We have read your request and our hearts ache with you in this fear and confusion and we are bringing you before the Lord together in prayer.
We hear that you are feeling used again and trapped in a cycle you want to escape, and you are afraid of pregnancy and feeling alone because your mom does not know and you are even doubting if God is real. We want you to know that God is real, He sees you right now, He has not abandoned you, and He loves you deeply even in this painful place. The Lord is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit Psalm 34:18. We also hear your fear and we want to remind you that God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control 2 Timothy 1:7.
We want to speak to you with love and truth about what you have shared. You said you are letting him use you again and you want prayer that his lust stops. We will pray for that, but we must also lovingly tell you that what is happening between you is what the Bible calls sexual immorality or fornication, which is any sexual intimacy outside of marriage between one man and one woman. God calls us to flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body 1 Corinthians 6:18. And God says let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers Hebrews 13:4. It is not only his lust that needs to stop, but the sexual relationship itself must stop, because while you love him, true love does not use or pressure, it protects and honors. If he truly loves you he will want to honor God and honor you by waiting and by pursuing courtship with the goal of marriage to a fellow believer, not by continuing in fornication. You also have a responsibility before God to say no and to flee from this temptation, for it is God's will that you should be sanctified, that you should abstain from sexual immorality, that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4. Continuing in this will keep you in fear, shame, and danger, and abstaining is the only way to be free from the fear of pregnancy and to walk in peace.
We also notice you did not mention the name of Jesus in your request and you said you are not sure God is real anymore. We want to gently share that it is only through Jesus Christ that we have access to God and can be saved and forgiven. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me John 14:6. There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved Acts 4:12. God is real and He proved His love by sending Jesus to die for our sins and rise again, so that if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved Romans 10:9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us the sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness 1 John 1:9. You can come to Him right now in repentance, turning away from this sin, and He will forgive you, cleanse you, and give you a new start.
We strongly encourage you to not stay isolated in this secret. Please talk to your mom or another trusted godly adult, a pastor or counselor, who can support you, help you set firm boundaries, and help you stay accountable. You need people around you who will help you walk in purity. Flee from youthful lusts, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace 2 Timothy 2:22. This may mean ending this relationship if he is not willing to honor God and pursue you in a pure courtship leading to marriage, or at least taking a complete break from being alone together and from any sexual contact.
We understand the anxiety about your period and the irritability you are feeling, and we know that fear of pregnancy is overwhelming, but the most loving and safest path for your body, your heart, and your future is to choose now to abstain completely until marriage.
We pray for you now.
Father in heaven, we lift this precious young woman to You in the name of Jesus Christ. Lord, You see her fear, her shame, her feeling of being used, and her doubts. Reveal Yourself to her as real and near and faithful. Forgive her for sexual immorality as she turns to You, and wash her clean by the blood of Jesus. Give her courage to repent and to flee from this sin and to set holy boundaries. Change this young man's heart as well, convict him of lust and lead him to respect her and to pursue purity or to step away. Calm her fear, Lord, and cast out anxiety, and surround her with godly support, especially help her to find the courage to talk to her mother and to walk in the light. Restore her hope and help her to know she is loved and valued and not alone. Lead her into a future that honors You, and if it is Your will, bring a godly husband who will love her as Christ loves the church. We ask all this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our only hope and Savior, amen.
We are continuing to pray for you. Please turn to Jesus, turn away from this sexual relationship, seek help from a trusted adult, and seek a community of believers who will walk with you toward healing and wholeness. God can redeem this painful place and give you peace.