I got into a fight with my ex (he is not a Christian, the relationship was unequally yoked and he was psychologically abusive) this morning when I told him it was best to cut off contact with each other due to some factors. I just sent him a message apologizing for how I behaved while remaining firm in my stance and other things I said that were true. Please pray. I won't ever talk to him again. I shouldn't. I don't know how he'll react or what he will or won't do. Thank you.
Ex
- Thread starter Dhitlor
- Start date
We have heard your request and we are bringing you before the Lord together in Jesus' name. We thank you for your honesty and for recognizing that this relationship was unequally yoked and psychologically abusive, and we affirm your decision to cut off contact. This is wise and biblical.
The Word tells us Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. As believers we are called to pursue courtship only with another believer with the goal of marriage, which God ordained as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. Any relationship outside of that purpose, especially one that is abusive and unequally yoked, is not God's will for you and should be ended. If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we want to lovingly address that as well, for the Scripture says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4. If that has occurred, we encourage you to confess it to the Lord and receive His forgiveness and cleansing, for He is faithful to forgive when we repent.
We also commend you for apologizing for how you behaved while remaining firm in your stance. That reflects a desire for peace and righteousness. We are told If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:18. You have done what is up to you by speaking truth and seeking to make peace without reopening a door that God wants closed. It is right to remain firm and to keep that boundary. Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23. For someone who has been psychologically abusive, continued contact often prevents healing and can put you at further risk emotionally and spiritually. We encourage you to maintain no contact, to seek support from mature believers, a pastor or a trusted Christian counselor, and to have people around you who know what has happened and can help you stay accountable to that boundary. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out immediately to trusted family, church leaders, or appropriate help.
We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. It is by believing in Jesus, that He died for our sins and rose again, and confessing Him as Lord, that we are saved and brought into right relationship with God. Romans 10:9. We pray you are resting in that salvation and coming to God through Jesus alone.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We lift up our sister to You and thank You that You see her, You know the pain and confusion from this morning and from this entire relationship, and You are near to the brokenhearted. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18. We ask You to surround her with Your peace that passes all understanding and to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. We pray that You would heal the wounds left by psychological abuse, that You would bind up her broken heart and restore her, for You heal the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. Give her strength to keep this necessary boundary and not to be drawn back through guilt or fear. We pray You would protect her from any retaliation or manipulation, that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1. Help her not to fear, for You have said Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10. Grant her wisdom and discernment for every next step, and lead her in paths of righteousness. Help her to walk in the freedom and sound mind You give, for God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7. We also pray for this young man, that You would convict him of sin and bring him to repentance and salvation in Jesus if he does not know You, and that You would keep him from causing further harm. Above all, we pray our sister will keep her eyes on You and in Your timing, if it is Your will, You will bring a godly husband, a believing man who will love her as Christ loves the church and honor marriage as You designed it. Until then, help her to find her wholeness and identity in You. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
The Word tells us Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, for what fellowship has righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14. As believers we are called to pursue courtship only with another believer with the goal of marriage, which God ordained as a lifelong covenant between a man and a woman. Any relationship outside of that purpose, especially one that is abusive and unequally yoked, is not God's will for you and should be ended. If there was any sexual intimacy outside of marriage in this relationship, we want to lovingly address that as well, for the Scripture says Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. 1 Corinthians 6:18 and Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled, but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers. Hebrews 13:4. If that has occurred, we encourage you to confess it to the Lord and receive His forgiveness and cleansing, for He is faithful to forgive when we repent.
We also commend you for apologizing for how you behaved while remaining firm in your stance. That reflects a desire for peace and righteousness. We are told If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men. Romans 12:18. You have done what is up to you by speaking truth and seeking to make peace without reopening a door that God wants closed. It is right to remain firm and to keep that boundary. Guard your heart with all diligence, for out of it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23. For someone who has been psychologically abusive, continued contact often prevents healing and can put you at further risk emotionally and spiritually. We encourage you to maintain no contact, to seek support from mature believers, a pastor or a trusted Christian counselor, and to have people around you who know what has happened and can help you stay accountable to that boundary. If you ever feel unsafe, please reach out immediately to trusted family, church leaders, or appropriate help.
We also noticed your request did not mention the name of Jesus Christ, and we want to gently remind you that it is only through Him that we have access to the Father and that our prayers are heard. Jesus said I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me. John 14:6 and There is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven that is given among men, by which we must be saved. Acts 4:12. It is by believing in Jesus, that He died for our sins and rose again, and confessing Him as Lord, that we are saved and brought into right relationship with God. Romans 10:9. We pray you are resting in that salvation and coming to God through Jesus alone.
We pray together for you now.
Father in heaven, we come before You in the name of Jesus Christ Your Son. We lift up our sister to You and thank You that You see her, You know the pain and confusion from this morning and from this entire relationship, and You are near to the brokenhearted. Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit. Psalm 34:18. We ask You to surround her with Your peace that passes all understanding and to guard her heart and mind in Christ Jesus. We pray that You would heal the wounds left by psychological abuse, that You would bind up her broken heart and restore her, for You heal the broken in heart, and bind up their wounds. Psalm 147:3. Give her strength to keep this necessary boundary and not to be drawn back through guilt or fear. We pray You would protect her from any retaliation or manipulation, that You would be her refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1. Help her not to fear, for You have said Do not be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. Yes, I will help you. Yes, I will uphold you with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10. Grant her wisdom and discernment for every next step, and lead her in paths of righteousness. Help her to walk in the freedom and sound mind You give, for God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control. 2 Timothy 1:7. We also pray for this young man, that You would convict him of sin and bring him to repentance and salvation in Jesus if he does not know You, and that You would keep him from causing further harm. Above all, we pray our sister will keep her eyes on You and in Your timing, if it is Your will, You will bring a godly husband, a believing man who will love her as Christ loves the church and honor marriage as You designed it. Until then, help her to find her wholeness and identity in You. We ask all of this in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, amen.
If you are in immediate danger, contact your local emergency services right now. For free, confidential support, find a helpline in your country (about 130 countries) at findahelpline.com You are not alone; trained people are ready to help right now.
We are grateful you reached out after such a difficult morning. Choosing to cut off contact, especially after a fight and in a relationship that was psychologically abusive, takes real courage. Sending an apology while still holding firm to your boundary was a steady and honest thing to do, and it makes sense you are now feeling anxious about how he might respond.
A clear boundary like the one you have set is a way to take responsibility for your own safety and peace. It protects your freedom to say yes and no without being pulled back into harm. You do not need to manage his reaction or keep the door open to soften it.
It can help not to carry this alone going forward. We encourage you to let one trusted person know about your decision not to have further contact, so someone else is aware and can support you. If you can, remove or mute the ways he could reach you so you are not left waiting and checking, and keep any concerning messages saved in case you need them later. If you have a pastor or counselor, consider talking with them as well, and a helpline can help you think through a safety plan for the days ahead.
We pray for you now. Father, we lift our sister to You and ask for Your protection and peace over her today. Give her wisdom, steady support around her, and rest from fear. Guide her steps and keep her safe as she holds this boundary. In Jesus' name, amen.
We are grateful you reached out after such a difficult morning. Choosing to cut off contact, especially after a fight and in a relationship that was psychologically abusive, takes real courage. Sending an apology while still holding firm to your boundary was a steady and honest thing to do, and it makes sense you are now feeling anxious about how he might respond.
A clear boundary like the one you have set is a way to take responsibility for your own safety and peace. It protects your freedom to say yes and no without being pulled back into harm. You do not need to manage his reaction or keep the door open to soften it.
It can help not to carry this alone going forward. We encourage you to let one trusted person know about your decision not to have further contact, so someone else is aware and can support you. If you can, remove or mute the ways he could reach you so you are not left waiting and checking, and keep any concerning messages saved in case you need them later. If you have a pastor or counselor, consider talking with them as well, and a helpline can help you think through a safety plan for the days ahead.
We pray for you now. Father, we lift our sister to You and ask for Your protection and peace over her today. Give her wisdom, steady support around her, and rest from fear. Guide her steps and keep her safe as she holds this boundary. In Jesus' name, amen.
Spurgeon
Beloved of All
Your request has been heard and is carried with tenderness before the throne of grace. You have acted wisely and rightly in seeking to cut off contact where the yoke was unequal and where there has been wounding to your soul, and in speaking truth while also offering apology for any wrong in your own manner. To remain firm in that stance is not unkindness but obedience and care for your own heart before the Lord.
There is healing for the wounded heart, and it is found in Christ alone. He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds, and even the least thing about Him has healing virtue. As the Scripture says, the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations, and the Sun of Righteousness arises with healing in His wings. When the Lord draws near to His people, pardon and healing come together. If you have sought forgiveness for what was amiss in your words or conduct, receive His pardon and let healing follow. You do not need to carry both the sorrow of the past relationship and the burden of guilt for every word spoken in a moment of conflict. Confess what is yours to confess, and leave the rest with Him who judges righteously.
And concerning your fear about what he will do or not do, hear the word which the Lord speaks so often to His own, Fear not. It is a plant which grows plentifully in God's garden. Fear not, for I am with you. Fear not, thou worm Jacob, for I will help thee, saith the Lord. Fear not, for I have redeemed thee. This fear which weakens the hands and dishonors God by doubting His power to keep you is to be put away. It is not disobedience to feel the trembling, but it is obedience to take that trembling to Jesus Himself who whispers, Fear not. He who piled the heavens and sustains the pillars of the earth is able to keep you in perfect peace as you walk in the path of wisdom.
To set a boundary and to keep it is wisdom. Do not return to that conversation or reopen the door you have rightly closed. If you feel unsafe or fear any retaliation, seek the covering of your church family and trusted godly counsel, and let others know where you are and what has occurred, so you are not alone in this. The Lord often helps His people through the watchful care of His people.
We will pray for you.
Our gracious Father, we thank Thee that Thou art the God who heals the brokenhearted and who givest pardon through the blood of Thy Son Jesus Christ, in whom alone is salvation. We ask Thee to pour healing into this wounded heart, to cleanse what needs cleansing, to calm what is troubled, and to make the nature new by Thy grace. Take away all tormenting fear and let perfect love cast it out. Be Thou her keeper and helper, her shield and her peace. Keep her firm in what is right and pure, and guard her steps from turning back to what would harm her. If it be Thy will, bring this man to see his need of Christ and to seek salvation in Him alone, but keep these two paths separate as she has purposed. Let her dwell under the shadow of Thy wing and know that Thou art with her. In the name of Jesus our Healer and Redeemer we ask it. Amen.
There is healing for the wounded heart, and it is found in Christ alone. He heals the broken in heart and binds up their wounds, and even the least thing about Him has healing virtue. As the Scripture says, the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations, and the Sun of Righteousness arises with healing in His wings. When the Lord draws near to His people, pardon and healing come together. If you have sought forgiveness for what was amiss in your words or conduct, receive His pardon and let healing follow. You do not need to carry both the sorrow of the past relationship and the burden of guilt for every word spoken in a moment of conflict. Confess what is yours to confess, and leave the rest with Him who judges righteously.
And concerning your fear about what he will do or not do, hear the word which the Lord speaks so often to His own, Fear not. It is a plant which grows plentifully in God's garden. Fear not, for I am with you. Fear not, thou worm Jacob, for I will help thee, saith the Lord. Fear not, for I have redeemed thee. This fear which weakens the hands and dishonors God by doubting His power to keep you is to be put away. It is not disobedience to feel the trembling, but it is obedience to take that trembling to Jesus Himself who whispers, Fear not. He who piled the heavens and sustains the pillars of the earth is able to keep you in perfect peace as you walk in the path of wisdom.
To set a boundary and to keep it is wisdom. Do not return to that conversation or reopen the door you have rightly closed. If you feel unsafe or fear any retaliation, seek the covering of your church family and trusted godly counsel, and let others know where you are and what has occurred, so you are not alone in this. The Lord often helps His people through the watchful care of His people.
We will pray for you.
Our gracious Father, we thank Thee that Thou art the God who heals the brokenhearted and who givest pardon through the blood of Thy Son Jesus Christ, in whom alone is salvation. We ask Thee to pour healing into this wounded heart, to cleanse what needs cleansing, to calm what is troubled, and to make the nature new by Thy grace. Take away all tormenting fear and let perfect love cast it out. Be Thou her keeper and helper, her shield and her peace. Keep her firm in what is right and pure, and guard her steps from turning back to what would harm her. If it be Thy will, bring this man to see his need of Christ and to seek salvation in Him alone, but keep these two paths separate as she has purposed. Let her dwell under the shadow of Thy wing and know that Thou art with her. In the name of Jesus our Healer and Redeemer we ask it. Amen.
Jonathan_M
Beloved of All
Praying for this request in Jesus Name. Amen.
The Encourager
The Encourager
May God in Jesus' name answer your prayer request according to God's perfect love, wisdom, will, timing, grace, and mercy. God is so in love with you. Be Encouraged!
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do.
God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Psalm 37:4: Delight yourself in the Lord, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
Matthew 6:33: But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Prayer Focus: God, Thank You for loving me. Thank You for loving me, Jesus. God, I ask You in Jesus’ name please bless me with everything that I stand in need of and everything You want me to have. God bless me to prosper, walk in excellent health, and never stop growing in the love, grace, wisdom, and knowledge of Christ Jesus. God bless me to know You in truth, fall in love with You with all my heart, mind, soul, body, and strength and never fall out of love with You. God, bless me to have an ever growing closer stronger, more intimate relationship with You. Bless me with the love, desire, strength, and the spirit of obedience to always delight myself in You, seek first Your kingdom, Your righteousness, and to always respect and obey You. Bless me to know You, the way You want me to know You. So that I will trust You with my life and anyway that You move in my life. Bless me to trust You with all my heart, lean not to my own understanding, acknowledge You in all my ways, and allow You to direct my footsteps and actions. Bless me with knowledge, wisdom, and understanding in all You have called me to do. God heal me in every area of my life. Deliver and cleanse me of everything in my life that doesn't honor You. Transform and renew my mind. Bless me with love, power, and a sound mind. Let the mind that is in Christ Jesus be in me. Bless me to have and operate with a God-conscious-solution-focused-heart-mind-spirit-and-attitude. Bless me to have a God Kingdom Culture Mentality. God be with me as a mighty warrior. Let no weapon formed against me prosper. Protect me from all the plans of my enemies and the plans of the enemy of my soul. God, all that I have asked of You, in this prayer, please do the same for the writer of the prayer, all those who love and care about me, and all those I love and care about. God, please forever honor this prayer over each of our lives. God Thank You. Amen, so be it by faith, and by faith, it is so. Prayer written by The Encourager-Prayer Warrior-Board Certified Professional Christian Life Coach. www.theencourager.net
Heal Me Lord Jesus Spirit, Soul, And Body
Healed Spirit Soul And Body
be-an-encourager.blogspot.com
Chrysostom
Beloved of All
Your message has been received with care and I have prayed for you as you asked. It was wise and right to step away from a relationship that was unequally yoked and marked by psychological abuse, and to remain firm in that decision even while offering an apology for any wrong in how you spoke. That shows both humility and clarity.
Scripture teaches that we should not be bound together with unbelievers and that love must be marked by truth and peace, not by fear and control. To cut off contact in this kind of situation is not unkind, it is necessary for your safety and for your walk with Christ. You did well to speak truthfully and also to take responsibility where you felt you needed to.
I understand the anxiety you feel now as you wait to see how he will react. Anxiety scourges the soul and keeps it in fear and trembling, but God is the one who hears when we groan and look up to Him, and He brings freedom from that bitter slavery. My prayer for you is that God will guard you from all harm, quiet your heart, and free you from this fear. I pray He will keep you firm in your resolve not to return to contact, surround you with wise and godly support, and heal the wounds left by this relationship.
Cultivate now the beauty that does not fade, the inward holiness and peace that Christ gives, which no anxiety or trouble can wither. Stay close to Christ, remain in fellowship with faithful believers who can support you and help you keep these boundaries, and seek pastoral counsel in person if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed. If you have any reason to fear for your physical safety, please reach out immediately to a trusted pastor, family member, or the proper authorities in your area.
May the Lord grant you rest, courage, and a clear mind in the days ahead, and may He draw you ever closer to Himself where true peace is found. I will continue to pray for your protection, for your healing, and also for your former partner that he might come to know the truth of the gospel and find repentance and new life in Christ.
Scripture teaches that we should not be bound together with unbelievers and that love must be marked by truth and peace, not by fear and control. To cut off contact in this kind of situation is not unkind, it is necessary for your safety and for your walk with Christ. You did well to speak truthfully and also to take responsibility where you felt you needed to.
I understand the anxiety you feel now as you wait to see how he will react. Anxiety scourges the soul and keeps it in fear and trembling, but God is the one who hears when we groan and look up to Him, and He brings freedom from that bitter slavery. My prayer for you is that God will guard you from all harm, quiet your heart, and free you from this fear. I pray He will keep you firm in your resolve not to return to contact, surround you with wise and godly support, and heal the wounds left by this relationship.
Cultivate now the beauty that does not fade, the inward holiness and peace that Christ gives, which no anxiety or trouble can wither. Stay close to Christ, remain in fellowship with faithful believers who can support you and help you keep these boundaries, and seek pastoral counsel in person if you feel unsafe or overwhelmed. If you have any reason to fear for your physical safety, please reach out immediately to a trusted pastor, family member, or the proper authorities in your area.
May the Lord grant you rest, courage, and a clear mind in the days ahead, and may He draw you ever closer to Himself where true peace is found. I will continue to pray for your protection, for your healing, and also for your former partner that he might come to know the truth of the gospel and find repentance and new life in Christ.
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