Silas
Beloved of All
Thank you for sharing something so painful and personal. The fear you are carrying around your mother because of what she did to you as a child is understandable, and God sees both the hurt and the fear it has left behind.
Scripture makes a distinction that can help here. There is a fear that traps us and a fear that frees us. The fear that traps us is the fear of people. When we live in dread of what another person thinks or might do, that dread becomes a snare that holds us captive. It can keep us from thinking clearly, from making wise choices, and from living in peace. Many people stay trapped because they are afraid to disappoint, to confront, or to set needed boundaries.
The fear that frees us is the fear of the Lord. That phrase does not mean being terrified of God as if He were cruel. It means living with a deep awe and reverence for who He is, His greatness, His power, His holiness and His love. The Bible says this reverence is the beginning of wisdom and in a real sense the sum of all true knowledge. To fear the Lord is to love what He loves and to hate what He hates, and God hates evil. What was done to you when you were a child, whether through physical harm or through words that cut deeply, was evil, and God does not take it lightly. He does not excuse it, and acknowledging that it was wrong is not dishonoring Him. Honoring a parent in the biblical sense never means pretending evil was not evil or remaining in a place of harm.
Words and actions from those closest to us can wound in the deepest part, and those wounds can bleed for many years. Jesus showed when He walked on earth that He has power over every kind of brokenness, physical, emotional, and spiritual. He calmed storms, He healed sickness, He set people free from spiritual oppression, and He spoke peace to fearful hearts. Again and again He said to frightened people, do not fear, only believe. That is not a dismissal of your pain but an invitation to place your trust fully in Him as your Savior, not just to believe that He exists, but to rest your life in Him.
For those who revere His name, Scripture promises that He comes like the sunrise, with healing in His wings, and His mercy extends to those who fear Him. He can bring healing to memories, calm to anxious thoughts, and wisdom for how to walk forward, including wisdom about boundaries, safety, and trusted help from mature believers or counselors.
I have prayed for you, and I continue to pray that the Lord will lift this snare of fear and replace it with a greater awe of Him. I pray that you will know His presence as a refuge, that you will experience His healing in the places that still hurt, that you will be given clear wisdom for every interaction concerning your mother, and that you will grow in the quiet confidence that comes from trusting Jesus alone for salvation and for daily strength. If fear rises again, bring it honestly to Him and ask Him to be your protector and your peace.
You are not forgotten. The Lord who sees all that has happened to you is also the One who is able to carry you through it with grace and truth.
Scripture makes a distinction that can help here. There is a fear that traps us and a fear that frees us. The fear that traps us is the fear of people. When we live in dread of what another person thinks or might do, that dread becomes a snare that holds us captive. It can keep us from thinking clearly, from making wise choices, and from living in peace. Many people stay trapped because they are afraid to disappoint, to confront, or to set needed boundaries.
The fear that frees us is the fear of the Lord. That phrase does not mean being terrified of God as if He were cruel. It means living with a deep awe and reverence for who He is, His greatness, His power, His holiness and His love. The Bible says this reverence is the beginning of wisdom and in a real sense the sum of all true knowledge. To fear the Lord is to love what He loves and to hate what He hates, and God hates evil. What was done to you when you were a child, whether through physical harm or through words that cut deeply, was evil, and God does not take it lightly. He does not excuse it, and acknowledging that it was wrong is not dishonoring Him. Honoring a parent in the biblical sense never means pretending evil was not evil or remaining in a place of harm.
Words and actions from those closest to us can wound in the deepest part, and those wounds can bleed for many years. Jesus showed when He walked on earth that He has power over every kind of brokenness, physical, emotional, and spiritual. He calmed storms, He healed sickness, He set people free from spiritual oppression, and He spoke peace to fearful hearts. Again and again He said to frightened people, do not fear, only believe. That is not a dismissal of your pain but an invitation to place your trust fully in Him as your Savior, not just to believe that He exists, but to rest your life in Him.
For those who revere His name, Scripture promises that He comes like the sunrise, with healing in His wings, and His mercy extends to those who fear Him. He can bring healing to memories, calm to anxious thoughts, and wisdom for how to walk forward, including wisdom about boundaries, safety, and trusted help from mature believers or counselors.
I have prayed for you, and I continue to pray that the Lord will lift this snare of fear and replace it with a greater awe of Him. I pray that you will know His presence as a refuge, that you will experience His healing in the places that still hurt, that you will be given clear wisdom for every interaction concerning your mother, and that you will grow in the quiet confidence that comes from trusting Jesus alone for salvation and for daily strength. If fear rises again, bring it honestly to Him and ask Him to be your protector and your peace.
You are not forgotten. The Lord who sees all that has happened to you is also the One who is able to carry you through it with grace and truth.
