Silas
Beloved of All
Your honest prayer before the Lord is heard, and it is good that you begin with thankfulness for His daily mercies and faithfulness. Lamentations 3:23 is true every morning, and Psalm 139 reminds us that He searches and knows us completely, both when we first come to Him and as we continue to walk with Him. To confess openly where your heart has been divided, and to repent of loving in a way that is not ordered by His truth, is the right posture. God does not turn away from a contrite heart that seeks to stand firm on His Word and to depend on Him to do what you cannot do in yourself.
There is a right tension in what you are asking, and Scripture gives language for it. Like Paul, whose heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel was that they might be saved, you are carrying a deep burden for your wife to come to genuine repentance and living faith in Christ, and for your child to be protected, saved, and brought up in the instruction of the Lord. Paul knew anguish over those he loved, and he also knew that the depths of God's sovereignty and election are beyond our full understanding. We do not have to fathom every depth to obey the simple call to pray. We are invited to come boldly to the throne of grace, with confidence through faith in Him. That boldness is not presumption, it is the access God Himself has opened through Jesus. You do not need to hold back in timidity or look for another mediator. The position of your heart matters more than any outward posture, and God welcomes a heart that comes humbly and directly to Him through Christ.
That access rests on grace. God has made provision for reconciliation through Jesus Christ, who knew no sin yet was made sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared, and it is offered freely, not on the basis of our merit or works but on the basis of His love and His work for us through His Son. To receive that grace is to be reconciled to God, to be no longer at war with Him. If your wife has not yet received it, continue to ask that she would not put off that great salvation. And for yourself, continue to rest in that same grace which has set you free and in which you now stand.
You also ask for grace to do both, as Ecclesiastes 7:18 says, to take hold of the one without letting go of the other. To keep interceding faithfully while also shifting focus to what is before you is not unspiritual. It is exactly what Titus 3:14 calls us to, to learn to devote ourselves to good works and to meet pressing needs, and what Isaiah speaks of when God says He will do a new thing. You are asking to look to Jesus, to set your mind on things above where Christ is seated, to run the race set before you by laying aside every weight and distraction, looking to Him who is the author and finisher of faith. That heavenly focus does not make you neglect prayer for your family, it orders your affections so that earthly sorrows and material concerns do not absorb you. Your life is hidden with Christ in God, and when your affections are set there, you are better able to do the duties at hand with clarity and perseverance.
Prayer itself helps hold these together. True prayer is not a way to get your will done on earth, but to get God's will done on earth. God has given people real choice and He will not violate that, yet prayer opens the door for Him to do what He already desires to do. Persistence in prayer is not to change God's mind, but to bring our hearts into harmony with His purpose, as we keep asking with thanksgiving. Paul modeled this by praying continually for those he loved, night and day, laboring fervently for them even when he could not be present. Prayer is not bound by locality or circumstance. Even as you give attention to duties, to caring for the flock among you, to putting things in order and finishing tasks, and to doors God may open for the gospel, you can continue that steady intercession.
This is where grace lifts the burden from you. When you discover the grace of God more deeply, the weight shifts from your own striving to keep yourself from falling, to Him who is able to keep you from falling. Apart from Christ you can do nothing, as John 15:5 says, but with Him you can walk faithfully, forgetting what lies behind and pressing forward toward the upward call, running in a way that seeks to win.
So continue to pray for your wife's salvation and for your child to know Christ and be nourished in His Word and to grow in respect for godly authority, and at the same time ask for wisdom and full knowledge of His will, for love to abound with insight, for favor as a shield, for open doors that only He can open, and for strength to meet each pressing need. Ask for protection from temptation, from sin and evil, from evil people and from the evil one, and for the leading of the Holy Spirit as you abide in Christ. He is able to give you grace both to intercede faithfully and to be diligent in the new work He has set before you, all for His glory through Jesus Christ.
There is a right tension in what you are asking, and Scripture gives language for it. Like Paul, whose heart's desire and prayer to God for Israel was that they might be saved, you are carrying a deep burden for your wife to come to genuine repentance and living faith in Christ, and for your child to be protected, saved, and brought up in the instruction of the Lord. Paul knew anguish over those he loved, and he also knew that the depths of God's sovereignty and election are beyond our full understanding. We do not have to fathom every depth to obey the simple call to pray. We are invited to come boldly to the throne of grace, with confidence through faith in Him. That boldness is not presumption, it is the access God Himself has opened through Jesus. You do not need to hold back in timidity or look for another mediator. The position of your heart matters more than any outward posture, and God welcomes a heart that comes humbly and directly to Him through Christ.
That access rests on grace. God has made provision for reconciliation through Jesus Christ, who knew no sin yet was made sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. The grace of God that brings salvation has appeared, and it is offered freely, not on the basis of our merit or works but on the basis of His love and His work for us through His Son. To receive that grace is to be reconciled to God, to be no longer at war with Him. If your wife has not yet received it, continue to ask that she would not put off that great salvation. And for yourself, continue to rest in that same grace which has set you free and in which you now stand.
You also ask for grace to do both, as Ecclesiastes 7:18 says, to take hold of the one without letting go of the other. To keep interceding faithfully while also shifting focus to what is before you is not unspiritual. It is exactly what Titus 3:14 calls us to, to learn to devote ourselves to good works and to meet pressing needs, and what Isaiah speaks of when God says He will do a new thing. You are asking to look to Jesus, to set your mind on things above where Christ is seated, to run the race set before you by laying aside every weight and distraction, looking to Him who is the author and finisher of faith. That heavenly focus does not make you neglect prayer for your family, it orders your affections so that earthly sorrows and material concerns do not absorb you. Your life is hidden with Christ in God, and when your affections are set there, you are better able to do the duties at hand with clarity and perseverance.
Prayer itself helps hold these together. True prayer is not a way to get your will done on earth, but to get God's will done on earth. God has given people real choice and He will not violate that, yet prayer opens the door for Him to do what He already desires to do. Persistence in prayer is not to change God's mind, but to bring our hearts into harmony with His purpose, as we keep asking with thanksgiving. Paul modeled this by praying continually for those he loved, night and day, laboring fervently for them even when he could not be present. Prayer is not bound by locality or circumstance. Even as you give attention to duties, to caring for the flock among you, to putting things in order and finishing tasks, and to doors God may open for the gospel, you can continue that steady intercession.
This is where grace lifts the burden from you. When you discover the grace of God more deeply, the weight shifts from your own striving to keep yourself from falling, to Him who is able to keep you from falling. Apart from Christ you can do nothing, as John 15:5 says, but with Him you can walk faithfully, forgetting what lies behind and pressing forward toward the upward call, running in a way that seeks to win.
So continue to pray for your wife's salvation and for your child to know Christ and be nourished in His Word and to grow in respect for godly authority, and at the same time ask for wisdom and full knowledge of His will, for love to abound with insight, for favor as a shield, for open doors that only He can open, and for strength to meet each pressing need. Ask for protection from temptation, from sin and evil, from evil people and from the evil one, and for the leading of the Holy Spirit as you abide in Christ. He is able to give you grace both to intercede faithfully and to be diligent in the new work He has set before you, all for His glory through Jesus Christ.
