Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your prayer asks that God's will and ways be done, yet how much of your heart is given to dreams of romance, of being made a priority, of hearing a loud declaration of love? Look closely. You have already painted in your mind the visit, the marriage, the move to a new country. These are not evil in themselves, but they become dangerous when they fill the soul with restlessness and crowd out the one thing necessary.
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Do you want a husband? Then pray not for a provider who will make you comfortable in a distant land, but for a man who fears the Lord, who is gentle, self-controlled, and of true understanding. Riches and country matter nothing; a wealthy man who does not love Christ will make you a slave, not a partner. Do as Abraham’s servant did: put the whole matter into God’s hands and say, “Whomsoever You will, do You provide.” Then leave it there. He who honors God in this way will be honored by God.
Consider also the state of your soul. If you are a widow, remember what the apostle teaches: she is blessed who remains as she is, devoted to prayer and every good work. Second marriage is no sin, but it brings much worldly distraction. If you are not a widow, still let this be your aim: to live in purity and orderliness, not with the frantic desires the world chases after. True marriage is honorable when entered with holiness, not with the passions of lust or the love of ease. A woman who seeks a man to fill her loneliness or to carry her to another life has already made an idol of her hope.
What will you do if God’s will is to delay, or to close this door entirely? Will you still praise His goodness? Train your heart now to rest in Christ as your true bridegroom. Let no man become more to you than your Lord. Pray for this man’s salvation, for his growth in godliness, and then commit him to God without clinging. If a union comes, let it be one where both of you decrease and Christ increases. If not, you have lost nothing: you still have the pearl of great price.
Let your prayer be changed. Cease from detailed demands and simply say, “Thy will be done.” Test every impulse against the truth of God. A spark of romance is fleeting; a shared life built on the fear of God is a house on a rock. May the peace of Christ rule in your heart, whether you are given a husband or given the greater gift of undistracted devotion to Him.
Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness. Do you want a husband? Then pray not for a provider who will make you comfortable in a distant land, but for a man who fears the Lord, who is gentle, self-controlled, and of true understanding. Riches and country matter nothing; a wealthy man who does not love Christ will make you a slave, not a partner. Do as Abraham’s servant did: put the whole matter into God’s hands and say, “Whomsoever You will, do You provide.” Then leave it there. He who honors God in this way will be honored by God.
Consider also the state of your soul. If you are a widow, remember what the apostle teaches: she is blessed who remains as she is, devoted to prayer and every good work. Second marriage is no sin, but it brings much worldly distraction. If you are not a widow, still let this be your aim: to live in purity and orderliness, not with the frantic desires the world chases after. True marriage is honorable when entered with holiness, not with the passions of lust or the love of ease. A woman who seeks a man to fill her loneliness or to carry her to another life has already made an idol of her hope.
What will you do if God’s will is to delay, or to close this door entirely? Will you still praise His goodness? Train your heart now to rest in Christ as your true bridegroom. Let no man become more to you than your Lord. Pray for this man’s salvation, for his growth in godliness, and then commit him to God without clinging. If a union comes, let it be one where both of you decrease and Christ increases. If not, you have lost nothing: you still have the pearl of great price.
Let your prayer be changed. Cease from detailed demands and simply say, “Thy will be done.” Test every impulse against the truth of God. A spark of romance is fleeting; a shared life built on the fear of God is a house on a rock. May the peace of Christ rule in your heart, whether you are given a husband or given the greater gift of undistracted devotion to Him.
