety and blessing.
Because He cares so much, His first concern is not only the outward circumstances you mentioned but the deeper need of the heart. Often we pray most urgently for the symptoms, for healing in relationships, for open doors, for practical solutions, while God wants to deal first with the root, which is our standing before Him and the forgiveness of sins. Salvation through Jesus Christ is by far our greatest need. It is better to have every other question answered by God according to His wisdom than to have a relationship go the way we want while the heart remains unsettled before Him. That is why the most loving prayer begins with surrender to Christ, asking Him to be Lord of your life and to forgive and cleanse you, and praying the same for this man and for your sons.
Scripture teaches that marriage is not simply a matter of affection or companionship. From the beginning God made marriage to be a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and the two become one flesh, a profound unity. Jesus affirmed this and also affirmed that God will raise the dead, showing that His design for marriage belongs to this life and carries solemn responsibility before God. Because of that, a former marriage is not something to be lightly released or left behind in order to find happiness in a new love. God takes vows seriously, and His Word gives clear instruction about divorce and remarriage. Before praying for a proposal, a visa, or a new home together, it is essential to bring the past marriage honestly before the Lord in light of Scripture, to seek repentance where needed, healing where there has been wounding, and wise, faithful counsel from mature believers who will tell you the truth in love. To ask God to simply soften a heart to let go of the past misses what God may be calling that man to face before Him regarding his covenant.
The same is true for the steps you are hoping for. To pray that God would clear obstacles for a fiance visa and for a quick commitment is to ask Him to bless a path before you know that the path itself honors Him. A better prayer is to ask Him to order your steps even if that means slowing down, waiting, or stepping back. If you are living together or sharing intimacy outside of marriage, Scripture calls you to turn from that and to honor God with your bodies, keeping that union within marriage alone. That boundary is not meant to withhold joy but to protect you, your sons, and your witness.
Your sons are precious to God, and their need for a stable, godly home is real. Yet the deepest bond that will ever bless a family is not simply natural affection but the bond shared when each person belongs to the family of God through faith in Jesus. That spiritual family, united in Christ, is even closer than blood ties. The best gift you can give your sons is to model a love for Jesus that puts obedience to Him above every other desire, and to welcome into their lives only what is clearly built on that foundation.
So I would encourage you not to press forward seeking a proposal as confirmation of love, but to seek first the Lord Himself. Ask Him to grant you and this man clarity through His Word, not just through feelings. Ask Him to reveal any sin to be confessed, any wound to be healed His way, and any decision that would not honor His design for marriage. Ask Him to give you the courage to live in purity and accountability now, and to trust His timing to make things beautiful, which He does not by setting aside His commands but by leading obedient hearts into what is truly good.
My prayer for you is not that God would simply grant the outcome you have described, but that He would draw each of you into full trust in Jesus Christ, grant forgiveness and a clean conscience, heal every wound in His way, and give you wisdom to walk in a manner that honors Him above all else. If this relationship can be one that honors Him in truth, He will make that clear through Scripture, through godly counsel, and through a shared commitment to follow Him first. If it cannot, He will give you grace to release it and to find your peace and joy in Him, trusting Him to provide for you and your sons in the home He Himself builds.
May the Lord grant you a deep love for His Word, a willingness to obey what you find there, and a quiet confidence that His will, even when it requires waiting or surrender, is always the place of greatest safety and blessing.
