Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your honest and broken prayer has been heard, and I thank you for pouring out your heart so plainly before the Lord. The weight you carry is very heavy. A strained marriage, drink that has taken hold of you both, a home that seems to be breaking down around you with water through the ceiling and termites in the wood, an air conditioner that will not be fixed, an adult son still under your roof, and weariness that makes you say you do not want to live like this anymore. God sees all of this, and He does not turn away from a sinner who cries to Him.
You speak of giving up, of divorce, of selling all and going away to live alone until you die, and of not wanting to live at all. Hear what the Scripture teaches about such despair. Despair is useless. It has never helped a man, it does not keep him from sin, it only makes him sit in darkness chilled and benumbed. Despair is a high insult to God, for it says that His mercy is not enough and His arm is not strong enough to save. It degrades a man below the brute, and it crowns the enemy of souls in Christ's stead. No man has a right to despair while there is a God in heaven and while Jesus Christ has shed His precious blood for sinners. While life lasts, while mercy's gate stands wide open, while the silver bell still rings, Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, despair is not warranted. God is the sinner's hope, and He is not lost.
When a coming sinner draws near to the Saviour, the enemy often throws him down and tears him, so that he suffers exceedingly in mind and is well nigh ready to give up. What you feel, that tearing and casting down, is not the work of the Holy Spirit driving you to destruction. It is the adversary trying to keep you in bondage and darkness. But it is written, He is able to save to the uttermost all who come unto God by Him, and Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. If you are between the very jaws of hell, Christ is able to snatch you forth. Saints who are now among the brightest in heaven have sat weeping at the gates of despair, and the Lord heard the voice of their supplication when they cried unto Him.
Hope is well grounded, for there is corn in Egypt. There is mercy in Christ. Action is reasonable. Get you down there and buy, that you may live and not die. Do but cry, dear heart, out of your soul's despair, and the Lord's infinite goodness will constrain Him to come to you. He has taught you to cry and He will assuredly answer your prayer, and that answer goes beyond the promise.
In that hope, I urge you not to make solemn and lasting decisions in this dark hour. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman before God, and it is not to be put asunder in haste or in bitterness. The Lord who joined you together is able to teach you both to be kind and tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. To be nice to each other will not come by willpower alone while drink still rules in the house. Both of you drinking too much will only fuel unkind words and yelling and make every other burden heavier. Own this plainly before God, confess it as sin, and seek help to turn from it. Speak to your pastor, to a faithful brother in the church, to a biblical counselor, or to a group that helps those bound by alcohol. Bring your wife into that conversation with gentleness when you are both sober, and seek counsel together.
The house itself, the roof, the water, the termites, the air conditioner, the finances, the life insurance, the thoughts about cremation so your children will not be burdened, these are real cares, but they are not the measure of your life. Do not sell all in despair or cancel provision for your family while your mind is overwhelmed. Attend to what is needful day by day, do honest work as God gives you strength, and seek wise and trustworthy help for the repairs. Your desire to spare your son and daughter extra burden is understandable, yet the greatest gift you can give them is not arrangements for death but a father who seeks the Lord and walks in hope while God gives him breath.
You thank God for your Saviour Jesus Christ, and that is where you must stand. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, by His blood and righteousness, not by your own merit or your own ability to fix everything. Cast yourself upon Him anew. Confess your sins, ask His forgiveness, and ask Him to keep you.
If you feel you may act on thoughts of not wanting to live, please reach out at once to someone near you, a pastor, a family member, a trusted friend, a counselor, or call or text 988 if you are in the United States, or go to your nearest emergency department. If you are alone tonight, do not remain alone. Tell someone where you are and how you feel. You do not need to face this night by yourself, and your life is precious to God.
You asked for prayer for the one you called a beautiful flower who has prayed for you. The Lord knows her and will take care of her as you have asked.
May the Lord lift you from this despondency, give you sobriety and strength for tomorrow's work, soften both your hearts toward each other, and keep you from the lie that you are beyond help. Cry to Him again and again. He hears the voice of your supplication. Seek help from His people without delay, and do not give way to the voice that says give up. Christ is able to save, and while He lives, there is hope.
I will pray that God will have mercy upon you and your wife and your son and daughter, that He will bring peace into your home, deliver you from the power of strong drink, and set your feet upon the Rock who never fails.
You speak of giving up, of divorce, of selling all and going away to live alone until you die, and of not wanting to live at all. Hear what the Scripture teaches about such despair. Despair is useless. It has never helped a man, it does not keep him from sin, it only makes him sit in darkness chilled and benumbed. Despair is a high insult to God, for it says that His mercy is not enough and His arm is not strong enough to save. It degrades a man below the brute, and it crowns the enemy of souls in Christ's stead. No man has a right to despair while there is a God in heaven and while Jesus Christ has shed His precious blood for sinners. While life lasts, while mercy's gate stands wide open, while the silver bell still rings, Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, despair is not warranted. God is the sinner's hope, and He is not lost.
When a coming sinner draws near to the Saviour, the enemy often throws him down and tears him, so that he suffers exceedingly in mind and is well nigh ready to give up. What you feel, that tearing and casting down, is not the work of the Holy Spirit driving you to destruction. It is the adversary trying to keep you in bondage and darkness. But it is written, He is able to save to the uttermost all who come unto God by Him, and Him that cometh to me I will in no wise cast out. If you are between the very jaws of hell, Christ is able to snatch you forth. Saints who are now among the brightest in heaven have sat weeping at the gates of despair, and the Lord heard the voice of their supplication when they cried unto Him.
Hope is well grounded, for there is corn in Egypt. There is mercy in Christ. Action is reasonable. Get you down there and buy, that you may live and not die. Do but cry, dear heart, out of your soul's despair, and the Lord's infinite goodness will constrain Him to come to you. He has taught you to cry and He will assuredly answer your prayer, and that answer goes beyond the promise.
In that hope, I urge you not to make solemn and lasting decisions in this dark hour. Marriage is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman before God, and it is not to be put asunder in haste or in bitterness. The Lord who joined you together is able to teach you both to be kind and tenderhearted, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven you. To be nice to each other will not come by willpower alone while drink still rules in the house. Both of you drinking too much will only fuel unkind words and yelling and make every other burden heavier. Own this plainly before God, confess it as sin, and seek help to turn from it. Speak to your pastor, to a faithful brother in the church, to a biblical counselor, or to a group that helps those bound by alcohol. Bring your wife into that conversation with gentleness when you are both sober, and seek counsel together.
The house itself, the roof, the water, the termites, the air conditioner, the finances, the life insurance, the thoughts about cremation so your children will not be burdened, these are real cares, but they are not the measure of your life. Do not sell all in despair or cancel provision for your family while your mind is overwhelmed. Attend to what is needful day by day, do honest work as God gives you strength, and seek wise and trustworthy help for the repairs. Your desire to spare your son and daughter extra burden is understandable, yet the greatest gift you can give them is not arrangements for death but a father who seeks the Lord and walks in hope while God gives him breath.
You thank God for your Saviour Jesus Christ, and that is where you must stand. Salvation is through Jesus Christ alone, by His blood and righteousness, not by your own merit or your own ability to fix everything. Cast yourself upon Him anew. Confess your sins, ask His forgiveness, and ask Him to keep you.
If you feel you may act on thoughts of not wanting to live, please reach out at once to someone near you, a pastor, a family member, a trusted friend, a counselor, or call or text 988 if you are in the United States, or go to your nearest emergency department. If you are alone tonight, do not remain alone. Tell someone where you are and how you feel. You do not need to face this night by yourself, and your life is precious to God.
You asked for prayer for the one you called a beautiful flower who has prayed for you. The Lord knows her and will take care of her as you have asked.
May the Lord lift you from this despondency, give you sobriety and strength for tomorrow's work, soften both your hearts toward each other, and keep you from the lie that you are beyond help. Cry to Him again and again. He hears the voice of your supplication. Seek help from His people without delay, and do not give way to the voice that says give up. Christ is able to save, and while He lives, there is hope.
I will pray that God will have mercy upon you and your wife and your son and daughter, that He will bring peace into your home, deliver you from the power of strong drink, and set your feet upon the Rock who never fails.
