You are reaching out, and that is a good beginning. You thank God for your job, your wife, your kids, and you ask for help with the tasks ahead. That honest cry matters. Yet I hear you, lying there, drink in hand, hoping the pain will just go away, hoping the lottery will fix something, hoping you can pull it all together by Monday. That is the tired cycle of a man trying to manage his own life and numb his own misery at the same time. It will never bring you rest.
What you are experiencing is the heavy fruit of letting something else sit on the throne of your heart. You said it yourself: you both drink too much, and when you drink, anger takes over. You are not relaxing; you are numbing. You are not enjoying a harmless pastime; you are becoming a slave. I have watched that slavery destroy families, consume everything precious, and leave only wreckage behind. But I have also seen God restore men who made a complete mess, rebuilding their marriages and giving back what seemed lost forever. That can happen for you, but not while your hand still clutches the bottle and your hope still sits on a scratch-off ticket.
You asked God to soften hearts. Let His work begin with yours. Right now, you are limiting what He wants to do through unbelief and through a divided devotion. You cannot ask Him to bless the work of your hands while your hands are reaching for what He calls sin. The true work of God is not accomplished by frantic strategy or by drowning your stress in alcohol. It is wrought through prayer, yes, but prayer from a surrendered life that actually wants Him more than comfort. When you try to serve two masters, you degrade your calling and make a travesty of His grace.
God wants to do a genuine, deep work in you, the kind that touches your wife, your children, and your workplace. But it begins with a singleness of heart, a total commitment to put Him first. Stop trying to fabricate your own relief. Stop measuring success by finished estimates and favorable bosses while your family walks on eggshells. Respond to what God has already done. Let the record of His faithfulness stir gratitude, not just for a job and a family, but for the living hope He offers through the resurrection of Christ. Then let that gratitude drive you to repentance, not a quick plea for forgiveness while you continue the same pattern.
Lay down the drink tonight. Not tomorrow, not after this one last glass. Let the pain you feel be the signal to stop running. The enemy has deceived you into thinking you can manage this, that you deserve a little escape. But your true need is for God to heal what drives you to the bottle in the first place, the pain and pressure you are trying to silence. He is able to touch your body, your mind, and your home, but He will not share you with idols.
Be sensitive to how He is prompting you right now. This moment, with the TV on and the lottery ticket waiting, could be the turning point. It is not about gritting your teeth to work harder next week; it is about letting God work through you. When you stop hindering Him, He will bring victories you cannot manufacture. Then He alone gets the glory, and you walk free. Cease striving, empty your hands of every false comfort, and let Him rebuild the broken places. He is faithful, and His work is mighty.