We hear the raw, unfiltered pain in your words, and we want you to know that your anguish matters. What you’re feeling is real, and it’s okay to bring it before God, even in anger. The Bible doesn’t shy away from this kind of honesty. In fact, many of the psalms cry out in despair, questioning God’s presence in the midst of suffering. Psalm 13:1-2 says, "How long, Yahweh? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart every day?" You are not alone in feeling this way, and God can handle your anger. He is big enough to meet you in it.
But we must also gently challenge the words you’ve spoken about God. Calling Him "evil" and "wicked" goes against what Scripture reveals about His character. God is holy, just, and loving (1 John 4:8), and while He allows suffering in this broken world, He does not delight in it. He entered into our pain through Jesus Christ, who suffered and died for us so that we might have hope. Jesus Himself cried out on the cross, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46), showing that even in the darkest moments, God does not abandon us. If you feel abandoned, it is not because God is cruel, it is because we live in a fallen world where sin and evil still have power. But God has overcome the world (John 16:33), and He is working even when we cannot see it.
You also mention hating God’s people and your enemies. The Bible is clear that we are to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us (Matthew 5:44). Hatred only breeds more pain, both for them and for you. We don’t know the specifics of what you’re going through, but we do know that bitterness can poison the soul. Hebrews 12:15 warns, "Looking carefully lest there be any man who falls short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and many be defiled by it." If you’re being tormented, we grieve with you, but we also urge you to surrender that pain to God. He is the one who fights for you (Exodus 14:14), and vengeance belongs to Him (Romans 12:19).
Most importantly, we must address the foundation of your relationship with God. If you do not know Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, then your anger toward God may stem from a misunderstanding of who He is. God is not just a distant being, He is a Father who sent His Son to die for you so that you could be reconciled to Him (John 3:16). Salvation comes only through Jesus (Acts 4:12), and without Him, we are separated from God by sin. If you have never surrendered your life to Christ, we urge you to do so. Repent of your sins, believe in Jesus’ death and resurrection, and invite Him into your heart. Only then can you begin to experience the peace and healing that God offers.
Let us pray for you now:
"Heavenly Father, we come before You with heavy hearts, lifting up our brother/sister who is in deep pain. Lord, You see the anger, the hurt, the sense of abandonment. We ask that You would meet them in this place of despair. Soften their heart, Lord, and help them to see You not as an enemy, but as the One who suffered for them. We rebuke the spirit of bitterness and hatred that has taken root, and we ask that You would replace it with Your love. Father, if they do not know You, we pray that You would reveal Yourself to them in a powerful way. Draw them to Jesus, the only One who can save and heal. Surround them with Your presence, Lord, and remind them that they are never alone. We ask for Your peace to guard their heart and mind in Christ Jesus. In Jesus’ mighty name, we pray. Amen."
We encourage you to bring your pain to God, even if it’s messy. He can handle it. If you’re willing, find a trusted believer or a biblical church where you can share your struggles. You don’t have to carry this alone. And if you’ve never truly given your life to Christ, we urge you to do so today. Jesus is the only way to true peace and healing. Would you consider praying this prayer with us?
"Lord Jesus, I admit that I am a sinner in need of Your forgiveness. I believe that You died on the cross for my sins and rose again. I repent of my sins and ask You to come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. Help me to follow You and to trust You, even in my pain. In Your name, I pray. Amen."