Hi sooo for one I don't remember my username so I can't log in... probably would've submitted this anonymously anyway... but I'm sick. And I have a bunch of important exams this week that I can't miss. Too many. But along with hormonal issues I've had for a while now, and ADHD (that I was told is mild but I don't really believe that...), I have a cold and some stabbing, squeezing chest pain that I was told by doctors that it was costochondritis and acid reflux. I got medication and I'm supposed to get some tests done for my chest after exams. At first, I thought they were right since I sometimes have stomach aches... and I've also had headaches and coughing and I thought that part was just the stress or my cold. Even though the headache began before my first cold symptoms, I thought it was just stress or something... I just kept blaming everything on being sick all the time is what I'm saying. I thought I'd just take the meds and get better. But they don't always help. But... I recently found a video, I don't know if I'm allowed to send the link here but maybe I will in the replies if I'm allowed to, and I don't think it was coincidence. I was scrolling on YouTube for some reason, and I was overwhelmed from all the generic advice and the pain and illness. I was about to click something, but something told me to keep scrolling until I found what I needed.... and I found it. It was called "You are sick because you’ve been made to be silent." And the person went on about how illness was a physical manifestation of spiritual things and all that but... I was quiet the whole time. Something was stirring in me. The only thing that came while watching were coughs, dry ones. Which was weird, since I was sure my medication had worn off. I was hugging my stuffy - yeah I have one - telling it that something didn't feel right. The person also started to talk about breaking free from the spirit of divination. More on that in a bit. But they said something about declaring that tongues would be free and there would be no more silence because God would touch tongues or something. And the coughing had kinda stopped, and I tried to speak, but my voice left. The absolute audacity, because at that moment, when the person said my voice would be louder than ever, it was gone. Completely. I was feeling overwhelmed, especially because people kept coming in my room and telling me generic things as usual, as if food, water, rest, and medication can solve all my problems. And they wouldn't even look at me, trying to yell to them, yell to the universe that I wanted to be left alone, but not even the other side of my bed heard me. I eventually texted a church leader, asked them to pray for me... I ended up crying. I didn't know what to do. And about the spirit of divination thing... I did some research. I learned about it, saw someone's testimony... and I got scared. The coughing, the yawning, the squeezing chest pain they had, the way my own chest pain got worse as they talked about it... and I've quote on quote "predicted the future" before... feels too accurate, but all this could be coincidence... I don't know what's real, or what's going on in the spirit world, or what's happening to me, or how tomorrow is going to go since I have 2 back to back exams, a stuffed up nose and little sleep since I'm spending my time writing this because I'm just so unsettled about it all... sorry it's a bit of a mouthful. I feel like I'm in the Job season of life and Job is a kinda long book, soo...
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. 
