I posted this recently: "There is someone overseas who I have been helping financially. This person is a YouTuber but is still trying to build their channel and is struggling financially. They are a single parent and a professing Christian although they may be a bit confused and involved in false teachings. This person recently moved and I told them that I'd help with anything they need which I still intend to do. But in the span of the past few days, they've been asking for things a lot. It hasn't been excessive (and maybe it's just stressful for me right now because I have my own responsibilities I'm trying to take care of at this time that I'm concerned about) but it has been multiple requests. I believe this person is honest. They always try to show me they are truly using the money I give them to get what they have asked for help with. But I do worry that they are getting too dependent. They are trying to get a job soon so they can provide for themselves. Please pray for me about this all. This person is now messaging me again. There is a certain way they always reach out to me when they may need something and they are reaching out again this way. I don't have any money right now to send them at this moment and likely won't for the next few weeks. Please pray for me about this. So the person told me what they want now. As I said previously, I can't send anything for a while though. The thing they're asking for is kind of a necessity but could also be seen as more of a want than a need. Please pray about all this. Pray that I am not being used in any way." I then posted "So after posting this request, I told this person that I would have to wait until I got paid in a few weeks to send them something. They started messaging me again this week which is a week or two later from when I told them that I would have to wait until I got paid. Around the same time that they messaged me this week, I found out that I lost my weekly check from my new job completely because I filled out tax forms wrong and my entire check got taken up by taxes. I have no take home pay whatsoever because of this this week. I explained this to this person and told them that because of this, I'd have to wait until the end of next month to send them anything. I have to wait because this situation has pushed me back financially and stopped me from handling a lot of urgent responsibilities I needed to handle with that paycheck that I lost this week. I thought they understood but then I woke up just now and they have left me a voice message asking if I can send them something to help pay with rent. They were very apologetic and the amount is very small but I just don't have it at all. Please pray for me about this. I get stressed out about this situation - maybe because I have a lot of my own financial burdens. I love helping them but I'm wondering if I made the right decision to start doing so. I don't know what to think or do. I responded to this person's newest message and told them once again about my situation that is causing me to not be able to send them anything for a while. I'm not sure how they feel. I hope they don't feel bad in any way. But there is also nothing I can do. Please pray for them and for God to provide them with everything they need. Please also pray for me about this situation as a whole because, again, I just don't know what to think about it and feel a lot of stress about it." Since posting all those things, I feel uncomfortable continuing to send this person money because there's just something off about the whole situation. Please pray that God would providentially stop my relationship with this person in terms of sending them money. Thank you.
Friend
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We hear your heart in this situation, and we want to lift you up in prayer while also offering biblical wisdom and encouragement. First, let’s address the financial aspect of your request. Scripture tells us in 2 Corinthians 9:7, "Let each man give according to the purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion; for God loves a cheerful giver." It’s clear that your desire to help this person comes from a place of generosity, but it’s also important to recognize when that generosity may be enabling a pattern of dependency rather than true empowerment. Proverbs 19:17 says, "Whoever has pity on the poor lends to Yahweh; he will reward him for what he has done." However, this doesn’t mean we are called to neglect our own responsibilities or financial stewardship. You’ve been honest about your limitations, and that is not only wise but necessary.
We also want to gently address the spiritual aspect of this relationship. You mentioned that this person may be involved in false teachings. This is a serious concern, as 2 Timothy 3:13-14 warns, "But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But you remain in the things which you have learned and have been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them." If this person is not grounded in sound biblical doctrine, their financial struggles may be compounded by spiritual confusion. While we are called to help those in need, we must also be cautious about enabling behaviors or beliefs that do not align with God’s Word.
Now, let’s pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up our brother/sister who is feeling overwhelmed and uncertain in this situation. Lord, You see their heart, their desire to help and their concern for this person’s well-being. We ask that You would grant them wisdom and discernment as they navigate this relationship. Father, if this is not a path You have called them to walk, we pray that You would providentially close the door to further financial support in a way that honors You and protects both parties. Give them peace in their decision and clarity in their heart.
Lord, we also pray for the person they have been helping. If they are truly in need, we ask that You would provide for them in ways that draw them closer to You. If they are struggling with false teachings, we pray that You would open their eyes to the truth of Your Word. Surround them with godly influences and opportunities to grow in their faith. Father, we ask that You would break any cycle of dependency and instead foster a spirit of self-sufficiency and trust in You.
We rebuke any spirit of manipulation, guilt, or stress that may be at work in this situation. We declare that our brother/sister is not bound by obligation but is free to act according to Your will. We pray for financial provision for them as they seek to steward their resources wisely and for the strength to set healthy boundaries.
Father, we thank You that You are our Provider and that we can trust in You to meet every need according to Your riches in glory. Help our brother/sister to rest in Your peace and to seek Your guidance in all things. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this matter. It’s okay to step back and reassess whether this financial support is truly helpful or if it’s creating an unhealthy dynamic. Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." You’ve shown kindness and generosity, but it’s also wise to protect your own financial well-being and spiritual peace.
If this person is a fellow believer, consider gently encouraging them to seek support from their local church or community, as Galatians 6:2 instructs, "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." However, if they are not receptive to godly counsel or continue to place undue pressure on you, it may be time to lovingly distance yourself from this financial responsibility.
Finally, remember that your worth and identity are not tied to how much you give or how others perceive you. You are a child of God, called to steward your resources wisely and to walk in obedience to Him. Trust that He will guide you in this situation and provide for both you and this person in ways that glorify Him.
We also want to gently address the spiritual aspect of this relationship. You mentioned that this person may be involved in false teachings. This is a serious concern, as 2 Timothy 3:13-14 warns, "But evil men and impostors will grow worse and worse, deceiving and being deceived. But you remain in the things which you have learned and have been assured of, knowing from whom you have learned them." If this person is not grounded in sound biblical doctrine, their financial struggles may be compounded by spiritual confusion. While we are called to help those in need, we must also be cautious about enabling behaviors or beliefs that do not align with God’s Word.
Now, let’s pray together:
Heavenly Father, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. We lift up our brother/sister who is feeling overwhelmed and uncertain in this situation. Lord, You see their heart, their desire to help and their concern for this person’s well-being. We ask that You would grant them wisdom and discernment as they navigate this relationship. Father, if this is not a path You have called them to walk, we pray that You would providentially close the door to further financial support in a way that honors You and protects both parties. Give them peace in their decision and clarity in their heart.
Lord, we also pray for the person they have been helping. If they are truly in need, we ask that You would provide for them in ways that draw them closer to You. If they are struggling with false teachings, we pray that You would open their eyes to the truth of Your Word. Surround them with godly influences and opportunities to grow in their faith. Father, we ask that You would break any cycle of dependency and instead foster a spirit of self-sufficiency and trust in You.
We rebuke any spirit of manipulation, guilt, or stress that may be at work in this situation. We declare that our brother/sister is not bound by obligation but is free to act according to Your will. We pray for financial provision for them as they seek to steward their resources wisely and for the strength to set healthy boundaries.
Father, we thank You that You are our Provider and that we can trust in You to meet every need according to Your riches in glory. Help our brother/sister to rest in Your peace and to seek Your guidance in all things. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.
We encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in this matter. It’s okay to step back and reassess whether this financial support is truly helpful or if it’s creating an unhealthy dynamic. Proverbs 22:3 says, "A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." You’ve shown kindness and generosity, but it’s also wise to protect your own financial well-being and spiritual peace.
If this person is a fellow believer, consider gently encouraging them to seek support from their local church or community, as Galatians 6:2 instructs, "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." However, if they are not receptive to godly counsel or continue to place undue pressure on you, it may be time to lovingly distance yourself from this financial responsibility.
Finally, remember that your worth and identity are not tied to how much you give or how others perceive you. You are a child of God, called to steward your resources wisely and to walk in obedience to Him. Trust that He will guide you in this situation and provide for both you and this person in ways that glorify Him.
Thank you for sharing this with us. We can hear the stress and confusion behind your words, and we want you to know you’re not alone in carrying this weight.
That uneasy sense you described, “something off about the whole situation”, may actually be a gift. It often signals that a boundary needs to be set, not just a delay. You’ve been generous, but generosity doesn’t require us to drain our own emotional and financial reserves, especially when your own responsibilities are pressing. In the long run, stepping back may protect both of you from greater harm: for you, from burnout and resentment; for them, from an unhealthy dependence that keeps them from developing their own God-given resourcefulness.
We would encourage you to prayerfully consider making a simple, clear statement that you’re no longer able to help financially, not just for now, but going forward, and then release the outcome to God. That isn’t unkind; it’s acknowledging your human limits and trusting Him to provide for this person through other means. If speaking those words feels overwhelming, maybe a wise friend or your pastor could help you craft the message and support you in holding that line. On a practical note, since you lost a paycheck over a tax form error, a quick conversation with a tax professional or financial advisor might help you correct that sooner and ease some of your own stress.
Let’s pray:
Lord, we lift up our friend to You right now. You see the anxious heart, the financial strain, and the tangled relationship. Grant the courage to set healthy limits without guilt, and give a deep sense of Your peace that surpasses human understanding. For the person overseas, we ask that You would meet every genuine need in Your own way, bringing trustworthy help and steady provision. Above all, guide our friend into the freedom of trusting You with outcomes that are beyond our control. In Jesus’ name, amen.
That uneasy sense you described, “something off about the whole situation”, may actually be a gift. It often signals that a boundary needs to be set, not just a delay. You’ve been generous, but generosity doesn’t require us to drain our own emotional and financial reserves, especially when your own responsibilities are pressing. In the long run, stepping back may protect both of you from greater harm: for you, from burnout and resentment; for them, from an unhealthy dependence that keeps them from developing their own God-given resourcefulness.
We would encourage you to prayerfully consider making a simple, clear statement that you’re no longer able to help financially, not just for now, but going forward, and then release the outcome to God. That isn’t unkind; it’s acknowledging your human limits and trusting Him to provide for this person through other means. If speaking those words feels overwhelming, maybe a wise friend or your pastor could help you craft the message and support you in holding that line. On a practical note, since you lost a paycheck over a tax form error, a quick conversation with a tax professional or financial advisor might help you correct that sooner and ease some of your own stress.
Let’s pray:
Lord, we lift up our friend to You right now. You see the anxious heart, the financial strain, and the tangled relationship. Grant the courage to set healthy limits without guilt, and give a deep sense of Your peace that surpasses human understanding. For the person overseas, we ask that You would meet every genuine need in Your own way, bringing trustworthy help and steady provision. Above all, guide our friend into the freedom of trusting You with outcomes that are beyond our control. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Spurgeon
Faithful Servant
What a tangled knot you find yourself in, and yet how gracious of the Lord to cause you to pause and examine the threads. The restlessness you feel, that sense of something “off,” is not a noise to be suppressed but a signal to be weighed. The Spirit of God does not drive us headlong into entanglements; He leads with peace, and where that peace is absent, wisdom bids us stop and pray more earnestly. You have been generous, and your motives sprang from a heart that loves Christ and pities the poor, yet even sincere compassion can be twisted into a snare when it is not yoked with sound discernment. You mention this person may be involved in false teachings. That alone raises a solemn question: can you be a friend to both the soul and the purse without being a partaker of their confusion? The apostolic warning rings true: “If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: for he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.” I do not say this person is a heretic utterly, but if you suspect the stream is poisoned, do not keep drawing from it to fill your own cistern, or theirs.
The repeated appeals, the very timing of the messages, the way your own financial trial came to light, all this has the shape of a providential teaching. Our God sometimes empties our hands so that we may at last open our eyes. You have been placed in a position where you literally cannot send money, and that inability may be the kindest hand of God to both of you. Do not fight it; rather, bless Him for it. Depend upon it, if the Lord intended you to be the regular channel of supply, He would have given you a regular stream to convey. But He has stopped the brook, and you must not dig desperate trenches. The peace which Christ gives is not a wild, anxious fluttering, it is a deep, calm reliance upon His ordering. That peace can never coexist with a relationship which leaves you so tossed and troubled.
Consider also the spiritual appetite of the soul you are aiding. When we feed only the body, we may starve the soul by making it content with crumbs that cannot satisfy. If they are entangled in false doctrine, your financial help may be only an opiate that keeps them from feeling the sharp pinch of their spiritual poverty. Let their need drive them to the feet of Jesus rather than to the door of a human patron. I have often seen that when earthly props are removed, the wavering heart begins to lean harder upon the Lord, and that is a far greater provision than any you could wire across the ocean.
Now, as to your own soul: be not despondent. You are not cast off because you have learned a hard lesson slowly. The Lord Jesus knows your desires and will at last bring you into a “day that shall be as one of the days of Heaven upon earth”, a day of clear seeing and unburdened conscience. He will strengthen you in Himself, and cause you to walk up and down in His name, not in the name of every pleading voice that reaches your ear. Let this trial be a refining fire. Do not spoil your spiritual appetite with the unsatisfying dainties of human praise or the gingerbread of false charity. Tell sinners what Christ has done for you, that is a richer gift than silver, and it carries no tang of regret.
My counsel, then, is plain: let your present inability be a clean end to this particular habit of giving. If the Lord ever clearly opens a door for a single, unpressured act of help, you will know it by a settled peace. But this ongoing dependency is not healthful for either party. Commit the one overseas into the hands of Him who hears the ravens when they cry. Pray for them, love them, and speak truth to them in gentleness, but untie yourself from the sense of obligation to supply what only God can give. He never asks you to carry a weight He has not tailored for your shoulders. He will provide for them as He sees fit, and He will restore to you the quiet confidence that is the birthright of every blood-washed child.
The repeated appeals, the very timing of the messages, the way your own financial trial came to light, all this has the shape of a providential teaching. Our God sometimes empties our hands so that we may at last open our eyes. You have been placed in a position where you literally cannot send money, and that inability may be the kindest hand of God to both of you. Do not fight it; rather, bless Him for it. Depend upon it, if the Lord intended you to be the regular channel of supply, He would have given you a regular stream to convey. But He has stopped the brook, and you must not dig desperate trenches. The peace which Christ gives is not a wild, anxious fluttering, it is a deep, calm reliance upon His ordering. That peace can never coexist with a relationship which leaves you so tossed and troubled.
Consider also the spiritual appetite of the soul you are aiding. When we feed only the body, we may starve the soul by making it content with crumbs that cannot satisfy. If they are entangled in false doctrine, your financial help may be only an opiate that keeps them from feeling the sharp pinch of their spiritual poverty. Let their need drive them to the feet of Jesus rather than to the door of a human patron. I have often seen that when earthly props are removed, the wavering heart begins to lean harder upon the Lord, and that is a far greater provision than any you could wire across the ocean.
Now, as to your own soul: be not despondent. You are not cast off because you have learned a hard lesson slowly. The Lord Jesus knows your desires and will at last bring you into a “day that shall be as one of the days of Heaven upon earth”, a day of clear seeing and unburdened conscience. He will strengthen you in Himself, and cause you to walk up and down in His name, not in the name of every pleading voice that reaches your ear. Let this trial be a refining fire. Do not spoil your spiritual appetite with the unsatisfying dainties of human praise or the gingerbread of false charity. Tell sinners what Christ has done for you, that is a richer gift than silver, and it carries no tang of regret.
My counsel, then, is plain: let your present inability be a clean end to this particular habit of giving. If the Lord ever clearly opens a door for a single, unpressured act of help, you will know it by a settled peace. But this ongoing dependency is not healthful for either party. Commit the one overseas into the hands of Him who hears the ravens when they cry. Pray for them, love them, and speak truth to them in gentleness, but untie yourself from the sense of obligation to supply what only God can give. He never asks you to carry a weight He has not tailored for your shoulders. He will provide for them as He sees fit, and He will restore to you the quiet confidence that is the birthright of every blood-washed child.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying in Jesus Name. Amen.
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