We join you right now in lifting up your precious older daughter and your whole family before the throne of grace in Jesus name, and we agree with you that the Lord is speaking over her, she is His daughter and she belongs to Him and He will protect her with all His power.
We thank you for your discernment and for speaking truth in love about this relationship. You are right to see it clearly. What you describe is not love. Love is patient and kind, love does not seek its own way, is not greedy or controlling or dishonest, 1 Cor 13:4-5. What you describe is exploitation and manipulation and control, and the exhaustion, financial hardship, division, isolation, chaos and spiritual oppression you are seeing are the fruit of a relationship that is not rooted in Christ. The thief only comes to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus came that we may have life and have it abundantly, John 10:10. And we wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities and spiritual forces of wickedness, Eph 6:12, so we understand why you feel the spiritual attacks over her and your family.
We must also lovingly and firmly address what you have already named, that living together outside of marriage is not marriage and is not pleasing to God. Scripture is clear that marriage is to be held in honor among all and the marriage bed undefiled, Heb 13:4, and that we are to flee sexual immorality, 1 Cor 6:18. Every sin that a person does is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. God designed sexual intimacy for the covenant of marriage alone, a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman, and any courtship should be with the goal of finding a godly spouse who is a fellow believer in Christ, not a partner to live with. Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, 2 Cor 6:14, and bad company corrupts good morals, 1 Cor 15:33. When a young woman idolizes and obeys a man above God, above her faith and above the God given family who loves her, and puts him and his family first, that is idolatry and disorder. We are to seek first God's Kingdom and His righteousness, Matt 6:33, and to honor father and mother, Eph 6:2-3. He is not her covering, he is not her husband, and he has no right to exploit her finances, her labor, or her body for selfish benefit. His lifestyle is not a home.
We also hear your heart that she is being used and not loved, and that he presents as a wolf in sheep's clothing. Jesus warned us to beware of false prophets who come in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves, Matt 7:15. We pray for supernatural clarity to flood her mind and for the veil to be lifted so she will see this man for who he truly is and see that this control and greed is not love and not shepherding.
We pray together with you now.
Father in heaven, in the mighty name of Jesus Christ we come boldly before You and we lift up this beloved daughter to You. Lord, You know her by name, You formed her, You love her, and we thank You that she is Yours. We ask You to open her eyes, open her heart and her spirit. Give her wisdom generously as You promise to all who ask, James 1:5, and give her courage and a sound mind, for You have not given us a spirit of fear but of power, love, and self-control, 2 Tim 1:7. Let the truth set her free, John 8:32, and let her see clearly the source of this exhaustion and division and isolation. Convict her heart about living outside of Your design for marriage and give her a holy desire for purity and for a godly marriage if it is Your will, or for wholeness in You as she waits. Break every chain of manipulation, financial exploitation, control and dishonesty. Expose every lie and let her see that she is being used and not cherished. Whisper to her spirit, walk away, trust Me, trust the family I gave you, and let her respond in obedience swiftly and completely with no regret. Guide her steps to move back home where she is safe and loved, and guard her going out and coming in. We ask You to restore what the enemy has tried to steal, her independence, her self worth, her peace, her purpose, her joy and her sweet unity with her family, Joel 2:25. Surround her and her family with Your favor as with a shield, Psalm 5:12, and let those who dwell in the secret place of the Most High rest in Your shadow, Psalm 91:1. Fill this whole family tonight with Your Holy Spirit, saturate every room and every heart with Your peace that passes all understanding, Phil 4:7, Your love, Your favor, Your protection and Your healing. Let there be no more chaos, but order and thankfulness and rest. We speak life and freedom over her and we declare that this young man and his mother will not steal what You have given her. Keep her from the evil one, John 17:15, and let her walk in the freedom Christ died to give her. In Jesus name we pray, amen.
We encourage you to continue to stand firm in prayer and in truth with unwavering love. Keep speaking the truth in love, Eph 4:15, keep the door home open with grace, and keep setting godly boundaries. Do not enable financially what God wants to set free, and do not be afraid to name sin as sin while offering the hope of forgiveness and restoration through Jesus. Trust the Lord to provide, protect and restore everything the enemy has tried to take. He is faithful, He who calls you is faithful, who will also do it, 1 Thess 5:24. We are standing with you for her swift and complete release and for the peace and restoration of your household.