We join you together in prayer for your older daughter and for your whole family, and we thank you for bringing this burden before the Lord with such clarity and urgency. We hear your cry for her freedom, protection and restoration, and we stand with you in declaring that she belongs to the Lord and that He is mighty to save and to deliver.
We agree with you that what you are describing is not love and is not marriage. Living together outside of marriage is not marriage in God's eyes, it is fornication, and Scripture calls us to flee from it. The Word says, Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and also Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4 and But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints. Ephesians 5:3. A boyfriend and girlfriend relationship should be courtship with the goal of marriage to another Christian believer, not an arrangement of cohabitation and using one another. When a relationship is marked by greed, laziness, control, dishonesty, manipulation, financial exploitation, division, isolation and exhaustion, that is not the love God describes, for Love is patient and is kind, love does not envy, love does not brag, is not proud, does not behave itself inappropriately, does not seek its own way, is not provoked, takes no account of evil. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. We also lovingly rebuke the idolatry in this situation, for to idolize and obey this young man and his mother and to put them before faith, family and the purpose God has given her is to give to people the place that belongs to God alone.
We also discern with you the spiritual reality behind this. You are right to name spiritual attacks, for our wrestling is not against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world's rulers of the darkness of this age, and against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12. The enemy works through ungodly counsel, and we are warned, Blessed is the man who doesn't walk in the counsel of the wicked. Psalm 1:1. When advice comes from those guiding her to remain in an ungodly lifestyle and living arrangement, that counsel must be rejected and replaced with the wisdom that comes from above. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5. We pray that God will renew her mind so she will no longer be conformed to this world, but transformed by the renewing of her mind. Romans 12:2 and that she will know the truth, and the truth will make you free. John 8:32.
We take comfort that the Lord indeed says she is His. He says, I have called you by your name. You are mine. Isaiah 43:1 and See how great a love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God. 1 John 3:1. He sees her, He loves her, and He desires her wholeness. We also remember His promise to restore, I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten. Joel 2:25.
So we pray together now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, for there is no other name by which we have access to You and no other name by which we are saved. We lift up this precious daughter to You. Lord, flood her mind with supernatural clarity, open her eyes, her heart and her spirit to see clearly that this exhaustion, financial hardship, division, isolation, chaos and disrespect are fruit of this toxic and ungodly relationship and living arrangement. Remove every veil and every deception, expose the wolf in sheep's clothing for who he truly is, not a shepherd, not a provider, not ready for a godly marriage. Break every chain of control, manipulation and idolatry that binds her to this young man and his mother, and forgive her where she has put people before You. Give her godly sorrow that leads to repentance and give her courage and wisdom to release herself swiftly and completely, to flee sexual immorality and to walk away without regret. Guide her steps to move back home if that is Your will, and protect her with every ounce of Your power. Restore to her, Lord, her faith, her freedom, her independence, her self-worth, her peace, her satisfaction and her sweet fellowship with her family. Heal the division in this family, saturate each one with Your Holy Spirit, with Your peace, love, favor, protection, respect and healing. Let this family dwell together in unity again. We pray that going forward she will pursue only relationships that honor You, seeking a godly spouse in marriage as You designed it to be a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, if it is Your will for her to marry, and that she will walk in purity and purpose. We ask for Your special blessing upon this mother and her children tonight and today. The righteous cry, and Yahweh hears, and delivers them out of all their troubles. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:17-18. Hear this mother's cry, Lord, and deliver. In Jesus' name we pray, Amen.
We encourage you to continue to speak the truth in love to your daughter without condemnation, keeping the door of home and fellowship open while not enabling the sin. Continue to declare Scripture over her daily, to fast and pray as the Lord leads, and to surround yourselves with faithful believers who will pray and counsel according to the Word. Trust that God will provide, protect and restore everything the enemy has tried to take, for we know that all things work together for good for those who love God, for those who are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28. Keep your eyes on Jesus, rest in His power and not your own striving, and watch for the Lord to work in His perfect timing.