You seek a life partner, and you ask prayer that both may be ready. That is a good desire, but let us consider what readiness truly means. Many think of wealth, a home, or a settled station. But the readiness that matters first is the readiness of the soul. Before you prepare a house, prepare your heart. For if a man is not master of his passions, if he has not learned to pour out his own desires as readily as water, then even a sunbeam will seem to throw his house into disorder. The war within is fiercer than any outward battle, and marriage without self-mastery is a field of daily wounds.
Do not delay marriage beyond reason. I speak plainly, as a father who cares for your purity. When a young man is grown, before he enters his life’s work, let him take a bride. Too often parents wait for greater income, and in that waiting the soul is soiled. Fornication and adultery spring from this very delay, from young men left unrestrained. If Isaac could remain a virgin until forty, how much more should those under grace guard themselves? But if you prolong the time, the flame of desire will not be mocked. The root of this evil is often the love of money, which cares nothing for sobriety and modesty. Do not let gold rule over chastity.
Marriage itself is honorable and pure, a safeguard for the holiness that comes from faith. It does not grant holiness on its own, but it preserves the body from defilement when used with moderation. The aim is not indecency or laughter, but a partnership for life and for the procreation of children. A chaste bride teaches a husband gravity; a prudent wife cares for honor and household. But if a man has already made himself a vessel of disgrace before marriage, he will soon tire of his wife and return to wantonness, treating his home as a thing unpleasing to him. How then shall you pray? Pray not only for a partner, but that you yourself become the kind of spouse who can live in peace with all and in holiness. That holiness means ordering your life in chastity whether single or married, and not defiling what God has given.
Use marriage with moderation, and you will be first in the kingdom. Let no one say that wedlock hinders the heavenly life. It is not the wine but the excess that brings drunkenness. If you cling to riches, to houses, to inordinate affections, you will be weighed down. But if you hold all things lightly and set your mind on God, marriage becomes a school of virtue. Prepare yourself now by giving alms from a pure heart, by repenting of covetousness, by attending to prayer and good works. The readiness you need is not a full purse but a soul alive from the dead, eagerly marshalled under Christ who raised you. Then, whether you marry or remain as you are, you will seek the one thing needful: to follow peace and that holiness without which no one will see the Lord.