Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for bringing this burden before the Lord and for your desire to see this brother restored to faithful fellowship with Jesus Christ. We join you in praying for him, and we want to share some biblical counsel to guide how we pray.
The passage you mentioned in Hosea is a beautiful picture of God's heart. There the Lord speaks of betrothing His people to Himself forever in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy and faithfulness, so that they may truly know Him. He promises to answer and to show mercy to those who had not obtained mercy, and to say to those who were not His people, you are My people, and they shall answer, You are my God. That is the hope of restoration. When a person has wandered, God in Christ still holds out mercy and calls that person back to know Him and to walk faithfully with Him.
Scripture is clear that sexual immorality is not God's design for the body. The body is not made for fornication but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Fornication is described as a sin against one's own body, and adultery can be committed even in the heart when we desire what God has forbidden. The works of the flesh, including adultery, fornication and sexual impurity, are not to be named among God's people as fitting for saints. God's call is to flee such things, not to entertain them or to take pleasure in them, even in what we watch or approve in others. To give our love and worship to anything other than God, whether it is another person, or the pleasure of sex itself, is spiritual unfaithfulness to Him.
Scripture also gives a direct warning, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. This is not limited to marriage, though marriage is one of the most binding yokes, but it speaks to any close partnership where a believer is bound together with an unbeliever. The reason is that the two do not share the same foundation. Light and darkness, righteousness and unrighteousness, Christ and that which opposes Him, have no true fellowship. They are like oil and water and do not mix. A believer lives by God's ethic and Word, while an unbeliever does not follow those same rules. What may not trouble the conscience of one will trouble the other, and the yoke will always be unequal and pull unevenly. Many believe their situation is the exception and that love will change the other person, but the Word counsels otherwise and warns not to enter that yoke.
It is important to understand how that warning applies. It is a command about whom not to join together with in the beginning. Once a marriage covenant has been entered, even if it was entered unwisely or with an unbeliever, God's design for marriage is that it is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs only within that covenant. The New Testament does not instruct a believer who is already married to drive an unbelieving spouse out of the home if that spouse is willing to remain. Rather, it calls the believer to remain faithful, to live in holiness and love, and to pray for the salvation of the other. Therefore we do not pray that this brother would simply cast this woman out of his house in anger or contempt. We pray instead that God would work according to His holy will in that home, that both would come to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation, and that the marriage would either be honored in holiness before God or, if they are not truly married but living together outside of marriage, that they would flee fornication and either separate or pursue marriage in the Lord in a way that honors Him. In either case the path forward needs humble, face to face pastoral counsel and accountability, not a hasty action taken alone.
True restoration also requires more than sorrow. There is a sorrow that is merely being sorry for consequences or for being caught, and that sorrow leads to death. There is also a godly sorrow that leads to repentance, and repentance always means a change. It is not only feeling sorry but turning away from what is wrong and walking in a new direction by God's grace. For this brother, that would mean confessing sin to God, turning from fornication and adultery, and choosing to walk in purity and faithfulness to Christ, whatever the cost.
So we will pray with you in this way. We pray that this brother would experience godly sorrow that produces real repentance and a clear change of life, that he would be restored to close fellowship with the Lord and would know Him more deeply, that he would have unwavering faith in Jesus Christ and trust the Father's holy plan for his life, and that he would flee all sexual immorality and honor God with his body. We pray that if this woman does not know Christ, God in His mercy would draw her to salvation through Jesus, and that both would be made new as His people. We pray that God would give this brother wisdom, courage and godly counsel to do what is righteous and just and merciful in his household, not driven by bitterness but by obedience to Christ. And we pray that those who love him and encourage him to follow God would be protected and not be persecuted for speaking the truth in love.
May God be glorified as He answers according to His mercy and faithfulness, and may He betroth this brother to Himself anew in righteousness and lovingkindness, that he may know the Lord and walk in His ways.
The passage you mentioned in Hosea is a beautiful picture of God's heart. There the Lord speaks of betrothing His people to Himself forever in righteousness and justice, in lovingkindness and mercy and faithfulness, so that they may truly know Him. He promises to answer and to show mercy to those who had not obtained mercy, and to say to those who were not His people, you are My people, and they shall answer, You are my God. That is the hope of restoration. When a person has wandered, God in Christ still holds out mercy and calls that person back to know Him and to walk faithfully with Him.
Scripture is clear that sexual immorality is not God's design for the body. The body is not made for fornication but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. Fornication is described as a sin against one's own body, and adultery can be committed even in the heart when we desire what God has forbidden. The works of the flesh, including adultery, fornication and sexual impurity, are not to be named among God's people as fitting for saints. God's call is to flee such things, not to entertain them or to take pleasure in them, even in what we watch or approve in others. To give our love and worship to anything other than God, whether it is another person, or the pleasure of sex itself, is spiritual unfaithfulness to Him.
Scripture also gives a direct warning, do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. This is not limited to marriage, though marriage is one of the most binding yokes, but it speaks to any close partnership where a believer is bound together with an unbeliever. The reason is that the two do not share the same foundation. Light and darkness, righteousness and unrighteousness, Christ and that which opposes Him, have no true fellowship. They are like oil and water and do not mix. A believer lives by God's ethic and Word, while an unbeliever does not follow those same rules. What may not trouble the conscience of one will trouble the other, and the yoke will always be unequal and pull unevenly. Many believe their situation is the exception and that love will change the other person, but the Word counsels otherwise and warns not to enter that yoke.
It is important to understand how that warning applies. It is a command about whom not to join together with in the beginning. Once a marriage covenant has been entered, even if it was entered unwisely or with an unbeliever, God's design for marriage is that it is a lifelong covenant of one man and one woman, and sexual union belongs only within that covenant. The New Testament does not instruct a believer who is already married to drive an unbelieving spouse out of the home if that spouse is willing to remain. Rather, it calls the believer to remain faithful, to live in holiness and love, and to pray for the salvation of the other. Therefore we do not pray that this brother would simply cast this woman out of his house in anger or contempt. We pray instead that God would work according to His holy will in that home, that both would come to repentance and faith in Jesus Christ alone for salvation, and that the marriage would either be honored in holiness before God or, if they are not truly married but living together outside of marriage, that they would flee fornication and either separate or pursue marriage in the Lord in a way that honors Him. In either case the path forward needs humble, face to face pastoral counsel and accountability, not a hasty action taken alone.
True restoration also requires more than sorrow. There is a sorrow that is merely being sorry for consequences or for being caught, and that sorrow leads to death. There is also a godly sorrow that leads to repentance, and repentance always means a change. It is not only feeling sorry but turning away from what is wrong and walking in a new direction by God's grace. For this brother, that would mean confessing sin to God, turning from fornication and adultery, and choosing to walk in purity and faithfulness to Christ, whatever the cost.
So we will pray with you in this way. We pray that this brother would experience godly sorrow that produces real repentance and a clear change of life, that he would be restored to close fellowship with the Lord and would know Him more deeply, that he would have unwavering faith in Jesus Christ and trust the Father's holy plan for his life, and that he would flee all sexual immorality and honor God with his body. We pray that if this woman does not know Christ, God in His mercy would draw her to salvation through Jesus, and that both would be made new as His people. We pray that God would give this brother wisdom, courage and godly counsel to do what is righteous and just and merciful in his household, not driven by bitterness but by obedience to Christ. And we pray that those who love him and encourage him to follow God would be protected and not be persecuted for speaking the truth in love.
May God be glorified as He answers according to His mercy and faithfulness, and may He betroth this brother to Himself anew in righteousness and lovingkindness, that he may know the Lord and walk in His ways.
