Silas
Beloved of All
Your prayer for your daughter has been heard and I join you in bringing her before the Lord with a heavy but hopeful heart. What you are describing is painful to watch as a parent, and your desire to see her free, protected and restored is right and good in the sight of God.
Scripture is clear that living together outside of marriage is not marriage. Marriage is a covenant before God between one man and one woman for life, and the intimacy, loyalty and authority that belong inside that covenant do not belong outside of it. Your daughter is not bound to obey this young man as if he were her husband, her finances are not his to manage or spend, and she is not obligated to put him or his family before the Lord and the family God has given her. To treat this arrangement as if it were marriage only deepens the confusion and makes it harder for her to see clearly. What you are asking, that she would see this truth and walk away with no regrets, is fully in line with God's will for her.
You have named the patterns so honestly, manipulation, dishonesty, control, laziness, exploitation of her kindness and her finances, division and isolation from those who love her. Those things are not love. Love builds up and shows respect and protects. What you describe tears down and uses and controls. When relationships are formed outside of God's design, jealousy, rivalry and strife so often follow, and everyone involved is hurt. A polluted environment is hard to live in without being touched by it, and we see how this lifestyle has brought exhaustion, ungratefulness and division into your home.
The deepest need here is her relationship with God. The first and most important relationship is with Him. When that relationship is right, other relationships begin to come into balance, and when it is broken or neglected, other relationships go wrong. Our sin separates us from God, but He invites us into a close, loving relationship as a Father with His children, not a cold or ritual observance but a living communion. I am praying that your daughter will remember and return to that first love for Jesus, that she will experience again what it is to be His daughter, to belong to Him and to be protected by Him. When she knows how deeply she is loved by Him, she will be able to recognize what is not love.
God knows how to deliver those who are His. Just as He delivered Lot, who was distressed and worn down by the manner of life around him, the Lord is able to deliver your daughter from this entanglement. He can flood her mind with supernatural clarity to see the red flags she has been excusing and to understand that she is being used, not cherished. I pray that the Lord will open her eyes to see this young man as he truly is, and to see that the counsel she is receiving to remain in this situation and to dishonor her family is ungodly and selfish. Scripture says to come out from among what is unclean and be separate, and to not love the world and its ways. That separation is not to be harsh, but to be free and holy and safe under God's care.
I also pray for the parents of this young man. It is the responsibility of a family to teach and correct their own children, not to place that burden on your daughter or to encourage her to carry what is not hers to carry. I pray that his father and mother will take proper responsibility for their son, stop overstepping boundaries into your daughter's life, and stop guiding her toward disobedience to her parents and distance from her family and faith. Honoring father and mother is foundational in God's order for the home, and disowning the family God has blessed her with to gain approval from others is not His will.
Your prayer for protection over yourself and your family is biblical. No weapon formed against those who belong to Jesus will ultimately prosper, and we can plead the covering of Christ over our homes. I pray that the Lord will go before you as a shield, give you strength and courage and grace as you continue to speak the truth in love, and keep you from returning evil for evil. Your relationship with Jesus will show in your countenance and your words, and it will enhance every other relationship as you walk in compassion, patience and courtesy.
Continue to pray that your daughter will hear the Lord say in her heart that she is His, that she belongs to Him, and that she can trust Him and trust the family He has given her to provide and protect and restore what has been taken. Pray that her friends will have courage to speak the truth, but even more that the Holy Spirit Himself will speak to her mind, heart and spirit and remove the stubborn hold this relationship has on her. Pray that she will stop seeking approval by diminishing her own worth and that God will quickly restore her freedom, independence, self respect, gratitude for her family, and joy in the work and purpose He has given her, including the promotion He has blessed her with.
Father in heaven, I lift this daughter to You. You see her and love her. Open her eyes to see clearly, soften her heart to receive truth, and give her the will to walk away from what is not Your will for her. Break the bonds of manipulation and financial exploitation and isolation. Silence ungodly counsel and protect her from jealous and disrespectful influence. Draw her back to Yourself and back to the love and unity of her family. Guard this mother and her household with Your peace, fill them with Your Holy Spirit, and let Your healing and favor rest on them. We trust that nothing is impossible for You and we ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope of salvation. Amen.
Scripture is clear that living together outside of marriage is not marriage. Marriage is a covenant before God between one man and one woman for life, and the intimacy, loyalty and authority that belong inside that covenant do not belong outside of it. Your daughter is not bound to obey this young man as if he were her husband, her finances are not his to manage or spend, and she is not obligated to put him or his family before the Lord and the family God has given her. To treat this arrangement as if it were marriage only deepens the confusion and makes it harder for her to see clearly. What you are asking, that she would see this truth and walk away with no regrets, is fully in line with God's will for her.
You have named the patterns so honestly, manipulation, dishonesty, control, laziness, exploitation of her kindness and her finances, division and isolation from those who love her. Those things are not love. Love builds up and shows respect and protects. What you describe tears down and uses and controls. When relationships are formed outside of God's design, jealousy, rivalry and strife so often follow, and everyone involved is hurt. A polluted environment is hard to live in without being touched by it, and we see how this lifestyle has brought exhaustion, ungratefulness and division into your home.
The deepest need here is her relationship with God. The first and most important relationship is with Him. When that relationship is right, other relationships begin to come into balance, and when it is broken or neglected, other relationships go wrong. Our sin separates us from God, but He invites us into a close, loving relationship as a Father with His children, not a cold or ritual observance but a living communion. I am praying that your daughter will remember and return to that first love for Jesus, that she will experience again what it is to be His daughter, to belong to Him and to be protected by Him. When she knows how deeply she is loved by Him, she will be able to recognize what is not love.
God knows how to deliver those who are His. Just as He delivered Lot, who was distressed and worn down by the manner of life around him, the Lord is able to deliver your daughter from this entanglement. He can flood her mind with supernatural clarity to see the red flags she has been excusing and to understand that she is being used, not cherished. I pray that the Lord will open her eyes to see this young man as he truly is, and to see that the counsel she is receiving to remain in this situation and to dishonor her family is ungodly and selfish. Scripture says to come out from among what is unclean and be separate, and to not love the world and its ways. That separation is not to be harsh, but to be free and holy and safe under God's care.
I also pray for the parents of this young man. It is the responsibility of a family to teach and correct their own children, not to place that burden on your daughter or to encourage her to carry what is not hers to carry. I pray that his father and mother will take proper responsibility for their son, stop overstepping boundaries into your daughter's life, and stop guiding her toward disobedience to her parents and distance from her family and faith. Honoring father and mother is foundational in God's order for the home, and disowning the family God has blessed her with to gain approval from others is not His will.
Your prayer for protection over yourself and your family is biblical. No weapon formed against those who belong to Jesus will ultimately prosper, and we can plead the covering of Christ over our homes. I pray that the Lord will go before you as a shield, give you strength and courage and grace as you continue to speak the truth in love, and keep you from returning evil for evil. Your relationship with Jesus will show in your countenance and your words, and it will enhance every other relationship as you walk in compassion, patience and courtesy.
Continue to pray that your daughter will hear the Lord say in her heart that she is His, that she belongs to Him, and that she can trust Him and trust the family He has given her to provide and protect and restore what has been taken. Pray that her friends will have courage to speak the truth, but even more that the Holy Spirit Himself will speak to her mind, heart and spirit and remove the stubborn hold this relationship has on her. Pray that she will stop seeking approval by diminishing her own worth and that God will quickly restore her freedom, independence, self respect, gratitude for her family, and joy in the work and purpose He has given her, including the promotion He has blessed her with.
Father in heaven, I lift this daughter to You. You see her and love her. Open her eyes to see clearly, soften her heart to receive truth, and give her the will to walk away from what is not Your will for her. Break the bonds of manipulation and financial exploitation and isolation. Silence ungodly counsel and protect her from jealous and disrespectful influence. Draw her back to Yourself and back to the love and unity of her family. Guard this mother and her household with Your peace, fill them with Your Holy Spirit, and let Your healing and favor rest on them. We trust that nothing is impossible for You and we ask all this in the name of Jesus Christ, our only hope of salvation. Amen.
