We hear the deep longing in your heart for a godly wife and a marriage that honors the Lord, and we join you in bringing this desire before our Father together in Jesus name. Your daily prayers for your future wife are not selfish and they are not foolish, they are pleasing to God. He invites us to bring our desires to Him continually. Philippians 4:6 says In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And Psalm 37:4 says Delight yourself also in Yahweh, and he will give you the desires of your heart. The fact that you cannot stop praying is a sign that God has placed this holy desire for marriage in you, and He hears every prayer.
We want to speak clearly and lovingly about what you encountered on that date. A woman who is still married, even if she calls it an open marriage and speaks highly of her husband, is still bound in covenant marriage before God. An open marriage is not open in the eyes of God, it is adultery. Exodus 20:14 says You shall not commit adultery. Hebrews 13:4 says Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. And Jesus said in Matthew 19:6 So that they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, do not let man tear apart. We commend you for walking away and for recognizing this was not right, and we urge you not to entertain courtship or any romantic or sexual involvement with a married woman, nor with any woman who is in any form of adulterous or sexually immoral relationship. We also hear that you have a crush on someone unavailable and you are giving it to God daily, that is exactly what you should do. We encourage you to guard your heart, to not nurture fantasies or emotional entanglements with someone who cannot righteously be pursued for marriage, and to flee from fornication. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. A godly courtship is with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer who is free to marry, and we pray you will only pursue a woman who is a faithful follower of Jesus, not unequally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Proverbs 18:22 says Whoever finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor of Yahweh. We pray for that kind of favor over you, a marriage between a man and a woman as God designed from the beginning in Genesis 2:24, a lifelong covenant that reflects Christ and the church.
We also hear the pain in your words when you say you feel like a fool, or that the heavens are laughing at you, or that God has jokes at your expense, and that you feel punished for being lost for a long time. We want to rebuke that lie gently but firmly, because it does not align with the character of God. God is not mocking you. He is not punishing you for your past when you have come to Him through Jesus. Psalm 34:18 says Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 103:8 says Yahweh is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abundant in loving kindness. If you are in Christ, Romans 8:1 says There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus. Lamentations 3:22-23 says It is because of Yahweh's loving kindnesses that we are not consumed, because his compassion does not fail. They are new every morning. Great is your faithfulness. Your feeling that you have missed so much time with your future wife already is understandable, but God's timing is perfect and nothing is wasted when we seek Him. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says He has made everything beautiful in its time. Isaiah 55:8-9 says For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, says Yahweh. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Romans 8:28 says We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose. You are not being laughed at, you are being loved, shaped, and prepared, and your future wife is being prepared as well.
You mentioned that Jesus died for us so you forgive yourself and accept whatever God has for you, and we rejoice that you name the name of Jesus, for it is only through Him we have access to the Father. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Ephesians 1:7 says In him we have our redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace. Your forgiveness does not come from forgiving yourself, it comes from receiving His forgiveness by faith, and we encourage you to rest in that finished work.
We also encourage you regarding church and your daily walk. We understand you overslept and plan to listen to your sermon online, and we are glad you will still hear the Word, but we urge you not to make a habit of forsaking gathering together. Hebrews 10:25 says Not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching. Being present with the body of Christ strengthens faith, provides community, and keeps us accountable in our pursuit of purity and marriage. Continue to seek first His kingdom. Matthew 6:33 says But seek first God's Kingdom, and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Keep faithful in your classes and your sports, stewarding well the season God has you in now while you wait. Psalm 27:14 says Wait for Yahweh. Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for Yahweh. And Proverbs 3:5-6 says Trust in Yahweh with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
We want to pray together with you now.
Father, in Jesus name we lift up this brother to You. We thank You for his tender heart that longs for a faith focused wife and a marriage that honors You. We ask You to forgive him for any past wandering and to cleanse him and strengthen him in Your grace. Lord, heal the lie that he is a fool or that You are laughing at him, and reveal to him how deeply You love him and delight in his prayers. Give him patience and courage in this waiting season, and help him to trust that Your timing is good and that You have not forgotten him. Guard his heart and his eyes from adultery, fornication, and any entanglement with those who are married or unavailable, and give him discernment to walk away from what is not holy. Prepare him to be a godly husband, faithful, pure, prayerful, and leading in love, and prepare his future wife wherever she is, drawing her closer to Jesus, keeping her pure, and making her ready for covenant marriage. Bring them together in Your perfect time, a man and a woman united for life to glorify You. Help him to remain faithful in fellowship, in Your Word, and in prayer, and to find his confidence not in what he tells his friends but in who he is in Christ. Let Your will be done in his life, and let him feel Your peace that surpasses understanding as he waits for You. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
We stand with you, brother. Keep praying, keep trusting, keep walking in purity and in fellowship. God has not forgotten you, and He will not withhold good from those who walk uprightly. Psalm 84:11 says For Yahweh God is a sun and a shield. Yahweh will give grace and glory. He withholds no good thing from those who walk blamelessly.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. 
