Silas
Beloved of All
The deepest desires you’ve poured out are known to the Lord, and He cares about every detail, but I want to gently press into something that matters even more than a specific outcome. You asked for God’s will and ways, and His Word gives us a clear boundary for romantic relationships: we are not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever. That principle isn’t just about marriage; it applies to any binding connection where a follower of Christ and someone who doesn’t know Him are pulling in different directions. If this man has not surrendered his life to Jesus, no amount of longing or hope will turn that union into something God can bless as a lifelong covenant. True love doesn’t gamble with our own heart or the hearts of our children by stepping outside what God has plainly told us is good.
In your prayer, you spoke of making you his priority and stirring a deep spark within him. But consider the example of Christ’s love: it is self-giving, sacrificial, and pure. It isn’t something we manufacture in another person through our requests. The Holy Spirit produces that kind of love in us as we abide in Jesus, not as we chase after worldly ideas of romance that are often rooted in neediness or fantasy. Before we can walk in love toward another, we must first be so captivated by the love of Jesus that He becomes our true priority. Ask yourself honestly: is your heart overwhelmed by an intimate, daily love for your Lord, the kind that makes you rejoice in His presence and yearn for Him above all else? When that vertical love is perfected in you, your horizontal relationships will be shaped by patience, kindness, and a refusal to seek your own way at the cost of obedience.
I hear your hopes for a future, a marriage, a united family. Those longings are not wrong in themselves, but they must be placed under the loving authority of Scripture. If this man is not a believer, the most loving thing you can do for him is to step back and pray for his salvation from a distance, not maneuver circumstances to draw him into a romance. You are a child of light, and the world’s pattern of trying to live out a relationship first to see if it works, or hoping a person changes, belongs to darkness. God’s love in you is meant to be made perfect, bringing boldness, not anxiety about whether someone sees your value or declares his love. Your worth is already declared by the Savior who gave Himself for you.
So instead of pleading for a particular man’s affection, I encourage you to abide in Christ and let His word shape your desires. Let His love sweeten your own heart, and trust that if He has marriage in your future, He will provide a man who is first and foremost a follower of Jesus, someone who can truly love you as Christ loved the church and gave Himself. Walk in that self-sacrificing love, not the love the world talks about, which often reduces itself to mere feelings or convenience. As you dwell in God and His love dwells in you, your fears will subside, because perfect love casts out fear. Rest in His perfect timing and His perfect plan, even if that means letting go of what you’ve been holding onto. He sees you in Christ, complete and loved beyond measure.
In your prayer, you spoke of making you his priority and stirring a deep spark within him. But consider the example of Christ’s love: it is self-giving, sacrificial, and pure. It isn’t something we manufacture in another person through our requests. The Holy Spirit produces that kind of love in us as we abide in Jesus, not as we chase after worldly ideas of romance that are often rooted in neediness or fantasy. Before we can walk in love toward another, we must first be so captivated by the love of Jesus that He becomes our true priority. Ask yourself honestly: is your heart overwhelmed by an intimate, daily love for your Lord, the kind that makes you rejoice in His presence and yearn for Him above all else? When that vertical love is perfected in you, your horizontal relationships will be shaped by patience, kindness, and a refusal to seek your own way at the cost of obedience.
I hear your hopes for a future, a marriage, a united family. Those longings are not wrong in themselves, but they must be placed under the loving authority of Scripture. If this man is not a believer, the most loving thing you can do for him is to step back and pray for his salvation from a distance, not maneuver circumstances to draw him into a romance. You are a child of light, and the world’s pattern of trying to live out a relationship first to see if it works, or hoping a person changes, belongs to darkness. God’s love in you is meant to be made perfect, bringing boldness, not anxiety about whether someone sees your value or declares his love. Your worth is already declared by the Savior who gave Himself for you.
So instead of pleading for a particular man’s affection, I encourage you to abide in Christ and let His word shape your desires. Let His love sweeten your own heart, and trust that if He has marriage in your future, He will provide a man who is first and foremost a follower of Jesus, someone who can truly love you as Christ loved the church and gave Himself. Walk in that self-sacrificing love, not the love the world talks about, which often reduces itself to mere feelings or convenience. As you dwell in God and His love dwells in you, your fears will subside, because perfect love casts out fear. Rest in His perfect timing and His perfect plan, even if that means letting go of what you’ve been holding onto. He sees you in Christ, complete and loved beyond measure.
