Keway
Disciple of Prayer
Hi, a few months ago I had a lot of anxiety and shame and felt like a horrible, lazy person for quite a while. That led to me not reading the Bible or praying as much like I used to do obsessively because I felt like if I didn't, then I was sinning. Not to mention other sins that I had done and thought I was "struggling" with at the time, causing more shame. (Looking back, this could've been mild religious OCD, but whatever, it's over now) And after a while, I ended up just never doing any Christian things anymore. And then eventually just declared that I no longer believed because I couldn't be bothered. But of course, this weighed heavy on my heart because I was convinced that the evidence and logic could only logically conclude in a God, and I just stopped believing for emotional reasons. So, I looked into it more. After deep diving a bit into religion, I realized that a lot of arguments against God (at least, Christianity) prove to be rather consistent and logical, and that helped, because I could reconcile with my atheism instead of feeling guilty, and I could truly believe that there is no God out there. Oh btw I'm just gonna mention that I have nothing against Christians I'm just saying what I believe. Things like the problem of evil and how unfair and unbalanced the substitutionary atonement preached in the Bible is, and the vastness of the universe - how it's extremely far-fetched to think that it was all made just for US - and a few contradictions and scientific inaccuracies in the Bible, helped me realize that belief in God is definitely not the only logical conclusion. Anyway, now I let myself listen to non-Christian music (but lowkey still listen to some of my old Christian playlists sometimes bc ngl some of those songs are fire), and I let myself swear and watch horror movies have crushes and do normal, human things that I at some point thought were huge sins. But this account still exists and I don't know how to delete it. There's some posts on this account that I hate, that I really don't want people to see. Like, would this account come up in digital footprint or background checks or something? I don't know I don't know if the posts have been anonymized (I misspelled that I'm sure of it) or what, but I just hope this account doesn't come back to bite me in the ahh in college and job applications lol
Honestly I don't expect anyone to read this at least not this far bc I'm just yapping atp Anyway I'm 14 now, I read the Bible to study it from an atheist perspective and I look back at my old posts here and damn I just feel bad for that little girl (I know it was a few months ago shut up) who was just so scared and lost and having existential crises to deal with on her own and being scared to death of judgement day and her family going to hell - it's just not fair that kids have to go through that. Anyway if there's a way to delete this account or not have it be traced back to me... Pls tell me lol. Respect to your beliefs (whatever they may be, as long as you're not hurting people) Thanks for reading alla this is u did lol.
Honestly I don't expect anyone to read this at least not this far bc I'm just yapping atp Anyway I'm 14 now, I read the Bible to study it from an atheist perspective and I look back at my old posts here and damn I just feel bad for that little girl (I know it was a few months ago shut up) who was just so scared and lost and having existential crises to deal with on her own and being scared to death of judgement day and her family going to hell - it's just not fair that kids have to go through that. Anyway if there's a way to delete this account or not have it be traced back to me... Pls tell me lol. Respect to your beliefs (whatever they may be, as long as you're not hurting people) Thanks for reading alla this is u did lol.

Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have.