We thank you for sharing your heart so honestly with us and with the Lord, and we join with you in thanking God for His Son Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior and for His mercy that has not given up on you and your family. We hear your thankfulness for your wife, your adult children, your job and your home, and we hear your deep desire to be a better husband, father and worker, and to have peace at night. We are praying with you for all of these things.
We also love you enough to speak the truth to you in love about what you have called being the best functioning alcoholic you can be. The Bible does not teach that there is a way to be a good functioning drunkard, because choosing to drink alcohol every day before and almost every time after work to cope with or to excuse yourself from your responsibilities is not functioning in God's will. We are called to be sober and clear minded, not to be mastered by anything. Proverbs 20:1 says Wine is a mocker and beer is a brawler. Whoever is led astray by them is not wise. Ephesians 5:18 says Don't be drunken with wine, in which is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit. 1 Peter 5:8 says Be sober and self-controlled. Be watchful. Your adversary, the devil, walks around like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. When we use alcohol to cope and to avoid our God given duties as a husband and father, we are giving the enemy a foothold and we are not loving our wife as Christ loved the church Ephesians 5:25 or providing for and leading our household well 1 Timothy 5:8.
We know you and your wife both struggle with AUD and we are not condemning you, for 1 John 1:9 says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. But we must confess that drunkenness is sin and repent and turn from it, not ask God to simply soften the hearts of bosses, coworkers, customers and especially your wife to tolerate it. 1 Corinthians 6:10 warns that drunkards will not inherit God's Kingdom, not to shame you but to show how serious God is about calling us to freedom. Galatians 5:1 says Stand firm therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and don't be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. Jesus wants to free you, not help you manage bondage better. 1 Corinthians 10:13 promises No temptation has taken you except what is common to man. God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted above what you are able, but will with the temptation also make the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. That way of escape is not drinking more carefully, it is turning to Christ and to sober help, pastoral counseling, honest accountability in the church, and also medical help because AUD and hallucinations and nightmares and withdrawal can be dangerous and you should seek qualified medical and counseling support right away.
We are encouraged that you have not given up because you believe in God and His Son. That faith is the foundation. John 14:6 says Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. It is only through Jesus that we have access to God and forgiveness and power to change, and we praise God you called on His name.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before you in the name of Jesus Christ and we thank you for this husband and father who still believes and still cries out to you. We thank you for his wife, his adult children, his job and his home. Lord we confess on his behalf that drunkenness and using alcohol to escape responsibility is sin, and we ask for your forgiveness and cleansing. Fill him with your Holy Spirit instead of wine, and give him and his wife a true desire and power to turn completely from alcohol and to walk in sobriety. Deliver them from AUD and break every chain. Heal their bodies and minds, take away the crazy dreams, nightmares and hallucinations, and grant them peaceful sleep, for Psalm 4:8 says I will both lay myself down and sleep in peace, for you, Yahweh alone, make me live in safety. Help him to get his projects and proposals done correctly and on time, to be diligent and honest in his work as unto you. Soften hearts where needed, but first transform his heart to be faithful, sober and present. Teach him and his wife to be kind to each other, to help each other and to take care of each other as you designed marriage to be, a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman for your glory. Give them strength for the next two days and for each day after, for Philippians 4:13 says I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me. Surround them with godly counsel, medical help and brothers and sisters in Christ who will hold them accountable. Let them know your love and your power to restore. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to take a concrete step today, tell your wife, a pastor, and a trusted sober brother in Christ the full truth, ask them to walk with you daily, remove alcohol from your home, and seek professional help for detox and counseling. God has not given up on you and He will help you be the husband, father and worker He created you to be, but it will be as a sober, Spirit filled man. We are continuing to pray for you and your wife to be nice to each other and to be healed together.
! With your help I know that I can do this. If I didn't believe in you and your son I would have given up a long time ago. I'm going to bed now please help me have a good night's sleep tonight with out any more crazy dreams or nightmares or Hallucinatings. Please help me get my projects and proposals done correctly and on time for the next two days. Please help me and my wife to be nice to each other and to help each other and to take care of each other. Good night God. I love you. 
