Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing so honestly about what you have been carrying. It takes courage to look at both the spiritual roots and your own heart, and to want to walk in a different way after being involved in the new age.
You are right to take unforgiveness seriously. Scripture shows that holding on to unforgiveness does not simply hurt the other person, it eats away at you from the inside. It can bring mental turmoil and torment and keep you brooding over the wrong until it colors everything. Learning to have a forgiving spirit, to release the situation into God's hands and walk away from the need to settle the score yourself, is essential for your own freedom. That does not mean what was done to you did not matter. It means you bring it to God and ask Him to deal with it, rather than letting resentment keep a door open for the enemy to harass you.
God has made provision for that kind of release through Jesus Christ. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. Grace reaches its height there. When you come to God for forgiveness for your own part, and when you extend forgiveness to those who have harmed you, you are standing on what Christ has already accomplished. That is the ground for reconciliation with God first, and then, as far as it depends on you, for seeking peace with others.
Your desire to make peace is good and biblical, and it is understandable that reaching out feels nerve wracking, especially when harm has happened on both sides. The Bible encourages us to live at peace with all people as much as it depends on us, while also recognizing that reconciliation involves two people. Some of those you would approach may be unsaved, deceived by false teaching, or still influenced to act in ways that are not normal for them. Demonic spirits are real, they are intelligent beings with power to afflict and torment, and Scripture describes them going forth and even crying out as they leave a person. They can influence people to behave in destructive ways that cannot be explained on a human level alone. They are at present restrained, kept as in a pit or abyss separate from the place of the dead, and only God sets their limits, but they still seek to harass and deceive.
Because of that, it is important not to put your hope in the idea that if you can just get everyone to make peace with you, the harassment will automatically stop. Peace with people is valuable, but your deliverance and peace ultimately rest on your standing in Christ. Scripture asks what fellowship light has with darkness and what harmony Christ has with the adversary, to show that those who are in Christ are not left as helpless captives to darkness. Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. You do not have to hide or find a perfect place of safety from spirit beings who can torment beyond physical walls. God Himself makes a separation and seals His own.
So continue to bring your basic needs to God in personal prayer for provision, for forgiveness, for guidance, and for deliverance. Ask Him to show you what is yours to do in reconciling, and what is His to handle. Where you can speak a quiet, humble word of apology for your part without demanding a certain response, do so with gentleness and with no pressure for them to respond a certain way. Where a person is not safe or not willing to hear you, you can still forgive before the Lord and leave them in His hands. Keep your garments clean before Him, watching and walking faithfully as you wait for Christ, trusting Him to guard you.
I am praying for you, that God will give you a deep work of forgiveness that frees your heart from brooding, wisdom to know how and when to reach out and when to simply entrust someone to Him, protection from any demonic harassment, and a clear sense of His guidance and deliverance day by day. May He fill you with His peace as you keep your eyes on Jesus, who alone is our reconciliation and our deliverer.
You are right to take unforgiveness seriously. Scripture shows that holding on to unforgiveness does not simply hurt the other person, it eats away at you from the inside. It can bring mental turmoil and torment and keep you brooding over the wrong until it colors everything. Learning to have a forgiving spirit, to release the situation into God's hands and walk away from the need to settle the score yourself, is essential for your own freedom. That does not mean what was done to you did not matter. It means you bring it to God and ask Him to deal with it, rather than letting resentment keep a door open for the enemy to harass you.
God has made provision for that kind of release through Jesus Christ. He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. Grace reaches its height there. When you come to God for forgiveness for your own part, and when you extend forgiveness to those who have harmed you, you are standing on what Christ has already accomplished. That is the ground for reconciliation with God first, and then, as far as it depends on you, for seeking peace with others.
Your desire to make peace is good and biblical, and it is understandable that reaching out feels nerve wracking, especially when harm has happened on both sides. The Bible encourages us to live at peace with all people as much as it depends on us, while also recognizing that reconciliation involves two people. Some of those you would approach may be unsaved, deceived by false teaching, or still influenced to act in ways that are not normal for them. Demonic spirits are real, they are intelligent beings with power to afflict and torment, and Scripture describes them going forth and even crying out as they leave a person. They can influence people to behave in destructive ways that cannot be explained on a human level alone. They are at present restrained, kept as in a pit or abyss separate from the place of the dead, and only God sets their limits, but they still seek to harass and deceive.
Because of that, it is important not to put your hope in the idea that if you can just get everyone to make peace with you, the harassment will automatically stop. Peace with people is valuable, but your deliverance and peace ultimately rest on your standing in Christ. Scripture asks what fellowship light has with darkness and what harmony Christ has with the adversary, to show that those who are in Christ are not left as helpless captives to darkness. Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world. You do not have to hide or find a perfect place of safety from spirit beings who can torment beyond physical walls. God Himself makes a separation and seals His own.
So continue to bring your basic needs to God in personal prayer for provision, for forgiveness, for guidance, and for deliverance. Ask Him to show you what is yours to do in reconciling, and what is His to handle. Where you can speak a quiet, humble word of apology for your part without demanding a certain response, do so with gentleness and with no pressure for them to respond a certain way. Where a person is not safe or not willing to hear you, you can still forgive before the Lord and leave them in His hands. Keep your garments clean before Him, watching and walking faithfully as you wait for Christ, trusting Him to guard you.
I am praying for you, that God will give you a deep work of forgiveness that frees your heart from brooding, wisdom to know how and when to reach out and when to simply entrust someone to Him, protection from any demonic harassment, and a clear sense of His guidance and deliverance day by day. May He fill you with His peace as you keep your eyes on Jesus, who alone is our reconciliation and our deliverer.
