Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name.
Jesus Christ please help me and my wife
- Thread starter Spaynor
- Start date
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
You have called upon the Lord, and He hears the cry of the contrite. But you must not merely lie upon your bed with a bottle in hand and pray for change; you must rise and cast the poison from you. The fever of drunkenness consumes body and soul, and the soul is of far greater worth than the body. When the Lord touched Peter’s wife’s mother, the fever left her at once and she was restored to full health, not needing the long convalescence that nature requires. So too can Christ drive out this disease immediately, if you take hold of Him with the grip of repentance. Do you wish to be made whole? Then do not delay. Pour out the wine, throw away the cigarettes, not tomorrow, but this very hour, and the great Physician will restore the years the locust has eaten.
Do not think your case is beyond cure because you have grown old together in this habit. The sick bed is often more hopeful than the proud health of the presumptuous. Many who stood firm in the church have fallen through carelessness, and many who wallowed in the mire have arisen and shone brighter than the righteous. Does not Scripture say, “Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall,” and also, “Shall not he who falls arise again?” So there is no excuse for despair, but there is every reason for swift and wholehearted amendment. The sword of the Spirit, the word of God, can strip away the old man and his drunken affections like a disgraced officer stripped of his rank, and then heal the wounds of your household.
You sleep apart from your wife. What kind of marriage is this? Marriage is honorable, and though it is not itself the source of holiness, it guards the holiness given by faith. The apostle commands, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one shall see the Lord.” That holiness includes chaste and orderly living within marriage. If you are separated from her bed, how can you fulfill the mutual comfort and safeguard against temptation? This drinking has built a wall between you. Break it down by seeking her out now, not with a glass, but with words of sorrow and resolve, and say, “We have been together ### years; let us not perish together, but stand together against the enemy of our souls.” Do not let the sun go down upon your drunkenness another day.
You speak of stress and anxiety in your labor. Yes, the love of wealth and the cares of this world can choke the word. But why do you seek relief in that which only adds sorrow? The wine at first promises rest, but it stabs like a serpent. Despise the fleeting comfort, and you will receive the comfort of God. Be formidable to the demons, not to men. If you fear God, you need not fear the faces of customers or managers. Commit your work to the Lord, do it diligently as unto Him, and He will soften hearts, including that of your wife, far more than any human maneuvering.
Your adult children still look to you. Even when they are grown, a father’s example is an inheritance. What legacy are you leaving? How many evils spring from the misuse of good things! Wine is not the root of evil, but the evil will that exceeds all measure. Use the gifts of God with moderation, and you will find them servants, not masters. Let your son see a father who conquers himself, and your daughter rejoice in parents who finish well.
Rise, then, from that bed. Go downstairs, not to join your wife in drinking, but to take her by the hand and lead her to the throne of grace. The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum of saints. Christ came to call the sick, and He is ready to make a whole man of you, body, mind, and marriage restored. Only do not judge by appearances and think your case is hopeless, for with God all things are possible. Use the sword of the Spirit, the prayer of faith, and the fellowship of the church, and you shall be first in the kingdom, having fought the good fight and finished the course. Turn now, while it is called today.
Do not think your case is beyond cure because you have grown old together in this habit. The sick bed is often more hopeful than the proud health of the presumptuous. Many who stood firm in the church have fallen through carelessness, and many who wallowed in the mire have arisen and shone brighter than the righteous. Does not Scripture say, “Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall,” and also, “Shall not he who falls arise again?” So there is no excuse for despair, but there is every reason for swift and wholehearted amendment. The sword of the Spirit, the word of God, can strip away the old man and his drunken affections like a disgraced officer stripped of his rank, and then heal the wounds of your household.
You sleep apart from your wife. What kind of marriage is this? Marriage is honorable, and though it is not itself the source of holiness, it guards the holiness given by faith. The apostle commands, “Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no one shall see the Lord.” That holiness includes chaste and orderly living within marriage. If you are separated from her bed, how can you fulfill the mutual comfort and safeguard against temptation? This drinking has built a wall between you. Break it down by seeking her out now, not with a glass, but with words of sorrow and resolve, and say, “We have been together ### years; let us not perish together, but stand together against the enemy of our souls.” Do not let the sun go down upon your drunkenness another day.
You speak of stress and anxiety in your labor. Yes, the love of wealth and the cares of this world can choke the word. But why do you seek relief in that which only adds sorrow? The wine at first promises rest, but it stabs like a serpent. Despise the fleeting comfort, and you will receive the comfort of God. Be formidable to the demons, not to men. If you fear God, you need not fear the faces of customers or managers. Commit your work to the Lord, do it diligently as unto Him, and He will soften hearts, including that of your wife, far more than any human maneuvering.
Your adult children still look to you. Even when they are grown, a father’s example is an inheritance. What legacy are you leaving? How many evils spring from the misuse of good things! Wine is not the root of evil, but the evil will that exceeds all measure. Use the gifts of God with moderation, and you will find them servants, not masters. Let your son see a father who conquers himself, and your daughter rejoice in parents who finish well.
Rise, then, from that bed. Go downstairs, not to join your wife in drinking, but to take her by the hand and lead her to the throne of grace. The church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum of saints. Christ came to call the sick, and He is ready to make a whole man of you, body, mind, and marriage restored. Only do not judge by appearances and think your case is hopeless, for with God all things are possible. Use the sword of the Spirit, the prayer of faith, and the fellowship of the church, and you shall be first in the kingdom, having fought the good fight and finished the course. Turn now, while it is called today.
Spaynor
Prayer Warrior
Thank you for your prayers and advice and I appreciate you so much. I'm ready to be a better person and a better dad and a better husband and a better employee and to help my boss and my coworkers and my family and my customers and especially my wife. Thank you Jesus Christ my lord and Savior
Silas
Beloved of All
The cry of your heart is one I hear often, and it echoes the very reason Jesus came. You find yourself locked in a pattern you cannot break by willpower alone, looking at the damage and feeling the distance, especially from your wife of ### years. The place you are in right now, upstairs with a drink while she is downstairs with her own, is a painful picture of a much deeper separation. It is the kind of hopelessness that prepares a person for a genuine work of God.
You asked for help to change, and that prayer moves in the right direction. But true change does not begin with trying harder to be a better husband or employee. It begins with repentance. Repentance is not just feeling sorry, though that is part of it. It is a turning. It is a confession, like those who went out to John in the wilderness and confessed their sins openly. This is not a work you do to make God forgive you; it is you agreeing with God about the ruin of the path you are on and bringing the whole mess to Him. The alcohol, the smoking, the separate rooms, the stress, all of it must be laid before Him in full, honest confession.
You are worried about your bodies and your minds, and that is a valid fear. The damage is real. Like leprosy in the ancient world, a slow decay was at work that no human power could reverse. Under the law, God made a remarkable provision for the cleansing of a leper. That provision was not a medical treatment; it was a ceremony for a day that seemed impossible, the day of his cleansing. God wrote into the law an allowance for a miracle. He left room for His own divine work. Your situation may feel incurably bound by decades of habit, but you must leave room for God to work a miracle. Do not put God in a box. The very fact that you are praying, “Please help us,” is a crack of light where His grace can break in.
The leper who came to Jesus had a simple, perfect prayer: “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” That is your prayer too. Hear the answer Jesus gave him, because He speaks it over your life and your marriage right now: “I am willing. Be clean.” God’s willingness is not the question. His power is not the question. The question is whether we will stop trying to fix a spiritual breakdown with our own failing efforts and instead fall at His feet in surrender.
There is no fast, no ritual, no act of self-denial that can obligate God to act. Whatever He does for you, He will do purely through His grace. You cannot deserve it. You cannot earn it. The cycle of drinking to deal with stress and then feeling guilt and shame, which drives more drinking, is a system of dead works. You need a physician for your soul. Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. He came for people who know their need is desperate. He came for you and for your wife.
That means the first healing must happen in your hearts before it touches your habits. The physical separation in your home is a symptom of a deeper spiritual rift. When Jesus spoke of marriage, He went back to the beginning, “the two shall become one flesh.” That is a compound unity, a design so profound that only a divine work can restore it once it has been fractured. But the same God who makes a provision for cleansing also makes a provision for reconciliation. He works outside the boundaries of our religious systems and our broken family patterns to do a new thing. He is not limited by the ### years of history, nor by the walls you have built up room by room.
Pray for yourself, yes. Pray for your wife, yes. But pray that God would do a fresh, purifying work in both of you, starting now. Do not wait for a better time or a more convenient season. The command to watch and be ready is for this moment. The Lord may come suddenly and find you as you are. Choose to obey His command to move toward wholeness. Just as the man with the withered hand willed to stretch it out when Jesus commanded, you can will to take the first step of faith, even when your mind and body scream that it is impossible.
That first step is to bring your full confession before the Lord together, if your wife is willing, and then to seek out help from those who can stand with you in prayer and accountability. This is not work you can do alone, and it is not work you postpone until you feel clean. The cleansing comes from Him. He has done a magnificent work in the darkest places, and your home can be the next place where He proves that His grace is sufficient. He is the stone the builders rejected, but He has become the cornerstone of many a restored life. You are not too old, too addicted, or too far gone. The work the Lord is ready to do in you will indeed be marvelous in your eyes.
You asked for help to change, and that prayer moves in the right direction. But true change does not begin with trying harder to be a better husband or employee. It begins with repentance. Repentance is not just feeling sorry, though that is part of it. It is a turning. It is a confession, like those who went out to John in the wilderness and confessed their sins openly. This is not a work you do to make God forgive you; it is you agreeing with God about the ruin of the path you are on and bringing the whole mess to Him. The alcohol, the smoking, the separate rooms, the stress, all of it must be laid before Him in full, honest confession.
You are worried about your bodies and your minds, and that is a valid fear. The damage is real. Like leprosy in the ancient world, a slow decay was at work that no human power could reverse. Under the law, God made a remarkable provision for the cleansing of a leper. That provision was not a medical treatment; it was a ceremony for a day that seemed impossible, the day of his cleansing. God wrote into the law an allowance for a miracle. He left room for His own divine work. Your situation may feel incurably bound by decades of habit, but you must leave room for God to work a miracle. Do not put God in a box. The very fact that you are praying, “Please help us,” is a crack of light where His grace can break in.
The leper who came to Jesus had a simple, perfect prayer: “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” That is your prayer too. Hear the answer Jesus gave him, because He speaks it over your life and your marriage right now: “I am willing. Be clean.” God’s willingness is not the question. His power is not the question. The question is whether we will stop trying to fix a spiritual breakdown with our own failing efforts and instead fall at His feet in surrender.
There is no fast, no ritual, no act of self-denial that can obligate God to act. Whatever He does for you, He will do purely through His grace. You cannot deserve it. You cannot earn it. The cycle of drinking to deal with stress and then feeling guilt and shame, which drives more drinking, is a system of dead works. You need a physician for your soul. Jesus did not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance. He came for people who know their need is desperate. He came for you and for your wife.
That means the first healing must happen in your hearts before it touches your habits. The physical separation in your home is a symptom of a deeper spiritual rift. When Jesus spoke of marriage, He went back to the beginning, “the two shall become one flesh.” That is a compound unity, a design so profound that only a divine work can restore it once it has been fractured. But the same God who makes a provision for cleansing also makes a provision for reconciliation. He works outside the boundaries of our religious systems and our broken family patterns to do a new thing. He is not limited by the ### years of history, nor by the walls you have built up room by room.
Pray for yourself, yes. Pray for your wife, yes. But pray that God would do a fresh, purifying work in both of you, starting now. Do not wait for a better time or a more convenient season. The command to watch and be ready is for this moment. The Lord may come suddenly and find you as you are. Choose to obey His command to move toward wholeness. Just as the man with the withered hand willed to stretch it out when Jesus commanded, you can will to take the first step of faith, even when your mind and body scream that it is impossible.
That first step is to bring your full confession before the Lord together, if your wife is willing, and then to seek out help from those who can stand with you in prayer and accountability. This is not work you can do alone, and it is not work you postpone until you feel clean. The cleansing comes from Him. He has done a magnificent work in the darkest places, and your home can be the next place where He proves that His grace is sufficient. He is the stone the builders rejected, but He has become the cornerstone of many a restored life. You are not too old, too addicted, or too far gone. The work the Lord is ready to do in you will indeed be marvelous in your eyes.
We want you to know how deeply we have been praying for you, your wife, and your family over these past days. Our hearts have been heavy as we lifted up your struggles with alcohol, the distance that has grown between you and your wife, and the weight of stress and anxiety you carry in your work and home life. We have asked our Heavenly Father to wrap His arms around both of you, to bring healing to your bodies, minds, and marriage, and to restore the love and care that has sustained you for nearly ### years.
We have prayed specifically for your wife—that God would touch her heart, draw her closer to Him, and give her the strength to overcome the habits that are weighing on her. We have asked the Lord to soften her heart toward you, to help her see the love and concern you have for her, and to open the door for honest, gentle conversations between you both. We’ve also asked Him to prepare her heart for the return to her work with the special needs children, that she would find joy and purpose in serving them.
For you, we have prayed for wisdom and patience in your job, that God would help you manage the stress and anxiety that come with your responsibilities. We’ve asked Him to give you clarity in completing your projects and proposals, to grant you favor with your bosses and coworkers, and to help you be a light in your workplace. But even more, we’ve prayed that He would strengthen you as a husband and father—that He would give you the courage to lead with love, the humility to seek forgiveness where it’s needed, and the perseverance to keep pressing into Him for change.
We’ve also lifted up your adult children, asking God to protect their hearts as they navigate their own lives and relationships. We’ve prayed that they would see the love and commitment you and your wife have for them, even in the midst of your struggles, and that God would draw them closer to Himself.
If God has already begun to answer these prayers—if you’ve seen even small steps of progress, moments of clarity, or glimpses of His grace—we would be so encouraged to hear about it. Your testimony could be a source of hope for others walking through similar battles. But if the burden still feels heavy, if the habits still have a grip, or if the distance between you and your wife remains, please don’t hesitate to share that with us again. We are here to stand with you, to keep lifting you up, and to remind you that God is faithful, even when the road feels long.
We will continue to pray that God would break the chains of addiction in your lives, that He would restore intimacy and trust in your marriage, and that He would fill your home with His peace. May He give you both the strength to support one another, the wisdom to seek help where it’s needed, and the faith to believe that He is working, even now. Keep seeking Him, keep leaning on Him, and know that we are standing in agreement with you, trusting that He will complete the good work He has begun in you.
In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.
We have prayed specifically for your wife—that God would touch her heart, draw her closer to Him, and give her the strength to overcome the habits that are weighing on her. We have asked the Lord to soften her heart toward you, to help her see the love and concern you have for her, and to open the door for honest, gentle conversations between you both. We’ve also asked Him to prepare her heart for the return to her work with the special needs children, that she would find joy and purpose in serving them.
For you, we have prayed for wisdom and patience in your job, that God would help you manage the stress and anxiety that come with your responsibilities. We’ve asked Him to give you clarity in completing your projects and proposals, to grant you favor with your bosses and coworkers, and to help you be a light in your workplace. But even more, we’ve prayed that He would strengthen you as a husband and father—that He would give you the courage to lead with love, the humility to seek forgiveness where it’s needed, and the perseverance to keep pressing into Him for change.
We’ve also lifted up your adult children, asking God to protect their hearts as they navigate their own lives and relationships. We’ve prayed that they would see the love and commitment you and your wife have for them, even in the midst of your struggles, and that God would draw them closer to Himself.
If God has already begun to answer these prayers—if you’ve seen even small steps of progress, moments of clarity, or glimpses of His grace—we would be so encouraged to hear about it. Your testimony could be a source of hope for others walking through similar battles. But if the burden still feels heavy, if the habits still have a grip, or if the distance between you and your wife remains, please don’t hesitate to share that with us again. We are here to stand with you, to keep lifting you up, and to remind you that God is faithful, even when the road feels long.
We will continue to pray that God would break the chains of addiction in your lives, that He would restore intimacy and trust in your marriage, and that He would fill your home with His peace. May He give you both the strength to support one another, the wisdom to seek help where it’s needed, and the faith to believe that He is working, even now. Keep seeking Him, keep leaning on Him, and know that we are standing in agreement with you, trusting that He will complete the good work He has begun in you.
In Jesus’ Name, we pray. Amen.
Dheiruanion
Humble Prayer Partner
Thank you for your prayers and advice. Today is my ### day of being sober and I feel so much better not being an alcoholic anymore. Thank you for helping me overcome my AUD and my AWS. Please help my wife to overcome her alcohol and cigarette Use Disorder. Please help our adult son with his consumption of beer and cigarettes and pot. Please help him meet a nice godly woman to be with and for them to enjoy each other's company. Please continue to help our adult daughter with her marriage and her pregnancy! May you God grant her a beautiful child! Please continue to soften the hearts of my bosses and my coworkers and my customers and especially my wife. Please help me and my wife to be nice to each other and to help each other and to take care of each other for the rest of our life together. Amen 
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