We hear your heart in this and we join with you in seeking the Lord together in Jesus' name for repentance, healing, and peace in your home.
We are burdened with you over the anger and division between you, your sister and your mother. What you describe with your head feeling strange as you lay in bed, and your fear that something could happen to any of you because of anger, shows how deeply this strife is affecting your body and spirit. Scripture warns us about this very thing, Be angry, and don’t sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, neither give place to the devil Ephesians 4:26-27. Anger that is not quickly confessed and forsaken opens a door to the enemy and harms our health. We must lovingly rebuke the bitterness and anger that you say has been with you for a while and is getting on your nerves. The Word says Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you Ephesians 4:31-32 and See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God, that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and many are defiled by it Hebrews 12:15. That root, if left alone, will defile you, your sister, your mother, and your view of the Church itself. If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift Matthew 5:23-24. We encourage you to humbly go to your sister and to your mother, confess where you have caused hurt even unintentionally, ask forgiveness, and seek to restore peace without blaming. Do not let this linger another night.
We also lift up your health and the health of your family before the Lord. We pray for that strange feeling in your head, for the stress and anxiety that comes with family conflict, and for your desire to steward your bodies well. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit which is in you, which you have from God. You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. Therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God 1 Corinthians 10:31. We pray your primary care physician will have wisdom and finalize what needs to be done regarding your weight loss care, but we also encourage you not to put your ultimate trust in medicine alone. Medicine can be a tool, but true health comes from the Lord, who gives you strength for discipline, peace that guards your heart, and self control. We pray for healing and for His peace, for In nothing be anxious, but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your thoughts in Christ Jesus Philippians 4:6-7.
We also hear your confession that you have had bitterness toward other Christians, especially those your age, because you feel many are faking, and that you have no church home because you feel you should not be there and your faith is not strong right now. We must gently correct this. Bitterness toward the body of Christ, even when we see hypocrisy in others, is still bitterness that the Lord calls us to put away. We are not to judge the heart, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart 1 Samuel 16:7, and we are called to forgive as Christ forgave us. Withdrawing from fellowship will only make your faith weaker, not stronger. Scripture exhorts us not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching Hebrews 10:25. There is no perfect church because we are all sinners saved by grace, but Christ loves the Church, His bride, and gave Himself for her. If you keep living isolated and in anger, you are right that you will feel back in the world, for Don’t love the world or the things that are in the world Romans 12:2 and Friendship with the world is hostility toward God James 4:4. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts, you double-minded James 4:8. We encourage you to ask the Lord to lead you to a Bible believing church where the Word is preached faithfully, even if you feel uncomfortable at first, and to commit there so your faith can be strengthened through the Word, prayer, and fellowship.
Concerning the young man who has been on your mind, we understand you never personally got to know each other yet you were moved by the romantic care he showed you. We pray earnestly for his salvation, for God desires all people to be saved and come to full knowledge of the truth 1 Timothy 2:4. At the same time we want to encourage you in biblical principles for relationships. We believe courtship is for the purpose of discerning marriage to another Christian believer, for marriage is a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman that honors God, and we are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers 2 Corinthians 6:14. Do not let a romantic memory or longing draw you away from pursuing purity and waiting on the Lord for a godly spouse if it is His will for you to marry. If this man is not a believer, the most loving thing you can do is pray for his salvation and not pursue a romantic relationship outside of Christ. Seek first God’s Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well Matthew 6:33.
You said you feel you are not ready and that the Church may not be ready. That conviction is a mercy from God calling you to repentance. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, so that there may come times of refreshing from the presence of the Lord Acts 3:19. You mentioned Christ and the bride of Christ, and we are thankful for that, for it is only through the name of Jesus Christ that we have access to the Father, for there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus 1 Timothy 2:5 and there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. If your faith feels weak, come to Him simply, confess that you are a sinner in need of His forgiveness, believe that Jesus died for your sins and rose again, and ask Him to be Lord of your life.
We now pray together for you, your sister, your mother, that young man, and the Church.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, asking for Your mercy and forgiveness. We confess our bitterness, anger, and sin before You and ask You to cleanse us as You have promised. Lord, we lift up this family, touch this sister and mother and bring reconciliation where there has been hurt and blame. Soften hearts, grant humility to ask forgiveness and grace to forgive. Take away the root of bitterness and replace it with kindness, tenderheartedness, and love. We ask for Your healing hand upon their bodies, upon this head and upon the anxiety and stress that weighs so heavily, grant Your peace that surpasses all understanding to guard their hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. Give wisdom to their primary care physician and help them steward their bodies for Your glory with discipline and trust in You. Lord, restore this one's faith, draw them near to You, lead them to a faithful church home where they can be fed from Your Word and grow strong, and guard them from being conformed to this world. We pray for the salvation of this young man, that he would hear the gospel, repent and believe in Jesus Christ and be saved. We pray for Your Church, Your bride, that You would make us ready, washing us by the Word and keeping us watchful. We ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ our Lord, amen.
